You do know that if you take her to a clinic and she is crying that her dad is making her do it then they won’t actually give her an abortion, right? Make sure she has birth control- maybe an implant would be better than the pill? They are going to have sex if they want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

you better hope DD agrees. It isn't like you can force her

Of course I can.

Hopefully, you're exaggerating because you feel frustrated, OP. I am strongly pro-choice and that means CHOICE-even for teens who are too young or for women who are likely to be not great parents. If you did actually force your child to have an abortion you could really mess her up. If you are that oppressive as a parent, I can see why her Dad doesn't want to go along with your rules and your daughter is sneaky with you.

Op here. No, you are wrong.

First, as I have stated, I am her dad. I don’t have any idea why people keep assuming I am the mother. It is the mother who is leaving them alone.

Second, a 15 yo doesn’t have a “choice” in this instance. Because her “choice” affects others, namely me and my ex-wife, who would be affected by having to effectively care and support the child.

And for those who asked, no, the boyfriend or his parents would get no say at all in this. They wouldn’t even be part of any discussion, let alone any decisions.

For the record, my ex-wife would support the abortion too.

To the PP who said she never had sex with her boyfriend despite opportunities— good to hear and I like to think I raised my daughter to be smart enough that way. And she may be the same. But I do worry about her impulsive nature, which has long been an issue in other areas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

I'm as pro-choice as they come, and this is a truly horrifying statement. You can encourage and educate her on this all you want, but it is her body and her choice at the end of the day. Coercing her (towards either decision) is morally bankrupt.

No it isn’t. She is 15. She will do what I say. I am not raising another child.

You've got serious control issues. No wonder you're divorced. Ride your daughter too hard, she might go to the courts and ask to move in with her father. I wouldn't blame her.

What the hell? I AM her father. Why would you assume I was a mother? What is WRONG with you?

I'm not the pp, but I've never known a man to use "anyhoo" and primary custody tends to go to moms, so it's not outrageous to assume. It's even worse if you are a man threatening to force your child to have an abortion. The level of control you are trying to exert over your daughter will harm her in relationships.

OP you can only control what you can control. You can't control your ex's parenting. You can't control your DD's choice to have sex or whether she gets pregnant. Or making her have an abortion, probably. What you CAN control is getting her to a GYN now so she can get some birth control. Even if you have to take her for a depo shot every three months. So do it ASAP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

you better hope DD agrees. It isn't like you can force her

Of course I can.

Hopefully, you're exaggerating because you feel frustrated, OP. I am strongly pro-choice and that means CHOICE-even for teens who are too young or for women who are likely to be not great parents. If you did actually force your child to have an abortion you could really mess her up. If you are that oppressive as a parent, I can see why her Dad doesn't want to go along with your rules and your daughter is sneaky with you.

I agree with you, but I believe OP stated that he is the dad. Doesn't change the rest of the argument, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

you better hope DD agrees. It isn't like you can force her

Of course I can.

Hopefully, you're exaggerating because you feel frustrated, OP. I am strongly pro-choice and that means CHOICE-even for teens who are too young or for women who are likely to be not great parents. If you did actually force your child to have an abortion you could really mess her up. If you are that oppressive as a parent, I can see why her Dad doesn't want to go along with your rules and your daughter is sneaky with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

I'm as pro-choice as they come, and this is a truly horrifying statement. You can encourage and educate her on this all you want, but it is her body and her choice at the end of the day. Coercing her (towards either decision) is morally bankrupt.

No you’re not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

She, boyfriend and baby can go live with Dad.

Anonymous wrote:I'm at a loss to understand how you could compel a 15-year-old to have an abortion against her will. Are you saying you would coerce her by withdrawing support? Not sure that's legal either.

It's not legal unless her life is in danger. However, she would need the wherewithal to fight it which many 15 y.o. don't have. It's easy for parents to coerce their children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

I'm as pro-choice as they come, and this is a truly horrifying statement. You can encourage and educate her on this all you want, but it is her body and her choice at the end of the day. Coercing her (towards either decision) is morally bankrupt.

No it isn’t. She is 15. She will do what I say. I am not raising another child.

You've got serious control issues. No wonder you're divorced. Ride your daughter too hard, she might go to the courts and ask to move in with her father. I wouldn't blame her.

Your kids may just decide they prefer living with their father. You will soon have to stop demanding your way. I feel sorry for you Poor child! You are probably driving her into the boyfriend’s arms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

The father would have no say?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

I'm as pro-choice as they come, and this is a truly horrifying statement. You can encourage and educate her on this all you want, but it is her body and her choice at the end of the day. Coercing her (towards either decision) is morally bankrupt.

No it isn’t. She is 15. She will do what I say. I am not raising another child.

Troll.

I'm at a loss to understand how you could compel a 15-year-old to have an abortion against her will. Are you saying you would coerce her by withdrawing support? Not sure that's legal either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd talk to your DD and her boyfriend, together. Acknowledge that you have no control, and that this is just one of the unfortunate outcomes of divorce. But tell them what you expect from them, and what you would like, and why.

Good idea.

DD already knows if she gets pregnant, she WILL have an abortion. I think the boy’s family is anti-abortion, so that would be interesting. It isn’t like they would get a say in anything.

Just an FYI: my mother always talked about how immature I was, and how I made poor decisions all the time. I dated three different boys while I was in high school. I didn't have sex with any of them. Despite the shortcomings my mother was convinced I had, I picked really nice boys who treated me well, respected me, were funny, smart and kind. Sure, one of them was the biggest weed dealer in the area, but he he was still all the other things I mentioned. But I didn't have sex with any of them despite two of them having cars and parents who worked outside the home. So please don't assume your daughter is definitely having sex.

Make sure she has an IUD.