Anonymous
Post 10/06/2020 12:07     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:Going through this currently and it is definitely difficult because there is no easy answer. We are not sure how long term this is so just making due the best we can. I did get a great sex toy and do not dwell on what I am missing. I feel even worse for him as I know his sex drive is high and to lose that along wit the chronic pain and everything else is devastating. We did after many months get to a point where he will help me and after almost a year we're finally able to have intercourse once so that was encouraging but yes, it is a tough situation. Do your best to have grace for what he is going through OP. People in these situations are not always themselves and can have a lot of trouble coping with these medical conditions.


Your situation sounds fundamentally different from OP wherein your partner actually cares about you, sees this as a relationship problem, and is willing to "work with you". Easy to have "grace" towards your DH when it's a "we" problem.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2020 09:27     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
Going through this currently and it is definitely difficult because there is no easy answer. We are not sure how long term this is so just making due the best we can. I did get a great sex toy and do not dwell on what I am missing. I feel even worse for him as I know his sex drive is high and to lose that along wit the chronic pain and everything else is devastating. We did after many months get to a point where he will help me and after almost a year we're finally able to have intercourse once so that was encouraging but yes, it is a tough situation. Do your best to have grace for what he is going through OP. People in these situations are not always themselves and can have a lot of trouble coping with these medical conditions.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2020 08:52     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
There are two types of people on this board. Those who have a sex drive and see sex as a legitimate need. And those who have a lower drive and see sex as something that's nice to have when the mood is right but more of a bonus.

The rest is just details
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2020 05:06     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:Oh well sucks to be you lean against the washing machine


On the spin cycle?
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 16:25     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, she's allowed intimacy at some point. What's wrong with his hands and mouth? Or give her a hall pass.


Ridiculous the woman can meet her own needs. Just get a sex toy and care on.

Ridiculous. A sex toy does not replace woman's normal needs for sexual intimacy.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 16:00     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
So sorry OP. In similar situation for a long time.

The best advice I can give is to seek a discreet relationship. Reduces your frustration and gives you the strength to be a good wife to you DH.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 15:37     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Hopefully DHs now chronic stomach pain issues can be treated after his endoscopy in a few weeks. It’s not so much waiting for sex, it’s how he reacts when I express sadness that I miss intimacy. When I say that, he yells and tries to shut me down as I’m crazy for even thinking of it. If he said, “ I’m sorry baby, I miss it too.” I’d just hug him and move on.

I feel like he throws temper tantrums and emotionally abuses me and takes his frustrations out on me.


I’m pregnant. I feel awful. I don’t want to have sex. My husband misses intimacy. You know who’s the right person to talk to about how this makes him feel? NOT ME. You’re going through something hard but I guarantee he’s going through something harder. Don’t make him medical condition about your feelings. Get your physical intimacy in ways that work for him (cuddles, kisses, whatever) and deal with being horny.


There’s an end in sight for your husband - you will deliver soon enough and heal. Not so for OP - her husband’s issues may or may not resolve. I agree that OP needs to be patient and supportive, but disagree that the topic should be off the table in the foreseeable future. That’s how you lose your connection as partners.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 15:34     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
If he is feeling too ill to be touched or touch you, would he be willing to watch you masturbate? Participate through being next to you, saying some sexy things?
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 15:28     Subject: Missing intimacy with sick husband
Carry on
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 15:27     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, she's allowed intimacy at some point. What's wrong with his hands and mouth? Or give her a hall pass.


Ridiculous the woman can meet her own needs. Just get a sex toy and care on.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 15:09     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are not in the wrong, he is selfish for completely refusing you


My spouse refused me for years and I ended up finding someone who was interested


WTF? the man is pretty damn sick.


How does finding someone else who is interested even involve the uninterested spouse?
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2020 12:51     Subject: Re:Missing intimacy with sick husband
Anonymous wrote:You are not in the wrong, he is selfish for completely refusing you


My spouse refused me for years and I ended up finding someone who was interested


WTF? the man is pretty damn sick.