I know someone who does this. It’s annoying and tacky.

This happened to me, friend of a friend gave me a bunch of hand me downs and then ask for them back because she was unexpectedly pregnant.

when people give me clothes I've just learned to ask if they actually want them back or not

Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt take clothes if someone wanted them back. I would ask her to come now and get the ones she wants back and just give them back now. Life is stressful enough without worrying about staining or damaging someone elses favorite clothing.

+1
I regularly sort out clothes that are outgrown and pack them by age for donating or passing along. I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart at that point.

I'd give the whole damn box/bag back.

Anonymous wrote:I would ljust give them back now...No need to keep track No worries about stains or tears.

This, which is why I never took them.

Agree with all the posters who said give them back now. I wouldn't want to deal with that.

You can find cheap clothes without any sort of strings attached elsewhere...facebook groups, consignment sales, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Give them back now. Unsorted. Too much work. I understand what they’re doing and it’s thoughtful but way too complicated.

THIS. In my experience people who say this really didn’t want to give you anything anyways. Save yourself the hassle of dealing with them when something gets ruined and, just give it all back now.

I had a situation where I sent my friend a bunch of clothes and never made it clear if I wanted them returned or not )I didn't). She ended up mailing a huge box back to me a year later with all the stuff plus some that must have been from someone else and most were stained and gross. THAT was weird.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please tell me if this is outrageous. Friends with an older baby offered some hand me down clothes. After the exchange the I got a text that some of the outfits have been labeled as favorites and I was asked to give them back when I was finished with them.

Lots of people do it. When mine were little, whenever I got hand me downs, I always let them know that while I appreciated the offer, I only wanted them if they didn't want them back because there was no way I could keep track.

This is so annoying. When I’ve given hand me downs I always make it very clear I do not want them back. I’ve had people loan me maternity and baby clothes and I find out after the fact they want them back, or someone else needs them. It’s more stressful to keep me track of what’s borrowed than actually useful to have the items. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please tell me if this is outrageous. Friends with an older baby offered some hand me down clothes. After the exchange the I got a text that some of the outfits have been labeled as favorites and I was asked to give them back when I was finished with them.

Asinine. I had twins and had lots of people giving me hand-me-downs. My best friend from work had garbage bags full of clothes she brought over when i got out of the hospital. I have insanity going on in my home as I have infants in the nicu and I was on bed rest from 20 weeks and hospitalized for weeks. People were very kindly dropping things. She dropped off the bags and told me her mother had gotten most of them from yard sales and some were hand me downs from her friends. She had so many clothes for her son that he never wore most of them. I didn't have things prepared for my kids because we didn't think they were going to make it. She knew all of this was going on and 2 years later starting asking about getting her stuff back. I had tried to return some of the stuff to her at their 1 year mark and she had no interest. Do people really think you remember which onsie was from their pile? I also had kind of the opposite happen. I had a neighbor who was having a grandchild who called dibs on certain items before my kids even got to wear them.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s weird... baby clothes can be sentimental and maybe she’s planning to have another child? If you’re worried about mixing them up with other clothes, maybe ask if you can label the tags or something. And just make sure it’s not the end of the world if one gets ruined by a blowout and doesn’t make it back despite your best effort. She’s had a baby too - I’m sure she would understand that you can’t always plan for everything! (Though if there are items she would be too upset to lose, then I agree, don’t even use those).

It’s not weird to have sentimental clothes, I just wouldn’t loan them out.

My SIL did this. She gave us specific instructions with how to wash and keep pristine all the items - clothes, toys, books, electric nail clipper, toddler dishes, etc. - and said she expected them all back for her future children and grandchildren. We just kept everything she gave us in boxes to return to her and pretended we used them. It wasn't worth the stress that an item got damaged.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not obnoxious but just give the favorites back with thanks. NBD.

Exactly. And NBD is the perfect attitude.

Congratulations on your new arrival!

Anonymous wrote:That's weird. Don't give hand-me-down's expecting them back. I say just tell her to keep the favorites.

Agree. I think So many people like the idea of giving, and helping out a friend. It seems nice on Pinterest and social media, but they don't actually have the aptitude for it.

OP, I would just give all the clothes back. Tell her you appreciate the gesture, but you found another solution.