Anonymous
08/27/2020 00:02
Subject: Two under 2
21 months apart. First six months were absolutely hellish, not going to lie. The sleep deprivation, taking care of a toddler while also going through the newborn phase...
Life got a little easier when the baby started sitting up at 6 months and being able to entertain herself for short periods of time. A little easier still when she started crawling, then walking, and could follow her adored older sibling around the playroom. And when she got down to one nap at 13 months and they both went down for 2+ hours at the same time - bliss!
She's 22 months and they are really starting to interact and play. It melts my heart to watch them together.
Life got a little easier when the baby started sitting up at 6 months and being able to entertain herself for short periods of time. A little easier still when she started crawling, then walking, and could follow her adored older sibling around the playroom. And when she got down to one nap at 13 months and they both went down for 2+ hours at the same time - bliss!
She's 22 months and they are really starting to interact and play. It melts my heart to watch them together.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 23:11
Subject: Two under 2
Mine are almost 6 years apart. It’s fantastic. You’re all crazy.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 23:05
Subject: Two under 2
Anonymous wrote:Mine are 15 months apart and I love it, and they're 19 months and 4 months currently so I'm still in the trenches.
Hard parts:
-physical logistics. If we are downstairs and I need to take one upstairs for a diaper change we all need to go, so I either carry both (hard) or make two trips
-when they're both crying and need me at the same time, it kills me to have to prioritize one over the other
-I do feel like I'm missing out on certain parts of their babyhood because I'm focused on two at once
-DIAPERS
Tips:
-fully baby/toddler proof your house so you're comfortable leaving one alone for a bit to attend to the other
-more than once diaper changing station
-potty train the older one as soon as you can
-wear the baby as much as possible
-get them on the same bedtime routine early
Mine are also 15 mos apart but older now. My main tip -- you need to have diaper changing supplies all over the house, at minimum one set (diapers/wipes/folding pad or just a small towel) on every floor of your house. I'd have gone insane if I had to carry everyone upstairs for diaper changes.
And, a playpen/pack-n-play is a lifesaver as a safe place to contain the toddler and later the crawling baby when you need to attend to the other one.
Absolutely, same bedtime routines and nap schedules. We handled bedtimes by doing them 1-on-1, 1 child/1 parent. For the first year, DH always put the older to bed while I nursed the baby. One she weaned, DH and I started taking turns with them. This gives each child focused 1-on-1 time every night.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 18:22
Subject: Two under 2
That’s not two under two. Your first will be 2.
My son was 18 months when my second was born. That was “2 under 2”. And it was AWESOME, and still is for many reasons. I was glad my oldest wasn’t yet 2.
24 months is a very common age gap. There can be difficulties or not.
My son was 18 months when my second was born. That was “2 under 2”. And it was AWESOME, and still is for many reasons. I was glad my oldest wasn’t yet 2.
24 months is a very common age gap. There can be difficulties or not.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 17:25
Subject: Two under 2
There are levels of easier. I think it got a bit harder when my youngest became mobile (walking at 9 months!) and then got easier when the youngest was around 18 months and they would play together for a stretch of time. Now at 2.5 and 4 we still have our hard days but it's worlds easier. I'm at a point where if I wanted another baby (I don't) I think I could handle the pregnancy and newborn phase again.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 11:48
Subject: Re:Two under 2
My three are each two years apart and it’s been fine even though it’s always chaotic. They play very well together and that’s been wonderful given they haven’t been able to play with their friends in five months.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 11:45
Subject: Two under 2
Mine are 15 months apart and I love it, and they're 19 months and 4 months currently so I'm still in the trenches.
Hard parts:
-physical logistics. If we are downstairs and I need to take one upstairs for a diaper change we all need to go, so I either carry both (hard) or make two trips
-when they're both crying and need me at the same time, it kills me to have to prioritize one over the other
-I do feel like I'm missing out on certain parts of their babyhood because I'm focused on two at once
-DIAPERS
Tips:
-fully baby/toddler proof your house so you're comfortable leaving one alone for a bit to attend to the other
-more than once diaper changing station
-potty train the older one as soon as you can
-wear the baby as much as possible
-get them on the same bedtime routine early
Hard parts:
-physical logistics. If we are downstairs and I need to take one upstairs for a diaper change we all need to go, so I either carry both (hard) or make two trips
-when they're both crying and need me at the same time, it kills me to have to prioritize one over the other
-I do feel like I'm missing out on certain parts of their babyhood because I'm focused on two at once
-DIAPERS
Tips:
-fully baby/toddler proof your house so you're comfortable leaving one alone for a bit to attend to the other
-more than once diaper changing station
-potty train the older one as soon as you can
-wear the baby as much as possible
-get them on the same bedtime routine early
Anonymous
08/26/2020 11:27
Subject: Two under 2
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had a similar spread - 25 months. It was great.
Mine are 26 months apart. I can't lie, it was HARD. I think a lot depends on the temperament of your older child, which you have probably just only started to get to know. It turns out mine is pretty emotionally intense! She was a very easy infant and 1 year old. But oh hell, after turning 2 (while I was 8 months pregnant) the wheels really fell off. Of course, I can't know how much of this was just *her* and how much was her emotional reaction to a new sibling. She got VERY hard right as we had the new baby.
I'd say it was like that until she turned 4, so almost 2 years. Of course not ALL hard, there was plenty of wonderful in there too. But I was bone tired exhausted. I didn't even realize how tired I was at the time.
But now? Now it's pretty awesome. They are 3 and 5 during this pandemic, which are pretty good ages for staying home with your parents. They can watch tv, they are pretty easily entertained, and they sort of thrive on boredom in a positive way. It's still hard for sure, but a much more manageable hard than the first 2 years.
Mine are 23 months apart and 4 and 6 now I'd say the same thing. It was incredibly difficult for the first couple of years just on every aspect of my life - my job, my marriage, my health. It was much harder than the transition to parenthood. But then it got easier, and now they're good playmates for each other and they're more independent, and I'm glad we had them close together. (But I do wonder, if I'd had them further apart, if I'd be up for #3.)
Anonymous
08/26/2020 10:23
Subject: Two under 2
Anonymous wrote:I had a similar spread - 25 months. It was great.
Mine are 26 months apart. I can't lie, it was HARD. I think a lot depends on the temperament of your older child, which you have probably just only started to get to know. It turns out mine is pretty emotionally intense! She was a very easy infant and 1 year old. But oh hell, after turning 2 (while I was 8 months pregnant) the wheels really fell off. Of course, I can't know how much of this was just *her* and how much was her emotional reaction to a new sibling. She got VERY hard right as we had the new baby.
I'd say it was like that until she turned 4, so almost 2 years. Of course not ALL hard, there was plenty of wonderful in there too. But I was bone tired exhausted. I didn't even realize how tired I was at the time.
But now? Now it's pretty awesome. They are 3 and 5 during this pandemic, which are pretty good ages for staying home with your parents. They can watch tv, they are pretty easily entertained, and they sort of thrive on boredom in a positive way. It's still hard for sure, but a much more manageable hard than the first 2 years.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 10:17
Subject: Re:Two under 2
Our first two were 16 months apart and while it’s now just a blur our oldest was walking at less than a year which helped a bit. We hadn’t planned them to be so close but we had had a difficult time conceiving baby #1 so I hadn’t gone back on BC. I had a C-section with baby #1 and it took me a few months to fully recover by which point both of us were ready to roll and it didn’t take long to conceive.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 08:30
Subject: Two under 2
Mine are 2 years apart almost to the day (boy and girl). The youngest was an easy baby and great sleeper, so caveat with that. When she was about 6 months to 18 months was the hardest, because she would grab the oldest kid's toys and not be able to play. They turn 6 and 4 in December. It's super busy and often frustrating, but they get along well and play well together. They do fight for our attention so we need to make sure we give them individualized attention from time to time.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 07:57
Subject: Re:Two under 2
Adding on - mine are 21 mos apart and we’re through the thick of it now (14 mos and almost 3) with everyone sleeping through the night and the youngest on one nap. Those first 6 mons were absolutely brutal but that’s also a function of my children - my oldest was not very independent and somewhat clingy, and the youngest was pretty high maintenance. Until we sleep / nap trained things were rough and youngest hated the car / would not nap on the go. I’ve seen friends babies be totally portable (and my first would fall asleep anytime anywhere as long as he was in stroller or car) but my youngest would just scream.
You’ll survive- it’s hard but worth it. My two love each other more than anything else and it’s so cute now they can actually play together
You’ll survive- it’s hard but worth it. My two love each other more than anything else and it’s so cute now they can actually play together
Anonymous
08/26/2020 07:20
Subject: Re:Two under 2
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mine are twenty months apart. Things were very difficult for the first two years. No sleep, I felt like I was constantly needed, 2 in diapers is difficult. Potty training the older kid with a newborn is difficult. We did a lot of takeout.
But since the youngest was 2 it has been pretty awesome. They are each other’s best, best friends and I love their relationship.
Same here. I am a single mom and survived. It was exhausting, but we made it.
I am the PP you quoted. Hats off to you for doing this solo; I think I may not have made it!
Anonymous
08/26/2020 06:49
Subject: Re:Two under 2
Anonymous wrote:Mine are twenty months apart. Things were very difficult for the first two years. No sleep, I felt like I was constantly needed, 2 in diapers is difficult. Potty training the older kid with a newborn is difficult. We did a lot of takeout.
But since the youngest was 2 it has been pretty awesome. They are each other’s best, best friends and I love their relationship.
Same here. I am a single mom and survived. It was exhausting, but we made it.
Anonymous
08/26/2020 06:38
Subject: Two under 2
It'll be fine. My 21 months apart play together so nicely now that they're 3 and 4. I also have 1 year old and am due soon