Anonymous
Post 08/06/2020 19:09     Subject: Re:Rude or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:Rude for sure.

Was she at least apologetic?


Yeah, she said she was sorry and felt bad but it still struck me as kind of bizarre given the reasoning. I love my cousins (and have lent/borrowed and handed down baby items with them) but if one asked for something I had already lent out to someone else I’d without hesitation say, “oh shoot, we did have one but a friend is already borrowing it until we need it again. I still have X,Y and Z that we aren’t using if you’re in need of anything else!” So I was just curious if other people had strong “cousins come first!” feelings.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2020 14:32     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
I think it’s annoying, but certainly not enough to get bent out of shape enough to lose sleep over.

I guess it’s me, but I don’t understand using Someone else’s item for a full year. A few weeks until you source something that you can keep, Sure, but a year makes it pretty much a Permanent fixture. For me, I would have bought the cheaper replacement when I saw it, even though I had borrowed hers to get me through a short time.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2020 12:12     Subject: Re:Rude or reasonable?
Rude for sure.

Was she at least apologetic?
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2020 09:18     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what the item is!! (Esp since you’re not a FTM)


OP here. I didn’t want the post to get bogged down by irrelevant details but it’s just a specific style of play yard that can gate an awkward space. We moved into a new house last year that has a short staircase off our main living room adjacent to a fireplace that proved nearly impossible to gate. Our older child wasn’t yet 2 when we moved in but could navigate it easily so we didn’t worry about it until baby #2 became mobile and decided throwing himself down the stairs was his life goal. I posted a message to my playgroup asking for ideas since we couldn’t find a traditional gate that worked and this mom offered a play yard that was sitting unused in her garage and it turned out to be perfect for us—it could be disassembled and configured in an “L shape with a hook” around the open area, had a gate exactly where we needed it and was tall and sleek enough that my older child (also a feral monster) couldn’t climb it. I can’t find an exact match anymore but just ordered something similar for $120 on Amazon and am hoping it will work. Not the end of the world but it was a bummer to be scrambling for something and to pay more than we wanted to.

Oh, and the cousin wanted it because she just put in an in-ground pool and has a young toddler. (Totally valid reason to want a play yard...but installing a pool takes time and money so not exactly urgent/unexpected or due to financial difficulties as suggested but it’s clearly not my call.)


How small is their pool?!? Or how big is this gate? Seems very odd that something that would work in your house would also be large enough for a pool. I’m any event, she was rude, and I think she’s shown you her true colors so just don’t forget that.
Anonymous
Post 08/06/2020 00:00     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what the item is!! (Esp since you’re not a FTM)


OP here. I didn’t want the post to get bogged down by irrelevant details but it’s just a specific style of play yard that can gate an awkward space. We moved into a new house last year that has a short staircase off our main living room adjacent to a fireplace that proved nearly impossible to gate. Our older child wasn’t yet 2 when we moved in but could navigate it easily so we didn’t worry about it until baby #2 became mobile and decided throwing himself down the stairs was his life goal. I posted a message to my playgroup asking for ideas since we couldn’t find a traditional gate that worked and this mom offered a play yard that was sitting unused in her garage and it turned out to be perfect for us—it could be disassembled and configured in an “L shape with a hook” around the open area, had a gate exactly where we needed it and was tall and sleek enough that my older child (also a feral monster) couldn’t climb it. I can’t find an exact match anymore but just ordered something similar for $120 on Amazon and am hoping it will work. Not the end of the world but it was a bummer to be scrambling for something and to pay more than we wanted to.

Oh, and the cousin wanted it because she just put in an in-ground pool and has a young toddler. (Totally valid reason to want a play yard...but installing a pool takes time and money so not exactly urgent/unexpected or due to financial difficulties as suggested but it’s clearly not my call.)
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2020 22:58     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
Rude! And this is one of many reasons I never borrow.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2020 22:49     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She knew her cousin had a toddler before she gave it to you.



But she may not have known her cousin would lose her job and be financially strapped unable to buy it. She may not have known the cousin was borrowing item from a friend who now needed it back. She may not have known the cousin would get divorced and she needed an item for her house since ex has other. She may not have known toddler's physical therapy progressed better than expected and she can now use item.


Agreed. I expect there’s a Situation that she can’t tell you about. Minor annoyance in the scheme of things. Unless you recently turned down a free copy of the item, you still benefited from the loan. You got the use of the item, were able to determine if you really need to shell out for it, if you like this brand, etc. Now go on Facebook Marketplace. I am sure someone is selling one of whatever she loaned you.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2020 21:56     Subject: Re:Rude or reasonable?
Very rude. Drop it off on her front step without a note. I would not reach out to her again.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2020 21:37     Subject: Rude or reasonable?
Op, it wasn't going to end well. Now you know this arrangement wasn't going to end well. Better to have it over. Otherwise something would make this awkward ~ damage or worn out, or something.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2020 20:50     Subject: Re:Rude or reasonable?
Probably something stupid like a bumbo seat