OP, I hear you and you aren't alone. If you feel like this is depression and need professional support, please pursue that. Otherwise, as some PPs suggested, think small. I'm not a gratitude journal person, but I do try to find the little things in life that make me happy in the moment.

We are doing all-the-things for the holidays as a nuclear family to try and find a holiday spirit. Watching every Christmas movie and special that we can find. Baking way more cookies than we normally do. Yes, probably buying the kids a few more gifts since we won't be at a big extended family celebration. Dh is channeling Clark Griswold and hanging lights on anything that stands still.

I am very unhappy in my job, and get frustrated, but then take a deep breath and remind myself that the country is in a recession and we are fortunate. Sure, it isn't a great big feeling of happiness, but it's a stern reminder to myself.

Force yourself outside, ideally even a walk around the block or more each day. Fresh air and movement. I'm not setting huge goals to run a marathon or anything, but I'm trying to hit my step goal daily.

Reach out and admit the hard days. Do you have a friend or sibling who can help bear some of your load? I have a good friend with whom I text daily and we share the happy stuff (Look! A new bed for the dog!) and the hard stuff (Today sucks. Send me a funny gif.) Knowing we can help each other through bad days and don't have to keep it bottled inside is so huge for me.

News blackout. I don't know your politics but there are plenty of news stories spinning both directions that can raise your blood pressure. Try as hard as you can not to scroll news sites and social media.

Hang in there. Again, you are NOT alone in your feelings. Hugs.

Op, you need Meds

I have a co worker who is taking covid harder than anyone else I know. He and his wife live alone, no kids, both their jobs were telework prior to covid. I want to scream at him sometimes to get out of his ass.

But then recently I actually started feeling really sorry for him. It would be extraordinarily difficult to go through life like he is.

I don't think OP is entitled. I'm guessing it's more of an underlying mental health issue. Either way, no need to "punish" her on DCUM. She's clearly miserable enough as it is.

OP is entitled, period.

Simple recipe for happiness:

1) get a job. Preferably with demanding micromanaging boss

2) WFH with job and kids, letting kids have as much screen time as they want

3) do this for a month or two, until you kitchen is a hazardous waste zone and you wake up crying every weekday

4) quit job using saltyish language you can imagine, this will bring a burst of joy!!

Bonus round: make sure spouse has career tied to high COL area, but doesn’t make enough to pay mortgage on their salary alone, so you need to work

Let me know how step 4 is, I dream of it every night

OP. You are entitled to your feelings. I feel that way too sometimes- this sucks!! And for one I am tired of pretending it doesn’t. It’s okay to be sad or mad or whatever

You will start feeling better when you let yourself feel your feelings. Say it - I hate this stupid sh*t!

It is fine to just feel like you’re waiting it out. It does suck. There’s nothing wrong with you.

When you have let yourself feel all that, then you will start feeling better and start seeing some things to be grateful for.

Sounds like you're just whining and want a pity party.

Everyone around you seems to be maintaining some sense of normalcy in order to get through this and clearly you need to take it upon yourself to do the same.

Figure out what works for you rather than ruminating on what doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to the words of support.

I miss the ease of seeing friends. To do it now feels like you have to make a big “plan”, the weather must be nice, etc. I miss all the incidental contact of school pickups and extra curricular activities and school events, etc. I miss real travel, and I miss seeing the extended family beyond just parents and siblings after quarantining extensively. I miss my kids loving school. I had having to run a risk assessment on everything they ask to participate in. I don’t sleep well. I hate winter on a good year.

Oh, so you're just an extrovert. Piss off. I've had to live your way for 40 years.

+1000000000000000000000000000000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to the words of support.

I miss the ease of seeing friends. To do it now feels like you have to make a big “plan”, the weather must be nice, etc. I miss all the incidental contact of school pickups and extra curricular activities and school events, etc. I miss real travel, and I miss seeing the extended family beyond just parents and siblings after quarantining extensively. I miss my kids loving school. I had having to run a risk assessment on everything they ask to participate in. I don’t sleep well. I hate winter on a good year.

Oh, so you're just an extrovert. Piss off. I've had to live your way for 40 years.

I am an introvert and I am struggling. Not in the same way, but still struggling. I would normally spend 6-8 hours a day alone while my spouse and child were elsewhere. Now we are all in the same house together all the time. I can't even go to the bathroom on my own -- my kid has developed a lot of separation anxiety during covid and now freaks out if I even leave the room she is in. I have to choose between sensory overload from her screaming and crying, and spending even a few minutes alone. It is a very hard choice.

So it's not like the pandemic is hard for extroverts but great for everyone. If you are more comfortable now, I am glad (I have a lot of social anxiety, so I defintily understand the joy of all social obligations all but disappearing. But plenty of introverts are struggling too, in different ways. You can have compassion fro people who are different from you -- they didn't plan the pandemic. We are all having a hard time.

If you are a person of faith, ask God to give you joy.
.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to the words of support.

I miss the ease of seeing friends. To do it now feels like you have to make a big “plan”, the weather must be nice, etc. I miss all the incidental contact of school pickups and extra curricular activities and school events, etc. I miss real travel, and I miss seeing the extended family beyond just parents and siblings after quarantining extensively. I miss my kids loving school. I had having to run a risk assessment on everything they ask to participate in. I don’t sleep well. I hate winter on a good year.

Oh, so you're just an extrovert. Piss off. I've had to live your way for 40 years.

You're allowed to struggle. I've been trying to play up holidays and birthdays as something to look forward to. Been trying to see friends outdoors as much as possible. Grateful that I have a job and my health. But I have to constantly remind myself of all of that.

I miss my family. I hate doing my job from home and dread it every single day. My kids are louder and wilder than usual, no matter how much they play outside or how much I cut back screens. I'm exhausted and probably a bit depressed. It's definitely taking effort to be happy, but I work hard to put forth that effort.

Stop thinking about what you miss and when this will be over. Agree with the PP about meditation and finding small joys. There is happiness and joy everywhere in every day you just have to find it. When you start looking for it you will see it everywhere. It may be the kiss from your child or a delightful squirrel outside your window or a text from a friend. People have been through much worse with much less. Be the parent your children deserve.

It all sucks right now. Somehow we will make it through.

Find the small joys in life and keep a gratitude journal even if it doesn’t feel genuine at first.

Meditate. Even if it’s just for 3-5 minutes a day. Don’t judge yourself if your mind wanders.

Prioritize sleep and being outside.

Op....I know you can handle this. You’ll be ok. There are people who love and support you.