Anonymous
10/17/2020 10:25
Subject: Re:College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Senior administrator at a large, top ranked research university here,
Oh my yes. The over-involvement of parents is actually very concerning. It’s disturbing. I fear students graduate without any opportunity for academic struggle (the healthy kind), any self reflection on what they’re passionate about career wise (not their parents), and little to no examples of the power of their own initiative and effort. I’ve actually seen this very recently in an amazingly bright young student and it saddens me, honestly.
You wouldn’t believe the parent stories from the administration building. Contacting top admins about class formats and schedules, angry and basically wanting to speak to a ‘manager’ bout why their student can’t get into a major, why we don’t offer a pathway that the parent is seeking, and we see them on fb all encouraging one another to get their kids to waive ferpa so helicopters can get into grades, when assignments are due, when advising appointments are, etc.
(And let me be clear. We are completely here to receive to be alerted by anything egregious to ensure the health and wellness of our students and of course there are so many important reasons why the university has a accommodation processes and related care pathways for students. I’m not talking about that. 90% of the parental involvement with administration has nothing to do with any of these important matters. )
To the helicopter parents, treating your college students like 4th graders, you are robbing your children of a great, self-discovering and enlightening college experience that they should cherish for all of its benefits. Plus they’re in a supportive environment. They won’t get that again. You’re paying for that experience, right? Alternatively other students they interact with are taking on debt for that. Stop ruining it for your kid and others. I won’t even get into the knots that our advisers and faculty stomachs get twisted into based on completely unnecessary parental intervention for undergraduate students.
Parents love their kids. I’m a parent too! Focus on helping your child get ready to take greatest advantage of the college experience and yes hold us accountable for offering a top ranked, top notch academic environment. But back off your kids. They’re our future. Let them grow.
Yikes! The only thing I’d quibble with is that a school should accommodate reasonable efforts to get into needed classes. That part is ridiculous. You can’t brag about all the majors and programs you offer and then not provide reasonable access to the required classes. Colleges are businesses and they take the money and sometimes say “sorry, you can’t have what you just bought”.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 10:16
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
I’m a middle-level administrator and I talk to parents every day. They are usually paving the way for a nervous student to talk to us. When students take the initiative to make the first contact, we give them some praise. Ideally, by sophomore year, students should be confident and competent enough to work with the various offices at the college.
My boss just talks to other administrators.
My boss just talks to other administrators.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 10:12
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Just one. But he had been educated in another country and was used to a system where majors were declared much earlier. Was sending his daughter off to college and wanted to meet her advisor (me) and determine whether she was on track and in good hands. I managed to reassure him on both counts. Didn’t begrudge him the visit, which occurred early in her freshman year (she was a combination of mortified/apologetic and comically resigned).
I’d feel really differently about a parent who intervened about a grade. But can imagine other situations (accident/incapacity/concern about suicidality) where a parent might check in for legit reasons and/or had no idea whom to call.
I’d feel really differently about a parent who intervened about a grade. But can imagine other situations (accident/incapacity/concern about suicidality) where a parent might check in for legit reasons and/or had no idea whom to call.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 10:11
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please. If a professor talked to a parent about a student that would be the type of confidentiality breach that would result in serious disciplinary action or possible termination. The standard response (if they bother) is some variation of the following:
“I cannot discuss any student’s grades with outside parties. In fact I’m not even at liberty to confirm or deny that your child is enrolled my class. I suggest you talk to your child directly.”
And no, it makes zero difference if you’re paying your kids tuition.
Give us $100,000 to $320,000 for your brat's BA and don't you dare inquire about ANYTHING. In fact, don't even make eye contact when you see us. Ivory Tower hacks really live in their own world.
The point is that if your student is flunking or doing poorly, the person who has figured out how to teach their area of expertise to hundreds/thousands of students for years probably isn’t the one not doing their job.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 09:24
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
In 15 years of teaching I have never been contacted by a parent. I’m glad to hear that administration deals with lots of parents because at least that means administration is doing something at all
Anonymous
10/17/2020 08:43
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
When I was 24 my mom contacted my advisor, who then emailed me. It was 1990, and I was out of the country doing research. I had email access, but did not have a phone. I was in a Asia 12 hours out of sync with home timezone.
Calling home was not trivial: I had to go to the post office, and wait for a phone. My thinking was to delay the call from Sunday to Tuesday because Tuesday was my Parents 30th anniversary. Only, I had no way to communicate that to my parents. So, when I did not call on SUN, they panicked. On Mon, they called my advisor, who emailed me. I called them as soon as I could; woke them up.
Calling home was not trivial: I had to go to the post office, and wait for a phone. My thinking was to delay the call from Sunday to Tuesday because Tuesday was my Parents 30th anniversary. Only, I had no way to communicate that to my parents. So, when I did not call on SUN, they panicked. On Mon, they called my advisor, who emailed me. I called them as soon as I could; woke them up.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 08:39
Subject: Re:College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Senior administrator at a large, top ranked research university here,
Oh my yes. The over-involvement of parents is actually very concerning. It’s disturbing. I fear students graduate without any opportunity for academic struggle (the healthy kind), any self reflection on what they’re passionate about career wise (not their parents), and little to no examples of the power of their own initiative and effort. I’ve actually seen this very recently in an amazingly bright young student and it saddens me, honestly.
You wouldn’t believe the parent stories from the administration building. Contacting top admins about class formats and schedules, angry and basically wanting to speak to a ‘manager’ bout why their student can’t get into a major, why we don’t offer a pathway that the parent is seeking, and we see them on fb all encouraging one another to get their kids to waive ferpa so helicopters can get into grades, when assignments are due, when advising appointments are, etc.
(And let me be clear. We are completely here to receive to be alerted by anything egregious to ensure the health and wellness of our students and of course there are so many important reasons why the university has a accommodation processes and related care pathways for students. I’m not talking about that. 90% of the parental involvement with administration has nothing to do with any of these important matters. )
To the helicopter parents, treating your college students like 4th graders, you are robbing your children of a great, self-discovering and enlightening college experience that they should cherish for all of its benefits. Plus they’re in a supportive environment. They won’t get that again. You’re paying for that experience, right? Alternatively other students they interact with are taking on debt for that. Stop ruining it for your kid and others. I won’t even get into the knots that our advisers and faculty stomachs get twisted into based on completely unnecessary parental intervention for undergraduate students.
Parents love their kids. I’m a parent too! Focus on helping your child get ready to take greatest advantage of the college experience and yes hold us accountable for offering a top ranked, top notch academic environment. But back off your kids. They’re our future. Let them grow.
Oh my yes. The over-involvement of parents is actually very concerning. It’s disturbing. I fear students graduate without any opportunity for academic struggle (the healthy kind), any self reflection on what they’re passionate about career wise (not their parents), and little to no examples of the power of their own initiative and effort. I’ve actually seen this very recently in an amazingly bright young student and it saddens me, honestly.
You wouldn’t believe the parent stories from the administration building. Contacting top admins about class formats and schedules, angry and basically wanting to speak to a ‘manager’ bout why their student can’t get into a major, why we don’t offer a pathway that the parent is seeking, and we see them on fb all encouraging one another to get their kids to waive ferpa so helicopters can get into grades, when assignments are due, when advising appointments are, etc.
(And let me be clear. We are completely here to receive to be alerted by anything egregious to ensure the health and wellness of our students and of course there are so many important reasons why the university has a accommodation processes and related care pathways for students. I’m not talking about that. 90% of the parental involvement with administration has nothing to do with any of these important matters. )
To the helicopter parents, treating your college students like 4th graders, you are robbing your children of a great, self-discovering and enlightening college experience that they should cherish for all of its benefits. Plus they’re in a supportive environment. They won’t get that again. You’re paying for that experience, right? Alternatively other students they interact with are taking on debt for that. Stop ruining it for your kid and others. I won’t even get into the knots that our advisers and faculty stomachs get twisted into based on completely unnecessary parental intervention for undergraduate students.
Parents love their kids. I’m a parent too! Focus on helping your child get ready to take greatest advantage of the college experience and yes hold us accountable for offering a top ranked, top notch academic environment. But back off your kids. They’re our future. Let them grow.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 08:34
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Once—my student was in a car accident and in the hospital. The parent emailed all her daughters professors and the administration explaining the situation and why her daughter would not be in class.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 08:23
Subject: Re:College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
I came down with mono during spring break of Freshman year and couldn't get back to campus on time. I know my parents reached out to the administration to help get extentions on work that was due and to see what could be done about exams and getting copies of notes. I'm not sure if they spoke with any professors directly, but they may have. I was pretty sick and out of it. I did recover a few weeks later and finished out the semester. They viewed it as a medical emergency.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 08:12
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Teachers are like Gods. They get very very very mad if a parent question them. I have never talk to any of my kids college profs or have a way to teach them.
I do recall in third grade my daughters teacher was very bad and my smart kid for first time and only time grades slipped.
Age called us in for a mid day conference and husband and wife have to attend. She kept say MY classroom, MY Class, My rules. I finally said it is the kids classroom not yours you are just like the Front Desk Clerk at a Marriott hotel and your job is to make the guests happy it is not about you.
She lit up and said want to discuss it further I will send my husband to your house tonight to settle it man to man!
I declined.
I do recall in third grade my daughters teacher was very bad and my smart kid for first time and only time grades slipped.
Age called us in for a mid day conference and husband and wife have to attend. She kept say MY classroom, MY Class, My rules. I finally said it is the kids classroom not yours you are just like the Front Desk Clerk at a Marriott hotel and your job is to make the guests happy it is not about you.
She lit up and said want to discuss it further I will send my husband to your house tonight to settle it man to man!
I declined.
Anonymous
10/17/2020 00:50
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
This is why parents should get the FERPA waiver, especially since f the need to advocate for SN children
Anonymous
10/16/2020 22:33
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."
If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.
Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?
That you’ve posted the same thing 50 times.
Anonymous
10/16/2020 21:54
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."
If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.
Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?
NP. What do I say to that? I say you still have to talk to an administrative office, moron, not a faculty member. Your identity and the paperwork has to be verified. None of this involves direct faculty contact. It all goes through administrative staff in the registrar' office, office of student services, individual college's dean of students, etc.
It goes through more than one office, but the needy parents don't really understand that. The needy parents get a reputation amongst the school, much like the problem kids get a reputation in es/ms/hs.
Anonymous
10/16/2020 21:40
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."
If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.
Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?
I would say there is a process in place for students to submit a grade dispute. This rightly has nothing to do with the parents. Your lawyer friend is out to lunch.
^^^
And 99% of the time the faculty and administration adjudicating such disputes concur with the professor's judgment. If you want to treat college like a consumer shopping at a mall, you'll need to go to a less selective university.
Anonymous
10/16/2020 21:37
Subject: College professors and faculty- do you ever have to deal with undergrad parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope. Quoting from another thread: "In the U.S., student educational records are protected under the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). That means that we can not discuss a student’s grades - or even whether or not the student is actually enrolled in the class - without the express written consent of the student, a court order, or a situation where there is a threat to the health and safety of someone in the class."
If a student is having personal or academic difficulties, they are referred to the appropriate support offices.
Right, those stupid parents, having no idea. Many actually do have that written consent from a student. My lawyer friend advised me to do it, just in case, together with the health care proxy before my daughter left for campus. What do you say to that?
I would say there is a process in place for students to submit a grade dispute. This rightly has nothing to do with the parents. Your lawyer friend is out to lunch.