Anonymous
09/24/2020 20:49
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
My husband took 4.5 months as primary caregiver leave (we have twins). It was amazing and we don’t regret one minute of it. He’s in big law and it’s certainly not typical, but the firm was very supportive.
Anonymous
09/23/2020 21:18
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
12 weeks as with every birth, and then DH will take another 3 months off after that.
Anonymous
09/23/2020 16:01
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH got no additional PL. I think he took three days after my C-Section both times.
Most of us whose husbands took leave didn't "get" anything, we were taking our own leave.
This is the PP. It was a new job with a very small firm (i.e.., 6 people) that made it clear that they didn't take off for the births of their children. Was it a sign of things to come? Yes, and I knew that. And he definitely felt as if he did not have the support for taking FMLA. The bottom line is that the theoretical availability of FMLA is only part of the equation.
Anonymous
09/22/2020 18:12
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
I always hesitate to tell people this in real life because it’s such amazing good fortune, but in the spirit of anecdata: my husband works in tech at basically the middle management level, and he took six months paid family leave. I’m a fed, so I was back in the office as soon as I drained my sick and annual leave (it was wonderful that he had so much time; I was jealous and pissed I had to be back at work while I was still a damn mess haha)
Anonymous
09/21/2020 20:45
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
Due late November. Husband will be “off” for maybe 4 weeks, has an event in mid December and then will be off until January. But he is essentially self employed at his own non-profit so he will be WFH as much as I want him to be and has flexibility. When I go back to work around April he’ll be the primary caretaker until June when I finish the school year. The amazing flexibility is the best benefit of his basically zero salary job!
Anonymous
09/21/2020 20:13
Subject: 2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
DH recently started a new job, so doesn’t qualify for FMLA. He will take 2 weeks off, but can WFH after that, which be a big help.
Anonymous
09/21/2020 18:53
Subject: 2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
He is taking 2 weeks paid right away but we also have a 2yo he will need to entertain and care for.
I get 6 weeks paid and unlimited unpaid so I'm just going to see how things go.
I get 6 weeks paid and unlimited unpaid so I'm just going to see how things go.
Anonymous
09/21/2020 18:45
Subject: Re:2020: how much paternal leave is your SO taking?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH got no additional PL. I think he took three days after my C-Section both times.
Most of us whose husbands took leave didn't "get" anything, we were taking our own leave.
I’m a woman and I have to use my own leave for maternity leave. I “get” to take it because of FMLA though. DC paid family leave applies to men too.
Exactly. Men are entitled to a full FMLA and can take it if they want. It is just a matter of planning ahead to save for it.
2nd pp here. That's what I was implying. I didn't get maternity either but I saved for a decade. I think men don't take it because they don't want to. DH's work now offers 12 weeks paid but none of the men take it. They're very family friendly and DH encourages his employees, but the men don't want that long. Women always take it.
I'm pregnant with a 3rd baby. DH will take 4 weeks when baby is born and then 6-8 weeks when I go back. That helps us so much more than him being home weeks 4-12 when I've got it all covered and just want to relax with new moms groups.
That's so interesting. My work offers 12 weeks regardless of sex and I don't know any man who didn't take the full 12 weeks. Work culture, I guess.