He sounds jealous/craving for attention. Is your DD the favorite?

Its a parenting issue. You allow it and ignore. You clearly prefer the 14 year old if you allow your daughter to be treated this way.

Anonymous wrote:a 14 yr old boy crying because he did not win a cooking contest with his sister sounds like a spoiled brat that no one is going to like. Fix it before it is too late.

I’m seriously having a hard time imagining a neurotypical child over the age of 5 crying over this. Something is way off.

a 14 yr old boy crying because he did not win a cooking contest with his sister sounds like a spoiled brat that no one is going to like. Fix it before it is too late.

Anonymous wrote:The real question should be why isn't older daughter beating the crap out of him?

I know the why! While mom feels squeamish about telling her son to stop harassing his sister, I have a feeling she would come down hard on her daughter defending herself against mom’s precious baby boy.

Ugh. Not only is OP raising a jerk, she’s also destroying her children’s sibling relationship.

He’s a teen and he’s pushing boundaries (much like toddlers.) He’s trying to see what he can get away with and asserting his independence. You’re teaching your son that it’s okay to trash talk his sister in your presence. That’s terrible parenting.

Anonymous wrote:What matters is how your DD feels about it. Is she bothered by the rudeness at all or does she brush it off as juvenile back-chat?

Because there is a reason young teen brothers and sisters find each other revolting and its important - its nature's way of avoiding incest. It really is. And that is fine.

wtf? I have a DS and DD, teens, and while they sometimes fight and can be mean to each other, they don't put each other down this way. One time they did, and I shut that sh1t down fast. I also have an older brother and older sister, and they didn't behave this way. My DH has a much older sister, and they weren't this way. Are you saying that there was some incestuous feelings? This is some crap Freudian BS.

No OP, the way your teen DS is behaving isn't normal. It's over the top. Of course, there will always be some friction between siblings, but if it's that negative, then something is wrong with your DS.

I know a teen DS who was a real sh1t to his sister (though younger), and the sister ended up having some issues because of how mean he was to her. IMO, he was jealous that the baby in the family took attention away from him. Now, I realize that this situation is the reverse -- younger sibling being the ahole -- but there has to be some underlying reason why he's such a sh1t to her all the time. I would especially focus on him being upset that she "won" the cooking competition, or whatever it was. Why did he think he "deserved" to win?

Who has a cooking competition? Stop with the competitive atmosphere in your home.

Just the fact that you posted this question, shows you already know it’s not normal. It’s not developmentally appropriate for a teen boy to have a meltdown. It’s just not. It’s also terrible parenting for you to allow him to harass his sister. You’re basically making a decision to raise an a$$hole.

Step up already! Be the parent.

This is how so many men grow up to be sh!t bags!

Congratulations, OP. You are raising a future wife beater.

I would stop with reminders to be respectful, and start giving consequences so that he sees that unkind or disrespectful behavior is not tolerated.

I’m not trying to sound accusatory or overly harsh here, because I don’t think what’s happenings is awful, but it’s not okay. By not giving consequences, you teach both children that the behavior is acceptable—you teach your son that he can be disrespectful to others, specifically women, and you teach your daughter that it is okay for people to treat her that way, as long as reminders are given (but not heeded). You can course correct now.

I’m the PP from upthread who is facing the exact same issue as OP. My husband defends my son no matter what so it’s been brutal.

Anonymous wrote:If my 14y wasn't medicated for his ADHD, this is the crap he would say/do. Thankfully, he is medicated and he acts like a typically 14y old (sleeping late, mubbly, mildly helpful) but not a jerk.

My son is 15 and if he forgets to take his pill, I can tell within a minute. He acts like an ass with no filter. Kind of like Donald Trump when I think of it. He rarely forgets his pill but he did one day last week and the only solution was to make him take a walk and then go to bed.

My brother teased me about everything under the sun including weight, bad acne, etc. He was immature and bored and forced to be around me too much. This was back in the day when kid’s summers looked a lot like summer this year. We belonged to the pool but we didn’t do too much. He picked on me. He is an adult and he no longer acts like this at all towards anyone. Put him in his place whenever he does this but he doesn’t need counseling. He needs to grow up and he will.

If my 14y wasn't medicated for his ADHD, this is the crap he would say/do. Thankfully, he is medicated and he acts like a typically 14y old (sleeping late, mubbly, mildly helpful) but not a jerk.