Anonymous wrote:So it's a woman's fault if she gets cheated on or abused?

No, it’s not.

But there are women who have never been in an abusive relationship and never will be. The OP is talking about women who easily find partners who go above and beyond and why that is. This thread is not abusive relationships.

They get worn down. It has been interesting to see the transformation of DH's friend from before he met his wife to 5 years in. His wife has a lot of outwardly positive things about her. She's pretty, smart, good job, and independently has money. But she's a huge B. DH's friend is very easygoing so just went along with her because she's a "catch". But after awhile the "going along with her" has turned into "he doesn't have an independent thought".

Because they don’t settle for less.

It really is that simple.

Checkout the "boyfriend rarely wants sex" thread if you want your answer. Doormats are rarely attractive. Men, real men, want a challenge, not some sad woman bowing down doing whatever for them.

Anonymous wrote:I never quote dr phil but on this one truism I agree:
"We teach people how to treat us." And I agree with the poster who said when someone is solid with you, you tend to want to deliver solid back.

I am in a relationship that people might describe this way- or they might say I wear the pants. Not sure that's really true, but I am def more assertive and less easy going than my husband. This is really interesting to read, and a agree with a lot of it-
- demanding women know what they want. i didn't settle when i got married. that could also be interpreted as i am "too demanding" but i tend to think marriage is the most important decision and i wasn't going to be one of those women married to a man who didn't know how to change a diaper three kids into the marriage
- clarity about what they want from their partner
- you teach people how to treat you
- type a attracts more easy going

I never quote dr phil but on this one truism I agree:
"We teach people how to treat us." And I agree with the poster who said when someone is solid with you, you tend to want to deliver solid back.

I don’t know if I‘m demanding but I’ve always had lofty expectations and my husband has always delivered. But with those expectations is my willingness to meet his needs which are lofty as well which includes very adventurous sex.

Anonymous wrote:Because demanding women are assertive women and opposites attract. Their husbands are passive. Passive men are less likely to cheat because they don't have the gumption.

But often those women get the most high achieving, goal oriented type of men. Theyre just also nice

Because demanding women are assertive women and opposites attract. Their husbands are passive. Passive men are less likely to cheat because they don't have the gumption.

Because they are picky and don’t settle for losers.

Anonymous wrote:What you see is what you get with outspoken (but kind about it) people. You want to do a solid for someone who is solid with you.

So well said. In my experience those "outspoken but kind" types tend to do well in life because of exactly that. People gravitate towards them for that reason

What you see is what you get with outspoken (but kind about it) people. You want to do a solid for someone who is solid with you.

Monkey know what tree to climb.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have standards and good self esteem.

Exactly. Women with good self esteem just don't put up with trash from men. They just don't.

This. Also. if you have the means and temperament to walk away from a marriage no guy will cheat on you. Men don't want a broken marriage due to their cheating or having a side piece.

Yes. Men are smarter than we give them credit for it. They know what's expected of them and what a good husband does. When they know a woman truly values themselves, they will do what it takes. When they know the bar is lower and the woman will probably tolerate a lot due to whatever issues, then they will do that, significantly lessening the work they do. Because why would you put in 110% at your job every day when you could get by taking late lunches and sleeping on the job and fooling around online?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have standards and good self esteem.

Exactly. Women with good self esteem just don't put up with trash from men. They just don't.

This. Also. if you have the means and temperament to walk away from a marriage no guy will cheat on you. Men don't want a broken marriage due to their cheating or having a side piece.

Yes. Men are smarter than we give them credit for it. They know what's expected of them and what a good husband does. When they know a woman truly values themselves, they will do what it takes. When they know the bar is lower and the woman will probably tolerate a lot due to whatever issues, then they will do that, significantly lessening the work they do. Because why would you put in 110% at your job every day when you could get by taking late lunches and sleeping on the job and fooling around online?