Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

The problem is that our rhetoric minimizes the role that some dads do play. Group statistics are good for making policy but really not good for shoving in the face of an individual who may be sacrificing as a dad. It is needlessly divisive and the evidence for that is how every time a dad asks to be seen individually as sacrificing for his family he is quickly put in his place and shamed for wanting to be heard.

Why not just embrace every parent who sacrifices for their family while at the same time understanding the statistical imbalance? The pp even acknowledged that but still got minimized. Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.

And by the way, the reasons for that go beyond specific.couples' choices. It is structural. Women get paid less, sometimes for doing the same job, sometimes because the professions dominated by women are paid less than those dominated by men (compare firefighter compensation, for example, including overtime, for a job that does not require a college degree, to compensation for teachers, many of whom have master's degrees and do not get overtime pay despite not only working long hours but also paying for supplies out of their own pockets).

So on balance women get paid less. Couples then make the logical choice for the woman to sacrifice her career when they can't find or can't afford child care. You're not a hero for not forcing your wife to give up her career just because she's a woman. You're just not an a-hole. Congratulations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these make me think my kids are difficult. I have a 5 and 3 year old. I was about to have a nervous breakdown 1 week into closure. After 3 months our daycare opened. I sent them back day 1 and felt terrible when I learned how many parents were managing just fine at home. I have a pretty flexible job, so it wasn’t really that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. Good to hear that there may be spots. Maybe we should just see what's out there. Also agree that we'd probably assume we have COVID at all times if DS was back in group care. I've never been sicker than his first year at daycare with all the random things he brought home, so it's hard for me to imagine a scenario where COVID wouldn't, at some point, spread through a daycare and home. But as others said, that may be the cost of doing business. Hard choices all around.

Mine has been open for a month and has had one case (in a child, no symptoms while in care, parent noticed symptoms in the evening and took the child to be tested). Only that classroom was closed, and there were no additional cases that stemmed from that one case.

Anonymous wrote:Posts like these make me think my kids are difficult. I have a 5 and 3 year old. I was about to have a nervous breakdown 1 week into closure. After 3 months our daycare opened. I sent them back day 1 and felt terrible when I learned how many parents were managing just fine at home. I have a pretty flexible job, so it wasn’t really that.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like a lot of centers are opening back up. Ours is opening next week. We'll pay to hold the spot for August, and maybe September while we figure out what to do.

If my older one can't go to school in person, I'll need to rely on my mother for help with childcare and/or online school. So if the elementary aged kid is going to be home, it doesn't make sense to send my younger one in person and then have to cut off our main family support. So we may look at leaning on my mom and maybe hiring another babysitter to help with my 3 year old/online school to keep our risks low.

We just aren't sure yet, but I don't want to lose our spot because we may want to use it.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like a lot of centers are opening back up. Ours is opening next week. We'll pay to hold the spot for August, and maybe September while we figure out what to do.

If my older one can't go to school in person, I'll need to rely on my mother for help with childcare and/or online school. So if the elementary aged kid is going to be home, it doesn't make sense to send my younger one in person and then have to cut off our main family support. So we may look at leaning on my mom and maybe hiring another babysitter to help with my 3 year old/online school to keep our risks low.

We just aren't sure yet, but I don't want to lose our spot because we may want to use it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours has been going for a few weeks now. Sounds like they're full now (with reduced capacity, that seemed inevitable). My wife's workload got insane once quarantine hit, so she hunkered down in our office and was knocking out solid says. While my job is more flexible and I can work odd hours to get my things done, it was beginning to impact my work quality with so many projects + toddler time. With ours going to a new daycare/preschool, it's lessened the pressure on everyone, and the mood is certainly brighter around our house.

So yes, dads do sacrifice too, so hop off your horse about it being only moms. I'm sure if you poll the nation, it sadly probably is more moms than dads though

There are numerous robust surveys that show that lack of access to child care (pre Covid and during Covid) impacts women's workforce participation far, far more than men's. While of course some men are impacted, it's absolutely accurate that women by and large bear the burden.