Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 09:56     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:Check her vision again. She might have depth perception issues.


Yes, this was me. I developed strabismus (commonly referred to as lazy eye) in my teen years. It was subtle--not really apparent looking at me because the weak eye wasn't turning inward or outward. Was wearing glasses and both eyes had lenses that corrected me to 20/20, but I wasn't actually using both eyes simultaneously--therefore no depth perception.

Worth checking out, OP.

Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 09:25     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:Still teaching my 18 yr old how to drive. Expensive lessons for years are getting us nowhere. Should I get my dc tested for learning disabilities? Before you act like an ass, my dc has pretty much every other life skill you can imagine. Dc simply cannot parallel park or drive on busy roads. Permit is about to expire for the second time (had to be renewed). Dc has not taken the driver's test yet. dc desperately wants to become a licensed driver and their quality of life has declined (We are in an area with no public transportation). What are kid's options? Any online drivers ed courses (to take again?)?


Two pairs of really good walking shoes would be cheaper than a starter BMW. If they get liquored up on a Friday night and crash into the Old Oak Tree at Deadman's Curve the only thing to be injured will be their dignity. Count your blessings.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 08:16     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm in CA and to get your license, they don't require parallel parking anymore. It's too difficult for some people, period. The idea is that if you can't do it, there is never a situation where you HAVE to do it; you may be late for a meeting or ten in your life because you can't find a non-parallel parking spot, but it isn't endangering anyone if you can't do it.

I know a very intelligent guy with an MD from Harvard and he ubers everywhere, or has paid someone to drive him. He says he hates driving, and is not good at it. He grew up in CA so it wasn't like he was an NYC guy who never learned until he was 30...he learned at 15 like the rest of us.


Interesting! Makes sense, I guess. I took my test in NY and you had to paralell park downwards on a hill, in between two closely parked cars, against a wall. You tab the curb, the wall, or obviously a car and you are OUT. I'm an excellent parallel parker to this day, but it blew my mind there were people from other states who had taken driving tests in parking lots and couldn't parallel park at all even without the obstacle course of a parallel park (cars, hill, wall, etc.)


I also took my test in NY and failed twice because of parallel parking. Could drive just fine and felt it was very unfair. When second failing instructor told me it was important and asked what I expected I would do as a licensed driver who couldn't parallel park, my answer was simple - I'll just find somewhere else to park! Finally managed to pass the parking on the third try and to this day, I almost never parallel park, and when I do, it's never between two cars. I'll admit I've gotten better since I have a backup camera, but I don't think one's ability to parallel park defines one's ability as a driver. As for the issue with busy roads, that sounds more like anxiety to me...

Also a former NYer. Failed the first two times and on the third try went to a different test site where, it turns out, they had soft curbs, so even if you bumped them, it was hard to tell. Finally passed. In the 13 years since, I’ve parallel parked exactly one time.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 07:48     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm in CA and to get your license, they don't require parallel parking anymore. It's too difficult for some people, period. The idea is that if you can't do it, there is never a situation where you HAVE to do it; you may be late for a meeting or ten in your life because you can't find a non-parallel parking spot, but it isn't endangering anyone if you can't do it.

I know a very intelligent guy with an MD from Harvard and he ubers everywhere, or has paid someone to drive him. He says he hates driving, and is not good at it. He grew up in CA so it wasn't like he was an NYC guy who never learned until he was 30...he learned at 15 like the rest of us.


Interesting! Makes sense, I guess. I took my test in NY and you had to paralell park downwards on a hill, in between two closely parked cars, against a wall. You tab the curb, the wall, or obviously a car and you are OUT. I'm an excellent parallel parker to this day, but it blew my mind there were people from other states who had taken driving tests in parking lots and couldn't parallel park at all even without the obstacle course of a parallel park (cars, hill, wall, etc.)


I also took my test in NY and failed twice because of parallel parking. Could drive just fine and felt it was very unfair. When second failing instructor told me it was important and asked what I expected I would do as a licensed driver who couldn't parallel park, my answer was simple - I'll just find somewhere else to park! Finally managed to pass the parking on the third try and to this day, I almost never parallel park, and when I do, it's never between two cars. I'll admit I've gotten better since I have a backup camera, but I don't think one's ability to parallel park defines one's ability as a driver. As for the issue with busy roads, that sounds more like anxiety to me...

I’m OP. We’re in Pa if that matters. Dc actually practiced with me last night and improved a little (parallel parking). I can’t believe a driving test would use actual cars to park between ?!?
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 07:45     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm in CA and to get your license, they don't require parallel parking anymore. It's too difficult for some people, period. The idea is that if you can't do it, there is never a situation where you HAVE to do it; you may be late for a meeting or ten in your life because you can't find a non-parallel parking spot, but it isn't endangering anyone if you can't do it.

I know a very intelligent guy with an MD from Harvard and he ubers everywhere, or has paid someone to drive him. He says he hates driving, and is not good at it. He grew up in CA so it wasn't like he was an NYC guy who never learned until he was 30...he learned at 15 like the rest of us.


Interesting! Makes sense, I guess. I took my test in NY and you had to paralell park downwards on a hill, in between two closely parked cars, against a wall. You tab the curb, the wall, or obviously a car and you are OUT. I'm an excellent parallel parker to this day, but it blew my mind there were people from other states who had taken driving tests in parking lots and couldn't parallel park at all even without the obstacle course of a parallel park (cars, hill, wall, etc.)


I also took my test in NY and failed twice because of parallel parking. Could drive just fine and felt it was very unfair. When second failing instructor told me it was important and asked what I expected I would do as a licensed driver who couldn't parallel park, my answer was simple - I'll just find somewhere else to park! Finally managed to pass the parking on the third try and to this day, I almost never parallel park, and when I do, it's never between two cars. I'll admit I've gotten better since I have a backup camera, but I don't think one's ability to parallel park defines one's ability as a driver. As for the issue with busy roads, that sounds more like anxiety to me...
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 03:39     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Still teaching my 18 yr old how to drive. Expensive lessons for years are getting us nowhere. Should I get my dc tested for learning disabilities? Before you act like an ass, my dc has pretty much every other life skill you can imagine. Dc simply cannot parallel park or drive on busy roads. Permit is about to expire for the second time (had to be renewed). Dc has not taken the driver's test yet. dc desperately wants to become a licensed driver and their quality of life has declined (We are in an area with no public transportation). What are kid's options? Any online drivers ed courses (to take again?)?


What's the rush? I pushed my 18 yo DS to get his license, and the next day he totaled the car.




Normally I agree with you, but it seems that the no DL is negatively impacting his life on several fronts.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 03:37     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:Still teaching my 18 yr old how to drive. Expensive lessons for years are getting us nowhere. Should I get my dc tested for learning disabilities? Before you act like an ass, my dc has pretty much every other life skill you can imagine. Dc simply cannot parallel park or drive on busy roads. Permit is about to expire for the second time (had to be renewed). Dc has not taken the driver's test yet. dc desperately wants to become a licensed driver and their quality of life has declined (We are in an area with no public transportation). What are kid's options? Any online drivers ed courses (to take again?)?


What's the rush? I pushed my 18 yo DS to get his license, and the next day he totaled the car.


Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 02:36     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
I have severe adhd, anxiety and poor spatial awareness and I knew driving would be hard for me, so I didn’t even want to try. My dad didn’t give me that option, he worked with me every day for a couple months and I passed on the first try at 17. I do avoid parallel parking but I’m now 32 and have never been in an accident and have zero anxiety when I drive.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 02:28     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Is your child in college? Reaching out to a therapist may help. If they are already anxious, the fear of feeling like they can't do it or will never be able to do it only makes the anxiety worse.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 02:20     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:I am curious when you let your child sit in the front passenger seat. I let my kids sit up with me when they were 8 or 9. Now my oldest is a really good driver. I think from being up front, and sometimes being my navigator. Even my 13 year old was able to drive slowly on my in laws ranch in the spring.

I ask because my sister didn't let her kids sit up front until they were 14. By then they preferred to just keep sitting in back. Neither of her kids can drive now at 18 and 20. I think they never got exposed to driving and judging traffic. My 13 year old for years has been telling me when it is safe to merge on his side.


Maybe that was before safety standards? CDC and NHTSA both advise 13 and over can ride in front as long as they are 4'9" and over. No way an 8 or 9 year old should be up front.

I do believe that some people are more passive passengers than others. When I'm a passenger my brain turns off and I don't notice a thing/where I am. Only experience and having to be a copilot as you get older helps you step out of the passenger role.

OP I think more and different lessons would help. Having said that, I'd just have the kid take the test and see. Having a DL doesn't mean they would ever have to drive- except when they are geriatric and need to retake the test.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 01:54     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:I'm in CA and to get your license, they don't require parallel parking anymore. It's too difficult for some people, period. The idea is that if you can't do it, there is never a situation where you HAVE to do it; you may be late for a meeting or ten in your life because you can't find a non-parallel parking spot, but it isn't endangering anyone if you can't do it.

I know a very intelligent guy with an MD from Harvard and he ubers everywhere, or has paid someone to drive him. He says he hates driving, and is not good at it. He grew up in CA so it wasn't like he was an NYC guy who never learned until he was 30...he learned at 15 like the rest of us.


Interesting! Makes sense, I guess. I took my test in NY and you had to paralell park downwards on a hill, in between two closely parked cars, against a wall. You tab the curb, the wall, or obviously a car and you are OUT. I'm an excellent parallel parker to this day, but it blew my mind there were people from other states who had taken driving tests in parking lots and couldn't parallel park at all even without the obstacle course of a parallel park (cars, hill, wall, etc.)
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 01:41     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
I'm in CA and to get your license, they don't require parallel parking anymore. It's too difficult for some people, period. The idea is that if you can't do it, there is never a situation where you HAVE to do it; you may be late for a meeting or ten in your life because you can't find a non-parallel parking spot, but it isn't endangering anyone if you can't do it.

I know a very intelligent guy with an MD from Harvard and he ubers everywhere, or has paid someone to drive him. He says he hates driving, and is not good at it. He grew up in CA so it wasn't like he was an NYC guy who never learned until he was 30...he learned at 15 like the rest of us.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 01:31     Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
I am curious when you let your child sit in the front passenger seat. I let my kids sit up with me when they were 8 or 9. Now my oldest is a really good driver. I think from being up front, and sometimes being my navigator. Even my 13 year old was able to drive slowly on my in laws ranch in the spring.

I ask because my sister didn't let her kids sit up front until they were 14. By then they preferred to just keep sitting in back. Neither of her kids can drive now at 18 and 20. I think they never got exposed to driving and judging traffic. My 13 year old for years has been telling me when it is safe to merge on his side.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2020 00:48     Subject: Re:What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Maybe a different environment might help? Learning how to drive a car in a controlled environment like a race track might increase his confidence. Most race tracks have courses for your average schlep, so it's not like you are qualifying for an Indy race. It's a good way to learn how your vehicle responds to input, and it is much safer than being on the road.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 21:43     Subject: Re:What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
I agree this doesn’t correlate to intelligence...and it’s kind of awful (for your child) that you think it does