Anonymous wrote:Recently started dating this guy, it’s been about two weeks. Everyone we hangout with his friends it becomes an all night party. Enjoy his energy and outgoing personality but how do I relay to him I want more one on one time? He does drink heavily as do I so no animosity against the party life. Need some advice on how to ask without coming off attention seeking or needy.

To me two weeks seems kind of soon to make assumptions about the guy, whether he'll never change, etc. He may be using his friends to screen you, see what type of person he is. Maybe they're having a party binge after some big projects, being cooped up due to the pandemic, because someone lost a family member, etc, who knows? If you like partying, which you do, there's not enough information for you to draw definitive conclusions.

That said, if you want alone time, tell him. Maybe invite him over for dinner, or go out somewhere just the two of you. If he balks, then that's a red flag, given that you've done nothing but hang out in groups.

A question to clarify, other posters are inferring he is using you for sex. But if you guys are never alone, when does the sex occur?

Anonymous wrote:Why the hell are you out partying every night during a pandemic? Let’s start there.

Boats and hos! Prestige worldwide!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the hell are you out partying every night during a pandemic? Let’s start there.

Doctors are the ones throwing these parties. Bet you didn’t expect that one. Shocking! I know.

Some doctors smoke. You didn’t answer the question.

*down

He doesn’t plan to date you. He just wants sex and fun and he thought maybe you’d get the hint and be sown for that.

Anonymous wrote:Failure to launch. Loser.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy who had a similar lifestyle, it would be hard to find someone else like you. Maybe hold out a little longer and see if he picks up on it. My thing wasn’t as much partying, it was travel with a good amount of partying throw in. We would land and look at the departure board at Dulles and pick the next spot.

Dec - March were insane, NYE, bowl games, skiing, Super Bowl, winter beach trips, Europe, Asia, NCAA tournament, skiing again, beach again. At one point I was never in the same place for more than 3 days and didn’t walk through my front door for 3 months. Meeting someone that could keep up actually made me want to slow down.

This! You completely understand! I’m on a jet in every other week for work and parties are always available. We have the same lifestyle. It’s not as though we’re not compatible, asking for guidance on how to properly approach the discussion of quality “us” time without the needy aspect.

I already told you to just ask to have dinner alone! If you can't talk to him about this and you are having sex that is weird.

How much do you want to bet that he’ll dump her the instant she asks him this?

Or they will go out to dinner and have nothing to talk about until after they have had two bottles of wine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy who had a similar lifestyle, it would be hard to find someone else like you. Maybe hold out a little longer and see if he picks up on it. My thing wasn’t as much partying, it was travel with a good amount of partying throw in. We would land and look at the departure board at Dulles and pick the next spot.

Dec - March were insane, NYE, bowl games, skiing, Super Bowl, winter beach trips, Europe, Asia, NCAA tournament, skiing again, beach again. At one point I was never in the same place for more than 3 days and didn’t walk through my front door for 3 months. Meeting someone that could keep up actually made me want to slow down.

This! You completely understand! I’m on a jet in every other week for work and parties are always available. We have the same lifestyle. It’s not as though we’re not compatible, asking for guidance on how to properly approach the discussion of quality “us” time without the needy aspect.

I already told you to just ask to have dinner alone! If you can't talk to him about this and you are having sex that is weird.

How much do you want to bet that he’ll dump her the instant she asks him this?

Party guys seek fun and attention, so the girl on their arm is used to attract that attention. It's not about you; it's about how he looks to the party crowd with you on his arm. Same with politicians and celebrities.

Anonymous wrote:Why the hell are you out partying every night during a pandemic? Let’s start there.

Doctors are the ones throwing these parties. Bet you didn’t expect that one. Shocking! I know.

It's easy -- you ask him out on a date and you do something not involving hanging out with his friends.

Why the hell are you out partying every night during a pandemic? Let’s start there.

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest one on one time--dinner or a day date type thing. See how that goes. Keep suggesting these things. Keep having fun at his parties if you want but make sure you're getting what you need. If it doesn't happen, you have your answer.

If he wanted to go on dates, he would ask you on dates. But he hasn't. So, tell him you would like some one-on-one time and see if he agrees. If he likes you enough he will do it.

The other explanation is he is an alcoholic, and values partying with friends and drinking more than spending time with just you. I have been there. It sucks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you describe here isn’t dating

This.

He's getting sex without having to actually have a relationship.

Stop being a doormat. This guy isn't the prize you think he is. Trust me, I'm married to a guy with money who is friends with legit billionaires, they poop and fart just like the rest of us.

"Hanging out with your friends isn't working for me anymore. I'd like for us to go on actual dates" If he protests, "this isn't the kind of relationship I want. Best of luck to you".

not OP but you sound kind of psycho

Lol. Maybe I am 😜

I figured out a long time ago that men have no problem asking for what they want, and no problem leaving if they don’t get it. So I started doing the same. Makes life way more enjoyable.

I would suggest one on one time--dinner or a day date type thing. See how that goes. Keep suggesting these things. Keep having fun at his parties if you want but make sure you're getting what you need. If it doesn't happen, you have your answer.