Anonymous wrote:I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but does this just mean she'll wear [more] boy clothes? Like, anatomy-wise, not really anything she can do, right? I guess testosterone...to try to grow facial hair (is that a thing? if it is, why -- my husband finds his shaving routine more annoying than anything!)?

This is a very ignorant comment

Thank you for answering this question. I am sure the PPs appreciate it and I do too. These issues can be difficult for those of us of a certain age who want to be kind, respectful, and inclusive to wrap our minds around. Consequently, people ask questions which can be interpreted as rude or disrespectful. Generally people who ask questions aren't trying to ridicule. They just want to understand.

Nonetheless, the prevailing attitude of many "activists" is to respond: "it's not my job to educate you. Figure it out." It is so unproductive. I mean it's not like you can google "what category do you fall in if you are a lesbian who got married to a woman who is now a man?" It isn't easy to understand. Maybe the answer is that you don't categorize, but often the category is important if you want to understand and offer respect. The opposite of love is indifference. Interest demonstrates caring.

NP. It's interesting that you chose to respond to a post that answered the question in good faith by complaining about "those people" who don't explain things to you.

I'd also push back on the idea that asking questions always means caring. There's a phenomenon that is rife in discussions of trans issues that can be called "JAQ'ing off."

It's Just Asking Questions, except the questions are often confrontational, rude, or can easily be Googled.

A resin I know in a hetero relationship came out as trans. They are now separated. I will be pleasantly surprised if they remain together if Elliot plans on having surgery.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

How does that work? I have the same question - the wife is a lesbian but is now married to a man? Does she want to be married to a man? Wouldn't that be akin to a heterosexual marriage where the male comes to terms with his sexuality, comes out as gay and the couple divorce (even if they remain close friends and love each other?) I'm sure the spouse wants Elliot to be happy but might a little part of her be sad that she is no longer married to a woman?

Anyway...good for him.

It doesn’t “work” any specific way. Depends on the people and the relationship...just like any other big change. Sometimes they divorce. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they feel sad or angry or happy or any number of emotions at the same time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

What does queer mean anyways? I never understood that term. Gay and lesbian and bi make sense but what is queer?

Basically it's an umbrella term: Queerness encompasses an intersection of identities. The term queer indicates an “individual who self-identifies as either Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (also sometimes called “questioning”), intersex, and or asexual, aka the LGBTQIA+ community.

Thank you for answering this question. I am sure the PPs appreciate it and I do too. These issues can be difficult for those of us of a certain age who want to be kind, respectful, and inclusive to wrap our minds around. Consequently, people ask questions which can be interpreted as rude or disrespectful. Generally people who ask questions aren't trying to ridicule. They just want to understand.

Nonetheless, the prevailing attitude of many "activists" is to respond: "it's not my job to educate you. Figure it out." It is so unproductive. I mean it's not like you can google "what category do you fall in if you are a lesbian who got married to a woman who is now a man?" It isn't easy to understand. Maybe the answer is that you don't categorize, but often the category is important if you want to understand and offer respect. The opposite of love is indifference. Interest demonstrates caring.

Are films that he made as Ellen\her page still credited as Ellen and a movie like Juno is it still referred to as her or his work?

Super happy for him and for all of the trans kids who need to see more healthy and happy role models!

And to the pp parent of a trans child - love knowing that your child has such a loving and accepting home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

What does queer mean anyways? I never understood that term. Gay and lesbian and bi make sense but what is queer?

Basically it's an umbrella term: Queerness encompasses an intersection of identities. The term queer indicates an “individual who self-identifies as either Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (also sometimes called “questioning”), intersex, and or asexual, aka the LGBTQIA+ community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

How does that work? I have the same question - the wife is a lesbian but is now married to a man? Does she want to be married to a man? Wouldn't that be akin to a heterosexual marriage where the male comes to terms with his sexuality, comes out as gay and the couple divorce (even if they remain close friends and love each other?) I'm sure the spouse wants Elliot to be happy but might a little part of her be sad that she is no longer married to a woman?

Anyway...good for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

What does queer mean anyways? I never understood that term. Gay and lesbian and bi make sense but what is queer?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but does this just mean she'll wear [more] boy clothes? Like, anatomy-wise, not really anything she can do, right? I guess testosterone...to try to grow facial hair (is that a thing? if it is, why -- my husband finds his shaving routine more annoying than anything!)?

Really? I mean, really? You sure about that?
You and people like you who just love to display ignorance are frankly tiresome. No one is living their life to satisfy you, so just go away. Your time is up.

Oh calm down the pp was just trying to participate in the discussion in a non-rude fashion and ask questions. It's natural to be curious and I didn't find their way of asking it offensive at all.

Continuing to use female pronouns is not "non-rude." If you think any of that was an honest question, I have a bridge in the desert to sell you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

They are queer.

Anonymous wrote:So is his spouse now ungay?

that's my question. The spouse was a lesbian, but is now married to a man?

Glad he feels comfortable coming out! Times are a changing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but does this just mean she'll wear [more] boy clothes? Like, anatomy-wise, not really anything she can do, right? I guess testosterone...to try to grow facial hair (is that a thing? if it is, why -- my husband finds his shaving routine more annoying than anything!)?

Really? I mean, really? You sure about that?
You and people like you who just love to display ignorance are frankly tiresome. No one is living their life to satisfy you, so just go away. Your time is up.

Oh calm down the pp was just trying to participate in the discussion in a non-rude fashion and ask questions. It's natural to be curious and I didn't find their way of asking it offensive at all.