Anonymous wrote:Your husband says something direct to her. “I don’t go out with other women without [your name].” And he pulls back on spending time with her. Next time she invites just him over, both of you go together. And keep doing that. The invitations aimed just at him will quickly stop.

This.

Women should not invite men who are over in relationships with other women over for drinks.

Except honestly, I would just stop socializing with her entirely.

I am a single 47 year old and I would NEVER text another woman's husband and ask him to do something unless I a) invited the wife too and b) included the wife on the text thread.

Anonymous wrote:Why dont' you join in? Every time she invites, both of you show up? She'll get the hint.

This. He gets an invite and the two of you (plus kids) show up.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband says something direct to her. “I don’t go out with other women without [your name].” And he pulls back on spending time with her. Next time she invites just him over, both of you go together. And keep doing that. The invitations aimed just at him will quickly stop.

This. He needs to be like Mike Pence.

As a guy, this is pretty crazy

I think 1:1 work hours lunches or even the occasional 1:1 after work HH with a co-worker is fine

But all these neighbor dates cross the line

Yeah she's being inappropriate.

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

You can be friends but you really can't become friends with a married man without involving his wife.

Solo visit to the house for martinis? A hike? A dinner at a restaurant? If it was just one of these things, I wouldn't necessarily say it was a problem, but together these are starting to look like a series of dates, and I think it's totally weird and inappropriate of her to approach your husband like that. Your DH handled it well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Does this apply to coworkers, too? There's a mid-60 year old woman at my husband's office that continuously throws herself at him (he is mid-40s).

I hit the roof when I found out they'd had 1:1 lunches during work. He was all, "but, her age?? And I don't find her attractive (she's not)" yet I'm sure she doesn't see it that way.

Your reaction is over the top. Unless you find other suspicious things around their working relationship, a 1:1 lunch during work is not out of the ordinary.

Yup. I had a good male friend at work, we are both married (happily) and would often grab lunch together. Because we were friends.

Anonymous wrote:Like others, this would make me uncomfortable. But it's also sad a woman can't be friends with a man unless his wife is included.

Of course you can be friends, but it helps to have some friendship history. Sounds like these are friendly neighbors. Its not like meeting up with an old colleague you used to get beers with after work. Its just...different.

Anonymous wrote:Why dont' you join in? Every time she invites, both of you show up? She'll get the hint.

Op should politely tell her to f#ck off.

This sounds hot. Hope it turns into something for all of you to enjoy.

Why dont' you join in? Every time she invites, both of you show up? She'll get the hint.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

Mm hmm....let's have some lady texting your dh, inviting him in and out and see how that goes.

I know where that goes. Horizontal salsa dancing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

She is asking him on dates. And I say that as someone with good friends of both genders.

I would never repeatedly leave my friends' partners out of plans, and vice versa. Grabbing lunch once in a while? Sure. Regularly? Nope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should refer to you as mother.

Truly OP. This is all sounding very Mike and Mother Pence. It’s so bizarre how uncomfortable some married people are with their spouses doing things independently with people of a different sex.

Mm hmm....let's have some lady texting your dh, inviting him in and out and see how that goes.