Anonymous
07/23/2020 13:28
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you even a parent? Your last question is weird.
Yep, the last question is weird. Unless your child is Hitler or Osama bin Laden, why would you want to erase your child's existence?
OP here. Sorry, I was not clear. I did not mean change something about the children you got, but rather would you space them out differently or have more kids. We have 2 DDs, ages 4 and 7, and I'm debating a 3rd. I am also in my 40s. I love the idea of 3 sisters (obviously no guarantees), albeit mine have/would have a larger spacing than what seems to be common these days. I like spacing so I can dedicate alone time and attention to each child. I don't want to have 3 needy little children at the same time or 3 teens (when I am in my 50s!) or an empty nest in the span of 2-3 years. Both DH and I are from a family of 2. He is not crazy about the idea of another but could be convinced I guess.
From my sample size of my friend group, all of them who had two girls and then had a third ended up with a boy. All of them!
Anonymous
07/23/2020 12:36
Subject: How many children do you have?
13 yo DD and 4 yo DD. I did not plan for a teen and a toddler but fertility and illness had other plans... I am on the fence of being happy. Sometimes I like it as I do not have two needy toddlers. My toddler has a strong personality and my teen does not. They do not get along at all. I wish I had one more child that was 2 yo for the toddler to lord over rather than boss us around and be a menace to but, right now her dolly is sufficient for buffering us from her ẗyrannical ways.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 23:36
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are you even a parent? Your last question is weird.
Yep, the last question is weird. Unless your child is Hitler or Osama bin Laden, why would you want to erase your child's existence?
OP here. Sorry, I was not clear. I did not mean change something about the children you got, but rather would you space them out differently or have more kids. We have 2 DDs, ages 4 and 7, and I'm debating a 3rd. I am also in my 40s. I love the idea of 3 sisters (obviously no guarantees), albeit mine have/would have a larger spacing than what seems to be common these days. I like spacing so I can dedicate alone time and attention to each child. I don't want to have 3 needy little children at the same time or 3 teens (when I am in my 50s!) or an empty nest in the span of 2-3 years. Both DH and I are from a family of 2. He is not crazy about the idea of another but could be convinced I guess.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 22:41
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two kids, 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl (27 months apart, to be exact). Very happy but would have loved to have one more if my spouse was on board. ideally I would’ve wanted the 2nd and theoretical 3rd child to also be 2 years apart so our 3rd child would be 1 at this point. Still want another even though if I got pregnant right now, our other kids would be 6 and 4 when the 3rd was born. I imagine by the time our kids are 7 and 5 I won’t want a 3rd anymore bc the age gaps then would be too great. So it probably won’t happen but I have about 2 years to hope my spouse changes his mind
I notice people here have a weird hang up on age gaps. My kids are 8 and 2, they get along great. Several of my friends have 5+ age gaps and all seem happy with the spread. Yes, greater gap makes the relationship different but not necessarily bad, not at all.
Well, that may be but a lot of people are not just thinking about the relationship between their kids w a large gap but about the logistics (it’s much easier, for instance, if your kids are close enough in age to attend the same school and can do/enjoy the same/similar activities) plus lots of people have kids later in life so the large gap also means the parents are much older by the time the younger kid(s) are born.
That makes sense, it actually worked surprisingly well logistics-wise too, but I see your point.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 22:37
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two kids, 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl (27 months apart, to be exact). Very happy but would have loved to have one more if my spouse was on board. ideally I would’ve wanted the 2nd and theoretical 3rd child to also be 2 years apart so our 3rd child would be 1 at this point. Still want another even though if I got pregnant right now, our other kids would be 6 and 4 when the 3rd was born. I imagine by the time our kids are 7 and 5 I won’t want a 3rd anymore bc the age gaps then would be too great. So it probably won’t happen but I have about 2 years to hope my spouse changes his mind
I notice people here have a weird hang up on age gaps. My kids are 8 and 2, they get along great. Several of my friends have 5+ age gaps and all seem happy with the spread. Yes, greater gap makes the relationship different but not necessarily bad, not at all.
Well, that may be but a lot of people are not just thinking about the relationship between their kids w a large gap but about the logistics (it’s much easier, for instance, if your kids are close enough in age to attend the same school and can do/enjoy the same/similar activities) plus lots of people have kids later in life so the large gap also means the parents are much older by the time the younger kid(s) are born.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 22:26
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
We have 3 and soon to be 4. Boy, girl, girl, boy. All 2-3 years apart. I love having 3 so I hope I will love having 4! Life is crazy but I can’t imagine my life without any of them - their personalities were innate and they’re all so different.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 22:20
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Two kids, 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl (27 months apart, to be exact). Very happy but would have loved to have one more if my spouse was on board. ideally I would’ve wanted the 2nd and theoretical 3rd child to also be 2 years apart so our 3rd child would be 1 at this point. Still want another even though if I got pregnant right now, our other kids would be 6 and 4 when the 3rd was born. I imagine by the time our kids are 7 and 5 I won’t want a 3rd anymore bc the age gaps then would be too great. So it probably won’t happen but I have about 2 years to hope my spouse changes his mind
I notice people here have a weird hang up on age gaps. My kids are 8 and 2, they get along great. Several of my friends have 5+ age gaps and all seem happy with the spread. Yes, greater gap makes the relationship different but not necessarily bad, not at all.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 22:12
Subject: How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:0 and I am very happy. Especially during the pandemic.
What are you doing here? Are you sure you’re happy being childless?
+1
DCUM is intended for parents. Go post on Reddit.
I have 2 kids: 11 months and 5 years. Great spacing and wouldn’t change a thing. My husband is like my third child...
Anonymous
07/22/2020 21:55
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Girl 8 yrs and boy 1 yr. I was really worried about the gap but it took awhile for our second. It all turned out for the best. I can dedicate more time for my younger as my older is self-sufficient. My girl does act like a second mom though and I’m constantly reminding her she’s his sister not his mom. Haha. I think sometimes we worry about our choices but instead be thankful for what we have
Anonymous
07/22/2020 21:53
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
We have 5 (3 boys and 2 girls) I love all of the loud,chaotic, busy, awesomeness that is our day to day life.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 21:47
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:I have one boy. I love having a boy. I love having a child! I had fertility issues, and this child came when I was 40. It feels like an embarrassment of riches, to have this one boy. So I am very happy. I occasionally wonder what might have been, had I gotten it going earlier in my life. But I am happy with what I have, my DH, my child, our overall comfortable situation, and you know there is no going back without changing it all up.
That is beautiful.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 21:46
Subject: How many children do you have?
Anonymous wrote:Are you happy with the number, spacing and gender(s) you ended up with? If you could go back and change things, would you?
I gave birth to two girls, very widely spaced, not my choice. I had a loss in between. I always thought I was supposed to have more, but I came to peace. I divorced and married a man who raised his stepson from his first marriage. Then we had two young adults and my younger kid. Last month, we took in a young relative whose previous guardian was too elderly to care for him anymore. It quickly has become obvious that he just fits. So now, I think of us as a family of six.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 21:40
Subject: Re:How many children do you have?
I have one boy. I love having a boy. I love having a child! I had fertility issues, and this child came when I was 40. It feels like an embarrassment of riches, to have this one boy. So I am very happy. I occasionally wonder what might have been, had I gotten it going earlier in my life. But I am happy with what I have, my DH, my child, our overall comfortable situation, and you know there is no going back without changing it all up.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 13:55
Subject: How many children do you have?
One girl. Love her to pieces, sometimes wonder about what it would have been like to have another, but no actual regrets.
Anonymous
07/22/2020 13:42
Subject: How many children do you have?
I have three boys, who are all very close with each other. I always wanted and planned for four, but my husband felt like three was enough. I think I would have loved a fourth, but am very content with my three and wouldn’t change a thing. Love the spacing we did!