I get along well with my inlaws now, but it was a long road (20 years!) to get to this point. My FIL has always been kind to me, but he's pretty introverted when it comes to interacting with anyone in the family. In the past my MIL and I were at odds over a number of things, although we still interacted regularly. I honesty think me chilling out a lot about things has helped tremendously. I try to treat her with kindness and give her grace when she acts nutty, and in turn she's a lot more respectful to me.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t speak with them much.

My H is emotionally/verbally abusive and they make excuses for it. I understand that he’s their son, but I’m not going to spend time around them and hear “he has a heart of gold and MEANS well!”

FIL is also pretty awful to MIL, and it’s extremely stressful to be around.

Well..now you see where DH got it. This is his normal.

Due to age differences between inlaw siblings and us as a couple, this is basically a non-issue and I can't tell if I am majorly missing out or damned lucky. Seems like a toss-up.

Do not usually enjoy their company, but every time I read how horrible some MILs are here, I know I’m lucky. Sometimes what I read here prompts me to send a gift they’ll enjoy/ can use. It’s a little bit of a cop out though, bc I’d rather send an unexpected gift then spend more time with them. But the surprises make them feel recognized and they well deserve that.

It's cordial - they don't treat me like family or seem to want to get to know me as an individual.

My MIL sometimes makes passive aggressive comments towards me.
My FIL had a stroke years ago and isn't all there and doesn't speak or interact with anyone.

DH had a crappy childhood and from the things he told me I have very little respect for them and don't really care to build a closer relationship.