You choose three weeks?! Bull. She should have quit long ago.

Anonymous wrote:I’d give her the paid week off as a wedding gift. But I would make it absolutely clear that this is a one time gift and make her available PTO accessible to her so she can track it.

I agree with this. Also, $80k is a lot! I pay half that for my very good nanny. I also give her unlimited sick leave and a ton of vacation, because I have a flexible schedule and drive to visit my parents. And she doesn’t nickel and dime me. If I let her go a few hours early one week but ask her to stay an hour extra the following week because of a work thing, she has no issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that her leaving early and the week in October should all come out of PTO. Why not count that as part of the “3 weeks of your choosing”? It’s not like you’re going to take a big vacation this year anyways.

Though I would ask her to quarantine for a week after she comes back from her wedding and vacation. I cannot believe she’s traveling right now!!!!

Unfortunately neither of us can take this week off so we will need to find backup care. It’s a particularly busy work time in the fall until the holidays start

Also yes...don’t love the traveling, but obviously can’t tell someone what to do for their wedding / honeymoon and if we do ask her to stay home after it we will pay her (and other childcare l) bc it’s our choice

We are in a similar situation. We started with our nanny in late February/early March. She had a planned 1-week vacation for April. No problem. Obviously, that vacation was canceled, and she was given a credit by the resort to reschedule later. She chose to take the week off in April anyway, then came to us in June saying she had to use her credit by the end of July, so needed another week off. In addition, she had taken 4-5 days off for various things, so that puts us 5 months into our time, with her having taken 3 weeks off already. The trip she took in July was to a hotspot, so we chose to keep our kids with the back-up nanny for an extra week, meaning we paid for 2 weeks of back-up care in July, 1 week of back-up care in April, and a few other days. Neither of her trips were an appropriate time for DH and me to take off work. So, we are annoyed but we are staying for now because she is really good with our kids and keeps them active and engaged.

Oh, I forgot to mention that we will likely give her a smaller end-of-year bonus because we have already paid out extra PTO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that her leaving early and the week in October should all come out of PTO. Why not count that as part of the “3 weeks of your choosing”? It’s not like you’re going to take a big vacation this year anyways.

Though I would ask her to quarantine for a week after she comes back from her wedding and vacation. I cannot believe she’s traveling right now!!!!

Unfortunately neither of us can take this week off so we will need to find backup care. It’s a particularly busy work time in the fall until the holidays start

Also yes...don’t love the traveling, but obviously can’t tell someone what to do for their wedding / honeymoon and if we do ask her to stay home after it we will pay her (and other childcare l) bc it’s our choice

We are in a similar situation. We started with our nanny in late February/early March. She had a planned 1-week vacation for April. No problem. Obviously, that vacation was canceled, and she was given a credit by the resort to reschedule later. She chose to take the week off in April anyway, then came to us in June saying she had to use her credit by the end of July, so needed another week off. In addition, she had taken 4-5 days off for various things, so that puts us 5 months into our time, with her having taken 3 weeks off already. The trip she took in July was to a hotspot, so we chose to keep our kids with the back-up nanny for an extra week, meaning we paid for 2 weeks of back-up care in July, 1 week of back-up care in April, and a few other days. Neither of her trips were an appropriate time for DH and me to take off work. So, we are annoyed but we are staying for now because she is really good with our kids and keeps them active and engaged.

Anonymous wrote:What?

She has X amount of time off available. If she leaves arly that's PTO if she has enough to cover it. She should be using one of her weeks off for her honemoon.
Do up a spreadsheet to track her time off. When she uses it up, she takes unpaid leave.

Except she only gets to pick one week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that her leaving early and the week in October should all come out of PTO. Why not count that as part of the “3 weeks of your choosing”? It’s not like you’re going to take a big vacation this year anyways.

Though I would ask her to quarantine for a week after she comes back from her wedding and vacation. I cannot believe she’s traveling right now!!!!

Unfortunately neither of us can take this week off so we will need to find backup care. It’s a particularly busy work time in the fall until the holidays start

Also yes...don’t love the traveling, but obviously can’t tell someone what to do for their wedding / honeymoon and if we do ask her to stay home after it we will pay her (and other childcare l) bc it’s our choice

Lots of people postpone their honeymoons for various work-related reasons!

I’d give her the paid week off as a wedding gift. But I would make it absolutely clear that this is a one time gift and make her available PTO accessible to her so she can track it.

Some of these responses are unnecessary harsh towards OP.

OP, I'm a nanny and have had two long term (to me) positions. One for 6 years and one for 4 years. In both positions, I was compensated 52 weeks a year guaranteed pay, whether or not I was needed for whatever reason, asked to arrive later/leave earlier, and thankfully, when hurricane hit and couldn't go to employer's home. With both positions, we never really discussed what my vacations would be as I'm a homebody and never thought to bring up. I took very few (probably asked for 3 weeks off myself in the 10 years and with at least a month notice) but when I did or needed a day off or hours off for a doctor's appointment, etc, I was never docked any pay. I can understand the frustration if you as an employer have a nanny who takes up all the vacation weeks and the year is still yet to be over.
If you would like to keep her, I would give the week after wedding off paid and count it as a wedding gift, BUT definitely let her know that this isn't going to keep continuing when she takes more weeks off on her own accord in the same year.

By the way, yes, $80k is a great salary for a nanny. Anyone who says it isn't is lying af.

What?

She has X amount of time off available. If she leaves arly that's PTO if she has enough to cover it. She should be using one of her weeks off for her honemoon.
Do up a spreadsheet to track her time off. When she uses it up, she takes unpaid leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok - I’ll pay her and not say anything and reset for the new year. We pay her and 80k gross now which is more than my salary after taxes. It’s worth it to keep working for long term reasons but it’s not like both paying her and finding the $1500 for back up care that week (if that’s even possible) is nothing or that it’s normal in any job to just insist on extra time paid off not in your contract. But such is the times it seems. I’d feel better about it if she even acknowledged it like “I know I’ve used my one week pto but would you be willing to pay an additional week due to pandemic / hot market / wedding” whatever so it was an open discussion

Honestly, 80 thou is a steal. What are you bit-ching about? And if you make less than that in DC, why do you even bother working?!

80K is not a steal! That is a very high salary for a nanny!

Yup $80k in DC is top dollar, anyone who says otherwise is a nanny trying to inflate nanny wages in DC.

Nope, we pay more. But then again, we expect and demand more. Money talks.

I don’t think you understand what the idiom “top dollar” means. It doesn’t mean literally the best paid nanny in DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to break it to you OP, but it sounds like daycare might be a better fit for you. If one week of backup child care is even a second’s thought for you, then you’re probably not a nanny family. You might want to free her up for those who are.

Grow up, PP

It’s just the truth though.

Anonymous wrote:This would really bother me. It speaks to her character. Yes, we're in a tough spot right now, and you need childcare, so maybe you need to put up with it. But, when things get better, I would definitely find someone else with a little more respect/consideration.

Or maybe it reflects the fact that one week of her choosing is very limited — particularly during a stressful year like this one. The OP could provide the same amount of time — but give the Nanny more time of her choosing vs the OP’s.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to break it to you OP, but it sounds like daycare might be a better fit for you. If one week of backup child care is even a second’s thought for you, then you’re probably not a nanny family. You might want to free her up for those who are.

Grow up, PP

Anonymous wrote:Who are these ridiculous posters? Your nanny has a great deal and it seems there just seems to be some communication issues. Don't wait for her to initiate the conversation. Let her know that you value her and you appreciate the role she plays in your family. Let her know that you want to have an open and clear relationship and part of that is having clear communication about time off. Let her know you are not bringing that up to admonish her but because you don't want there to be any type of tension in the dynamic.

The nanny power imbalance here is so skewed. They are emboldened by this weird DC culture that idolizes them. 80% of your nannies that I see out at the park aren't paying attention to your kids or engaging with them.

For a good nanny, this PP is not giving you good advice. She will walk and you will be left empty handed. Especially now. And you’ll be left with an unskilled person like this PP apparently sees everywhere.

Who are these ridiculous posters? Your nanny has a great deal and it seems there just seems to be some communication issues. Don't wait for her to initiate the conversation. Let her know that you value her and you appreciate the role she plays in your family. Let her know that you want to have an open and clear relationship and part of that is having clear communication about time off. Let her know you are not bringing that up to admonish her but because you don't want there to be any type of tension in the dynamic.

The nanny power imbalance here is so skewed. They are emboldened by this weird DC culture that idolizes them. 80% of your nannies that I see out at the park aren't paying attention to your kids or engaging with them.