Anonymous
09/13/2020 22:49
Subject: Re:2 or 3 year age gap?
jsmith123 wrote:Initially I thought we'd have kids closer to 2 years, but my first was physically very challenging to parent.
Not a hitter or biter or anything, but a runner, a climber etc. We couldn't keep our eyes off of him for a minute. The idea of having an infant at the same time seemed impossible to me.
We ended up waiting, and their gap is closer to 3 years. Older DS was a good listener by then and it made life easier.
2 High energy, need to be watched every second boys exactly 24 months apart was SO, SO tough the first two years. No breaks! Now they are 2 and 4 and it's a lot easier and they sure do love each other and play together often.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 21:51
Subject: Re:2 or 3 year age gap?
My brother and sister are just less than 2 years apart and my sister and I are just less than 3 years. We all were / continue to be very close. My husband and I envisioned a 2 year gap, but due to a move and job change we didn’t start trying until our older daughter was over 2. Then it took almost a year and a half to get pregnant. It turns out the 4 year gap - while not what we planned - works really well (they are 3.5 and almost 8). I’d start soon if you’re open to two years because you might end up with 3 (or more). That said, my aunt was in her late 30s when she had her first over 40 years ago. Apparently her doctor told her if she wanted a second to try right away because at her age it could take awhile. Her kids are 13 months apart.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 21:51
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
Love the three year age gap - never had two in diapers. The first was fully potty trained (no longer having accidents) by the time the second was born, and was a little more self sufficient/willing to help with things like "please be a good helper and fetch a diaper for baby" or "can you show baby the best way to do x,y,z". A two year old still needs to be supervised non-stop, a three year old can play by themselves for long enough for you to feed the baby.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 18:57
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
I have less then 2 years, and then 4 years. There are pros and cons to both. Though I will say the 4 year age gap was really nice in terms of really getting to enjoy the baby phase; with my second kid I felt like I just survived her baby years. However, my older two have a really nice bond now that they are olde. My 3rd is getting pretty close to them now too. It helps all three are same sex.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 15:19
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
I'll tell you what I often tell my kids. "You get what you get and you don't get upset."
Anonymous
09/11/2020 14:59
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
Anonymous wrote:Whatever age gap you have, that will be your family. You'll either love their shared developmental interests or love how helpful your elder child is caring for the baby.
My kids have a 5.75 year age gap. It's great that elder child isn't jealous of anything younger child gets since she's fully outgrown those things. She has changed diapers but also goes on sleepovers to get space. I think it's really beautiful! People who had 2 under 2 have lots to love about that too. [/
Wow, an entirely reasonable person on DCUM.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 13:28
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
I have both. 3 year age difference was much easier on me as a parent, and the two with the 3 year age gap are actually closer/more bonded than the two with the 2 year age gap.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 12:42
Subject: Re:2 or 3 year age gap?
Anonymous wrote:We have a three year gap but honestly you sometimes cant predict when you get pregnant. You will be happy with whatever you get.
+1 mine are 3 years too and it's been nice, the only drawback was #1 dropped the nap before #2 got on a regular schedule so I never really had a period where both were napping at the same time.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 12:40
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
My kids are 2 y 5 mo apart and I think a 3+ year age gap would have been much less challenging.
When my son was born, my daughter was still in diapers for naps and nighttime, still napping, still in a crib, couldn't really dress herself. It was a challenge to deal with all that AND an infant. By the time she turned 3 just a few months later, all that had changed and she was so much more independent.
I also agree with what other posters have said about preschool. Luckily my daughter was able to go to a preschool that accepted 2.5 yr olds, so she went there a few mornings a week and it SAVED ME. I cannot emphasize that enough.
When my son was born, my daughter was still in diapers for naps and nighttime, still napping, still in a crib, couldn't really dress herself. It was a challenge to deal with all that AND an infant. By the time she turned 3 just a few months later, all that had changed and she was so much more independent.
I also agree with what other posters have said about preschool. Luckily my daughter was able to go to a preschool that accepted 2.5 yr olds, so she went there a few mornings a week and it SAVED ME. I cannot emphasize that enough.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 12:15
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
Anonymous wrote:18 month age gap. First 2 years are extremely stressful but now they're 5 and 6, I barely see them unless they need meals, they're always off doing something together. Totally inseparable from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed, they even sleep in one bedroom sometimes even though they both have separate rooms.
+1 This is true for my kids who are 21 months apart at 2.5 and 4. They play together all day long.
jsmith123
09/11/2020 12:04
Subject: Re:2 or 3 year age gap?
Initially I thought we'd have kids closer to 2 years, but my first was physically very challenging to parent.
Not a hitter or biter or anything, but a runner, a climber etc. We couldn't keep our eyes off of him for a minute. The idea of having an infant at the same time seemed impossible to me.
We ended up waiting, and their gap is closer to 3 years. Older DS was a good listener by then and it made life easier.
Not a hitter or biter or anything, but a runner, a climber etc. We couldn't keep our eyes off of him for a minute. The idea of having an infant at the same time seemed impossible to me.
We ended up waiting, and their gap is closer to 3 years. Older DS was a good listener by then and it made life easier.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 11:39
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
18 month age gap. First 2 years are extremely stressful but now they're 5 and 6, I barely see them unless they need meals, they're always off doing something together. Totally inseparable from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed, they even sleep in one bedroom sometimes even though they both have separate rooms.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 10:51
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
Anonymous wrote:Whatever age gap you have, that will be your family. You'll either love their shared developmental interests or love how helpful your elder child is caring for the baby.
My kids have a 5.75 year age gap. It's great that elder child isn't jealous of anything younger child gets since she's fully outgrown those things. She has changed diapers but also goes on sleepovers to get space. I think it's really beautiful! People who had 2 under 2 have lots to love about that too.
I have this age gap and I am struggling. While yes I agree to the points you make about how it is lovely, it is also a pain when the oldest wants to go ice skating, sledding, bowling, etc. All the things toddlers/preschools either can't go to or become a huge pain to take along.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 10:16
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
OP, as soon as you think you can control this is when infertility or an accident happens. Go when you're ready.
Anonymous
09/11/2020 10:14
Subject: 2 or 3 year age gap?
Anonymous wrote:Whatever age gap you have, that will be your family. You'll either love their shared developmental interests or love how helpful your elder child is caring for the baby.
My kids have a 5.75 year age gap. It's great that elder child isn't jealous of anything younger child gets since she's fully outgrown those things. She has changed diapers but also goes on sleepovers to get space. I think it's really beautiful! People who had 2 under 2 have lots to love about that too.
You when an older girl. Girls are usually more interested in playing mommy to a baby than boys are.