I had stuff at my parents house until I was 37. My husband probably still has a few things at his parents’ house - but it’s a huge house.

I got my stuff back and then some when my parents moved into a townhouse. We have been very conservative in what we keep of our kids’ stuff. We have more photos now, so I feel like pictures of them playing with a toy are more important than saving a piece of plastic for 40 years only to foist on my future daughters-in-law. My mom and MIL have given us so much crap from the 80s that is not safe or useful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm the one who posted in the other thread, so I'll play.

I'm 40, and yes, I still have stuff in my mom's house.

3-4 boxes of childhood stuff -- art and schoolwork from elementary school, a couple very sentimental toys, some awards and paraphernalia from middle school and high school sports and activities. It's the kind of stuff I'd never display but I don't feel like I can get rid of.

The reason it's still at my mom's is because (1) we live in a tiny apartment and have very little storage -- I planned to get the boxes and store them a few years ago, but then we had a kid and our space disappeared. Also (2) my mom has a big house.

My mom hates that the boxes are there and it's become a point of contention. I'm going to have to figure something out soon because she has threatened to toss them. I think I'm getting a reprieve due to Covid, but as soon as it's over and people can travel again, I know she will start hounding me again. Truthfully, part of my reluctance is that my feelings are so hurt by how insistent she is that she doesn't want them. She has always been like this. She repainted my childhood bedroom and moved in office furniture the day after I moved out. Like I went back to pick up a box fan I'd left behind the next day, and the walls were already a different color and there was new furniture in there. I don't even know what happened to my bedroom furniture -- she probably took it to the dump.

Already posted on the other thread that your mom is torturing you. Boo on her. No, I don't have anything at my own mom's house -- we are estranged. : )

I am PP and I just wanted to say: thank you for saying this, on this thread and the other. I wish I could be like others and say "Oh I don't care if she throws it away, I'm not sentimental." But it's not about sentiment. Her resentment over these boxes feels extremely personal to me, like she is trying to purge any evidence of me from her life. I can't believe how much it hurts me even in my 40s. Maybe especially in my 40s. I love my daughter so much. I can't imagine throwing away her things. The thought of her moving away makes me so sad. It is so hard for me to understand why my mother is like this.

If you are 40, then your mom is at least 60 and maybe over 70. It is completely reasonable for her to expect you to take your things and keep them at your own house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm the one who posted in the other thread, so I'll play.

I'm 40, and yes, I still have stuff in my mom's house.

3-4 boxes of childhood stuff -- art and schoolwork from elementary school, a couple very sentimental toys, some awards and paraphernalia from middle school and high school sports and activities. It's the kind of stuff I'd never display but I don't feel like I can get rid of.

The reason it's still at my mom's is because (1) we live in a tiny apartment and have very little storage -- I planned to get the boxes and store them a few years ago, but then we had a kid and our space disappeared. Also (2) my mom has a big house.

My mom hates that the boxes are there and it's become a point of contention. I'm going to have to figure something out soon because she has threatened to toss them. I think I'm getting a reprieve due to Covid, but as soon as it's over and people can travel again, I know she will start hounding me again. Truthfully, part of my reluctance is that my feelings are so hurt by how insistent she is that she doesn't want them. She has always been like this. She repainted my childhood bedroom and moved in office furniture the day after I moved out. Like I went back to pick up a box fan I'd left behind the next day, and the walls were already a different color and there was new furniture in there. I don't even know what happened to my bedroom furniture -- she probably took it to the dump.

Already posted on the other thread that your mom is torturing you. Boo on her. No, I don't have anything at my own mom's house -- we are estranged. : )

I am PP and I just wanted to say: thank you for saying this, on this thread and the other. I wish I could be like others and say "Oh I don't care if she throws it away, I'm not sentimental." But it's not about sentiment. Her resentment over these boxes feels extremely personal to me, like she is trying to purge any evidence of me from her life. I can't believe how much it hurts me even in my 40s. Maybe especially in my 40s. I love my daughter so much. I can't imagine throwing away her things. The thought of her moving away makes me so sad. It is so hard for me to understand why my mother is like this.

I'm 39 and still have stuff in my parents basement. It includes various wedding presents my DH and I didn't know what to do with and some furniture we used when we lived in smaller spaces and don't need in our current house. There are also boxes of stuff from my childhood that my parents kept. Yes we could and should just get rid of it all but my parents have an unfinished basement that is just full of junk. 90% of it is theirs and 10% of it is mine. I'm an only child so at some point it will be my job to go through it all and get rid of everything. Right now my DD loves to go on exploring missions downs there and find my old toys and games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A little. I’m 40. We’ve whittled it down over the years. They can get rid of anything they want, but at this point it’s mostly my old toys they’re keeping for grandkid visits

Probably a bad idea to keep those toys. A lot of childhood toys from the 70s and earlier have lead paint. Trash.

Someone who is 40 was born in 1980. So unless the toys were purchased prior to this poster’s birth, that should not be a concern. My parents have a few things from my childhood that they chose to keep, Lincoln Logs, Lego, a Hot Wheels set, etc. I’m 40, but none of those toys were made in the 70s, the oldest is probably the Lincoln Logs and I think I got those in 1984.

41 and I sort of still have stuff but not at my parent's house exactly.

My parents were small business owners and in the early 90s they bought a 100 year old commercial building(it is really neat on the inside). My grandparent's lived in the same town and when they downsized or moved they would dump stuff in this building. My dad died when I was a teenager and my mom when I was a young adult. The building was left to my sister and me. All of our childhood through college stuff and then some is dumped in this building plus the crap of various family members. When my mom died, my sister and I spent several weeks getting rid of stuff but it got junked up again when my Grandma died the following year...

The building is old and requires a lot of upkeep but it is really hard for my sister and I to give it up for obvious reasons. We do have the commercial spaces rented so it sort of pays for itself. If it wasn't in such a god awful place I would move there and live in it surrounded by all my Cabbage Patch Kids... hahah.

Nope, I have all my stuff that I wanted. I'm 36.

My mom (parents divorced, joint custody) had me clean out my old room probably my 3rd year of college so she could turn it into a guest room. I packed up probably four boxes of mementos to keep, she was happy to store them for a while. I took the boxes when they downsized - I was about 30. Still living in a small apartment, but I went through the boxes, did another round of culling, and found room for the stuff I wanted.

My dad had me clean out my room more in stages - most of it right before leaving for college, and then I slowly took stuff I wanted, probably once a year when I had room in a suitcase, I'd take another few things. The final big clean out when I was probably 28. At that point, my sibs had kids, so I left a lot of toys and stuff for them to play with when the visited, at my dad's request, but I had taken everything I actually wanted to keep by then. The last of the toys got trashed/donated when he downsized last year.

I remember at the time being a little bitter that my mom wanted me to clean out my room in college (seemed earlier than most of my friends), but in retrospect, it was the right call. Much easier (mentally and logistically) for her to deal with 4 nicely packed, labeled boxes that could be put in the back of a closet, than to have a basically completely wasted room. Plus I had plenty of time to do it, because I was home for winter break, I didn't have to rush. And I do think those rooms that looks like museums of a late-nineties high schooler are a little silly. Plus, the guest room was really nice (my mom likes decorating) and it was really useful - they replaced my twin bed with a queen bed, my grandparents had a comfy place to stay, and once I had my first serious boyfriend at 22, there was a nice place for us to stay when we visited. I'd probably request a similar thing from my kids when they're grown.

Anonymous wrote:
A little. I’m 40. We’ve whittled it down over the years. They can get rid of anything they want, but at this point it’s mostly my old toys they’re keeping for grandkid visits

Probably a bad idea to keep those toys. A lot of childhood toys from the 70s and earlier have lead paint. Trash.

Twist: DH's parents have a full, unfinished basement that is a hoarders' paradise. Anything and everything from DH's childhood throughout college years is down there. DH is 52 and we've been married 25 years, I've been in the basement maybe 3 times.

Very occasionally, ILs will bring over some remnant that has bubbled to the surface; a sports championship tee shirt, a trophy, his beer can collection.

I'd love to have his record albums, so well have to put in a request. It's weird and creepy how DH's stuff is meted out and tightly controlled.

No, but at 40 I did because my mom is a hoarder and I could not get to my stuff. Around 5 years ago, she started throwing away her stuff voluntarily and uncovered some stuff from HS that I did want.

Here is a twist...

Mom gave me back a lot of my child hood junk, participation trophies, scrapbook, ect. I started throwing the stuff away. and I got in trouble for throwing it away. She's given me stuff for my daughter, my daughter doesn't want it so I donate. I get in trouble.

So I had a few other things, and I Told her, that if she really wanted these things then on her next trip she can take them home. I just don't dont want them. its not because I don't have space to store them but sorry I just don't want a pair of leederhosen from when I was 5...

To be honest the scrap book that is 36"x36" and four inches thick. I could burn it in the fire pit. I'm just not that sentimental. so I'm at the point, that I cannot get rid my own things as long as my mom is alive. Just in case she want to see that i still have it.

and for those of your who wont go pick up your stuff from your parents house. it means you really dont want it or care about it. and Trust me, your kids are not going to want it.

I don't. I rounded up most of my stuff once I got my own place after finishing college. For a long time, my wedding dress was in my mother's closet (I have no idea why) but about 10 years ago I finally took that and a couple of small boxes of stuff, and that was the end of it.

Definitely nothing of my husband's at his parents house because they tossed everything of his left at the house after he finished college and moved out. It wasn't a lot - maybe 2-3 boxes - but he was a little hurt that they didn't ask him to come get them or check to see if he wanted them before they threw out the boxes. No warning, just gone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i'm 43 and I still have stuff in my parents' house. My old bedroom is now a guestroom, but there are knickknacks there and two huge bookshelves of books and some stuffed animals. Also, in the attic is a large box of keepsakes that includes photos of old boyfriends and love letters that I wouldn't want to take to my house with my husband, but kind of don't want to throw away. Come to think of it, I should try to go through those some time soon just in case something happens to me and my husband and children have to!

Haha, SAME!! Thank goodness my parents never decided to go through it.

Are you absolutely sure they haven’t?

I have a miniature urn of part of my mother's remains at my father's house. I'm still in a travel / move residences every year or two mode of life, and I don't want to risk losing it. It will stay there for safekeeping for a while longer.

47. No. Have not since 26. They moved.