Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That title is one huge grammatical error.

I think most of us noticed, but up until now everyone had tact.

OP here, that's ok. I know the drill if I post to DCUM. Mostly thoughtful answers mixed in with some trolling. The good outweighs the bad. It would be like living in the Upsidedown if I got all kind replies on DCUM

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you sent it, OP. I can't believe how many poorly adjusted, paranoid, nasty people with no social skills told you not to!

I agree! So suspicious and malicious. They would have bad intentions if they sent note, so all people who do so must have same.

Anonymous wrote:That title is one huge grammatical error.

I think most of us noticed, but up until now everyone had tact.

Anonymous wrote:That title is one huge grammatical error.

How shallow of you to only mention grammar.

I'm glad you sent it, OP. I can't believe how many poorly adjusted, paranoid, nasty people with no social skills told you not to!

That title is one huge grammatical error.

Anonymous wrote:No. Leave it alone.

Agree.

OP only write a condolence email if you didn't cause him pain when you broke up. If you did cause him pain, please don't do it.

My father died suddenly and my ex (7 years, co-habiting, ended terribly with him hurting me) got in contact. I know it was kind but it was like a double dose of pain - old and new.

I would definitely send a letter and reach out to him

I also vote for
Leaving alone. Your ex may not even have mentioned you to his new spouse if he has one. If you had been hanging around with the mom much after the breakup. That is a different story
Her kindness was probably also extended because you could be potentially daughter in law. If your relationship with her ended when you guys broke up, it is an end of a good situation with the family. So my suggestion is stay out.

Guy here - when my mother died I received a notes from a few ex GF’s that I greatly appreciated. My mom always got along very well with my ex’s. It was me that was the problem!

I would.

I did, when my ex's mom died.

DH and his ex had been divorced for over 15yrs when his mom died and to this day do not have a good relationship. She sent flowers. It surprised us all but was a thoughtful gesture.


Agree with 8:15. Short note, signed from you and your family.

Thanks everyone. I ended up sending the email. No reply, but I'm glad I got the nice memories of her on paper. It helped me grieve her a little too. My own mom died when I was in my 20s so this lady was the first mother figure I had after my mom died.

And yeah, if the shoe were on the other foot, as a PP had mentioned, I wouldn't be mad that an ex reached out, I would be grateful that someone cared enough about my mom to send a memory and bring her back to me, if only for a little bit.