Anonymous wrote:OP here. To update everyone I decided to just call it quits. I sent a polite text explaining what I found online and that it made me uncomfortable so I didn’t think we should keep seeing each other. He proceeded to curse me out over text. So I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Good for you. I hope the next guy is a keeper.

But does he have a big ... wallet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be direct. You’ve been on one date with the guy, and it’s perfectly reasonable to google him. Don’t dance around it — it’s too big a deal.

This. Be direct.

I once caught a man I’d been dating for a month lying about 2 additional children and an additional marriage. He told me one ex wife, one child. How did I find out? I read his divorce papers - all of them.

I find this hard to believe. Where is it that "all" of someone's divorce papers are available to the public online? Typically, there is just a docket with the entries that give very few details of anything.

I found out something similar from an ex too. Told me about the first wife and two kids. No mention of the 2nd wife. I found it because of the child support order following the divorce. Once I had her name, I got additional info from her social media.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Arrests do not even show up on background checks.

Yes they do. I'm a landlord and the credit report I get on tenants include arrest records. Once it showed up for a potential tenant who got arrested for drunk in public in his 20s. I didn't care, but his g/f he was going to be moving in with did. They withdrew their application.

This kind of thing can be expunged, it's just a matter of hiring an attorney to do it.

Anonymous wrote:
Arrests do not even show up on background checks.

Yes they do. I'm a landlord and the credit report I get on tenants include arrest records. Once it showed up for a potential tenant who got arrested for drunk in public in his 20s. I didn't care, but his g/f he was going to be moving in with did. They withdrew their application.

I once met this HOT guy in a bar. He asked for my number and started texted me. I Googled him and discovered he was convicted on felony gun charges. Apparently 1) he was hanging out with a felon 2) allowing said felon to use his guns and 3) shot into his neighbor's home with the guns. Talk about STauPID. That said, I have no interest in being with a felon.

Anonymous wrote:Now that it’s over, can you tell us what the crime was?

This. Are we talking peeing in an alley or domestic violence?

Now that it’s over, can you tell us what the crime was?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To update everyone I decided to just call it quits. I sent a polite text explaining what I found online and that it made me uncomfortable so I didn’t think we should keep seeing each other. He proceeded to curse me out over text. So I feel like I dodged a bullet.

I'm glad you decide to drop him, but OP you did not owe him an email explanation to a guy you went on one date with. Based on the email explanation and this thread I'm concerned you are a bit desperate, a bit of a doormat which makes you a target for guys like this. Maybe therapy for self-esteem and assertiveness is in order.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To update everyone I decided to just call it quits. I sent a polite text explaining what I found online and that it made me uncomfortable so I didn’t think we should keep seeing each other. He proceeded to curse me out over text. So I feel like I dodged a bullet.

He sounds crazy. Glad you followed your gut intuition.

Yikes. I wouldn’t have told him what I found. Make sure you tell your close friends about him in case he knows where you live and was arrested for a violent crime.

Drop him. First of all, it seems odd (immature, or manipulative) to talk marriage on a first date!

You obviously took the bait and are now contemplating dating someone you would never have swiped on if you had googled him first. Sorry, but I am your really check.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To update everyone I decided to just call it quits. I sent a polite text explaining what I found online and that it made me uncomfortable so I didn’t think we should keep seeing each other. He proceeded to curse me out over text. So I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Whoa, definitely dodged a bullet. Hopefully he won't find a way to clean his online presence. Thanks for the update--I'm not sure I'd have been as candid as you when calling it quits.

OP here. To update everyone I decided to just call it quits. I sent a polite text explaining what I found online and that it made me uncomfortable so I didn’t think we should keep seeing each other. He proceeded to curse me out over text. So I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be direct. You’ve been on one date with the guy, and it’s perfectly reasonable to google him. Don’t dance around it — it’s too big a deal.

This. Be direct.

I once caught a man I’d been dating for a month lying about 2 additional children and an additional marriage. He told me one ex wife, one child. How did I find out? I read his divorce papers - all of them.

I find this hard to believe. Where is it that "all" of someone's divorce papers are available to the public online? Typically, there is just a docket with the entries that give very few details of anything.

After she confronted him with evidence from ALL of his papers, the whole restaurant clapped.