I am always early. I hate the stress that being late causes me. I would rather get to a client presentation an hour early and find something to do right near by than be in traffic and worry I will be 5 min late.

BUT I never make my arrival someone else's issue. I park and sit in the car. I get coffee (pre COVID) and sit in a Starbucks. I drive around the block if I am picking someone up. 5 min early, I might pull up outside your house in case you are ready, but no to anything before that.


Start telling your colleague a time 1 hour after things start. (I do the opposite for my always late hubby - we need to leave at 10, I tell him we need to leave at 9) so tell your colleague the meeting is 11. When get gets there at 10, he will be ok but not 6 hours early.

OP - if everyone else is the problem and you are blameless, then chances are that you are the problem. I’ll bet you’re always late for everything and think being 5 to 10 minutes late is being “on time”.

I would never show up for a social engagement early, but for appointments and morning meetings, I'm often early. It's because I'm trying to beat traffic or at least be prepared for the unpredictability of traffic.

For meetings, I'd much rather someone show up early than late.

Anonymous wrote:I am a very punctual person. I try to match the other person I am meeting.

When I started working, I often felt late being on time so I changed. I learned quickly that being early was being on time and being on time was late.

DH is a surgeon and he is freakishly early for everything. He is the type to show up to a social gathering before start time. He never wants to be late and would rather err on being early in case there is an accident, traffic, etc. He absolutely would show up to a carpool super early.

Totally get why a surgeon would want to be early each and every time, but for a social event he should surf the web on his phone in his car and not knock on the door until the event's start time.

I am a very punctual person. I try to match the other person I am meeting.

When I started working, I often felt late being on time so I changed. I learned quickly that being early was being on time and being on time was late.

DH is a surgeon and he is freakishly early for everything. He is the type to show up to a social gathering before start time. He never wants to be late and would rather err on being early in case there is an accident, traffic, etc. He absolutely would show up to a carpool super early.

I seem to only know chronically late people! But both are annoying.

Anonymous wrote:for a business meeting 15 minutes "early" is NOT early. That is on time for the purpose of having everyone on your team meet in the parking lot.
The only issue I see with your co-workers is that they went in to the building and started introductions without you.
If this was my team I would explain and then expect everyone to arrive 15 minutes early in the parking lot and then walk into the building about 10 or 5 minutes early in order for everyone to sign in and get guest badges.
This way we, as a team, are ready at the meeting time. This is simply standard practice. From what I can tell, everyone does this.

To be fair, OP didn't say they "went in to the building" - they could have been casually starting introductions outside while waiting. She didn't say the meeting or substantive information was shared before she arrived. It was just meet and greet stuff while they were waiting for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since it’s trending among so many you know - adjust to them.
Start thinking 15 minutes ahead.
3 means 2:45
8:30 means 8:15

OP here. I started doing that with my coworker who then started to adjust earlier. One time we agreed to meet in Tysons at 10 and he was there at 9:00

I asked him just what the hell he was doing and he was flustered, no answer.

It's like he's trying to 'win'.

But there isn't a contest.

Freaking bizarre.

He was trying to beat traffic, or get shit done before you showed up.

I'm early to places all the time, but I sure don't expect everyone else to be. I get myself coffee, sit and read, enjoy some moments to myself (as a parent those are precious and rare!).

NP. That's great, but that wasn't the point of this poster's story. Wasn't this the guy who started a meeting with intros and stuff very early?

Ask yourself why the coworker and the clients were all there... and OP wasn't. It's hard to be exactly on time. At the end of the day, people trying to beat traffic or ensure they are punctual may end up someplace a bit early, and when you are hosting the event/client, it's helpful to get ahead of that.

If I were meeting a client, I would arrive 15 minutes early to ensure he wasn't the first one there and waiting around for me.

The soccer incident is more annoying for sure.

Anonymous wrote:I think they have anxiety. I hate it. I especially hate when people show up at your house early for an event. So rude!

This is DH. It’s so annoying. He SATs we are Leaving at 6:30, but at 6:25 he’s screaming at us to go. He does have anxiety.

The prostitute I hired for the evening showed up early so we could start the party early. No issues here....😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people believe 5 -10 minutes early is on time.

Some people think if you say join us for dinner at 6:00, you should arrive a 1/2 hour ahead so you are not showing up right as the meal is being served. This one needs to be spelled out. We we eat around ______, feel free to show up anytime after_____.

Some people are just odd.

This is me. But there are times when I believe it is not appropriate to come early: a party, when friends invite you over, carpooling, pretty much all the examples you listed. Showing up early can be a sign of good work ethic and curtesy, so long as your earliness isn't inconveniencing others.

You people must not be very busy. For professional appointments, I am filling my time with calls, emails, or quick tasks even if I am doing so while walking across campus to a meeting. If I'm early to a restaurant or gallery or some social activity, I occupy myself with a walk or emails rather than tapping my foot waiting for my companion. And I would never EVER show up to someone's home early. That is beyond rude.

Early is early. On time is on time. You agreed on a time for a reason. Don't be presumptuous that my time is not filled and valuable before our appointment.

That said: on time is on time, and I am always and unfailingly prompt.

If a meeting is at 4:00, then you need to be ready to start then — not finding a seat, hanging up your coat, etc. Meeting starts at 4:00. It’s like sports practice. If practice starts at 4:00, you should already be at the field/court and warmed up for practice. Don’t waste time at practice warming up.

For social gatherings, it is different.You should show up on time to a little late (10-15 minutes), so the hosts are set.

Anonymous wrote:I loathe being late, but I also know its obnoxious to be early. I am almost always 10-15 minutes early but I just hang out in my car or around the corner until its the right time, or if I'm going to a party usually 5-10 minutes post start.

That's what I do too. I don't like being late, so I try to build in a cushion. That often results in me being early. However, I would never, ever show up at someone's house or start a meeting early. That's inconsiderate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they have anxiety. I hate it. I especially hate when people show up at your house early for an event. So rude!

Or they are just a**holes. Like a person who showed up 45 min early to an event at my house with three people we had never met and let themselves into our house using our garage code! The only reason that person even had our code was because of an extraordinarily act of generosity we had done for this person. DH and I were running around doing our last minute stuff, lucky to even have been dressed and not in our undies when all of a sudden there are 4 people in our house.

That's just plain rude. I can be anxious and show up early more often than late. When I do, I wait in my car or take a walk around the block until the appointment time.

I loathe being late, but I also know its obnoxious to be early. I am almost always 10-15 minutes early but I just hang out in my car or around the corner until its the right time, or if I'm going to a party usually 5-10 minutes post start.