This reminds me of a study asking people if leaving a child alone at home for a couple of hours was moral and whether it was safe, varying the circumstances.

Obviously many more people thought it was more morally acceptable to leave them alone if a single parent had to work, or in an emergency, etc., than if the parent was going off on a non-essential errand or to meet a lover. But what was interesting was that they also rated the child left alone in more morally acceptable circumstances as *safer*.

A 6-year-old home alone for 2 hours is just as safe or unsafe if the parent leaves for work as if they leave to get a pedicure. But people considering the former admit to themselves the child will probably be okay, if it's really necessary. And in the latter, they think of all the dangerous things the kid can get into when left alone "for no good reason."

But, like... they're all as safe or unsafe as any other kid at home for the same length of time, all else being equal.

It's the same for this. A kid getting 4 hours of screen time because the parent feels like watching their own program on Netflix in another room is getting the same effect from screen time as if the parent has critical work to do in the other room. Some people in the work situation with the pandemic decide that, hey, actually 4 hours is fine and has always been fine under any circumstance, they were just too uptight before. Some people think, actually, it's always kind of unhealthy, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and hopefully this is temporary.

But to think it's unhealthy in one circumstance and not the other (assuming the period of weeks or months is equal)... that may feel right intuitively, but is an illusion.

Ugh, let me try better formatting.

Further, no parent’s exhaustion level will (or should) be taken into account. “It’s not in your child’s best interest, Mom, unless you’re really tired and then it won’t hurt your child at all”.

This.

I posted earlier with the same basic sentiment.

Two things can be true at the same time.

"Because it's necessary*" does not make a thing okay or healthy for a child.

Again, IF IT IS NECESSARY, then it's NECESSARY!

And just because a thing isn't really okay or healthy for a child doesn't mean you shouldn't do it! Maybe it's necessary on the whole, for your own ability to keep your job, your exhaustion level, whatever.

But that doesn't make it healthy for the child.

And on and on and on.

Sometimes you consider this and realize maybe there's a win-win solution that at least makes things healthiER for the child and allows you to keep your job and sanity. Sometimes you say, hey, this is a sucky situation and so I'm doing something suboptimal, even quite suboptimal, to survive. You don't have to beat yourself up, but you also don't have to make it "perfectly fine."

Learn to live with contradictions.



*if it really is-- and maybe it is!

Further, no parent’s exhaustion level will (or should) be taken into account. “It’s not in your child’s best interest, Mom, unless you’re really tired and then it won’t hurt your child at all”.

This.

I posted earlier with the same basic sentiment.

Two things can be true at the same time.

"Because it's necessary*" does not make a thing okay or healthy for a child.

Again, IF IT IS NECESSARY, then it's NECESSARY!

And just because a thing [i]isn't really okay or healthy for a child doesn't mean you shouldn't do it! Maybe it's necessary on the whole, for your own ability to keep your job, your exhaustion level, whatever.

But that doesn't make it healthy for the child.

And on and on and on.

Sometimes you consider this and realize maybe there's a win-win solution that at least makes things healthiER for the child and allows you to keep your job and sanity. Sometimes you say, hey, this is a sucky situation and so I'm doing something suboptimal, even quite suboptimal, to survive. You don't have to beat yourself up, but you also don't have to make it "perfectly fine."

Learn to live with contradictions.



*if it really is-- and maybe it is!

It’s fine. This is short term in the grand scheme of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Of course the mother's exhaustion should be taken into account. And the "science" is far from clear - otherwise the recommendations wouldn't change so often. The AAP and other public health groups don't set out to make mother's lives (or anyone's lives) harder, but when prescribing unattainable "guidelines" that don't take into account the actual economics of parenthood, they do a disservice to everyone.

If you think parent (eg moms) need to get up at 4am in order to abide by AAP screentime "guidelines" you're a zealot and an idiot.

+1

Motherhood should not be matrydom.

True. However motherhood shouldn’t be all about you at the expense of your children either.

Four hours of TV a day is too fricking much.

Letting them watch TV so she can earn a living doesn't benefit the children? Interesting logic there.

OP, REJECT the idea to "just get up at 4 am" so you can get the screen time down. Sleep. It's important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Of course the mother's exhaustion should be taken into account. And the "science" is far from clear - otherwise the recommendations wouldn't change so often. The AAP and other public health groups don't set out to make mother's lives (or anyone's lives) harder, but when prescribing unattainable "guidelines" that don't take into account the actual economics of parenthood, they do a disservice to everyone.

If you think parent (eg moms) need to get up at 4am in order to abide by AAP screentime "guidelines" you're a zealot and an idiot.

+1

Motherhood should not be matrydom.

True. However motherhood shouldn’t be all about you at the expense of your children either.

Four hours of TV a day is too fricking much.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the 70s and definitely watched this much TV. Every day I watched Sesame Street, Captain Kangaroo and Electric Company. Sometimes two episodes of Sesame St, ad they aired it tiwce per day with different episodes. Then I usually watched stuff in the evenings with my parents, sometimes stuff like Little House or Muppets or Lawrence Welk but often stuff like MASH. My mom did shift work so was often gone weird hours. We couldn’t afford preschool or babysitters.
I went to Yale (no hooks, no legacy, just grades), so it could not have rotted my brain that much.
I think what they are watching matters.
The truth is that with 14 hours in the day and no play dates or school, that’s a lot of time to fill. Four hours of pbskids still leaves 10 hours for creative play, reading, etc.

So you are saying you can’t possibly be happier, more interested or interesting, more talented or accomplished? You couldn’t possibly be healthier or more engaging? You couldn’t possibly have a better imagination?

Did you learn at Yale that you can’t prove a negative?

I grew up in the 70s and definitely watched this much TV. Every day I watched Sesame Street, Captain Kangaroo and Electric Company. Sometimes two episodes of Sesame St, ad they aired it tiwce per day with different episodes. Then I usually watched stuff in the evenings with my parents, sometimes stuff like Little House or Muppets or Lawrence Welk but often stuff like MASH. My mom did shift work so was often gone weird hours. We couldn’t afford preschool or babysitters.
I went to Yale (no hooks, no legacy, just grades), so it could not have rotted my brain that much.
I think what they are watching matters.
The truth is that with 14 hours in the day and no play dates or school, that’s a lot of time to fill. Four hours of pbskids still leaves 10 hours for creative play, reading, etc.

There are better alternatives to 4hours of PBS kids than waking up at 4am.
If you don't already own tablets, buy 2 cheap ones and kid-cases.
Add 3-4 good educational apps on each.
Get Epic from your school district or pay for it.
Put Libby and add your public library cards and get a bunch of audiobooks, and "read along" kids books on Libby.
Voila. Self-paced summer learning, all on shiny screens.
THAT's a compromise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Of course the mother's exhaustion should be taken into account. And the "science" is far from clear - otherwise the recommendations wouldn't change so often. The AAP and other public health groups don't set out to make mother's lives (or anyone's lives) harder, but when prescribing unattainable "guidelines" that don't take into account the actual economics of parenthood, they do a disservice to everyone.

If you think parent (eg moms) need to get up at 4am in order to abide by AAP screentime "guidelines" you're a zealot and an idiot.

The science on this will never be clear as there will never be double blind testing. It would be unethical to test children by purposely exposing the to TV in order to prove it dangerous. (“Okay, your child is in B group and he’s going to get four hours a day of TV to see if it gives him ADD or lowers his IQ, ‘Kay?” )
What we have (theories based on parents reporting after the fact.

Further, no parent’s exhaustion level will (or should) be taken into account. “It’s not in your child’s best interest, Mom, unless you’re really tired and then it won’t hurt your child at all”.

According to recommendations from WHO and AAP, 4 hours is too much.

It sounds like you're doing your best as a parent right now during stressful times. Can you explain to your kids that you need to work and that they have to not distract you when you're working during certain times? You can provide alternative activities (crafts, reading, etc) and allow them access to a certain amount of screen time for good behavior.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Of course the mother's exhaustion should be taken into account. And the "science" is far from clear - otherwise the recommendations wouldn't change so often. The AAP and other public health groups don't set out to make mother's lives (or anyone's lives) harder, but when prescribing unattainable "guidelines" that don't take into account the actual economics of parenthood, they do a disservice to everyone.

If you think parent (eg moms) need to get up at 4am in order to abide by AAP screentime "guidelines" you're a zealot and an idiot.

+1

Motherhood should not be matrydom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think it’s too much. A child’s brain development doesn’t change by outside circumstances like corona virus or the need to work from home. As hard as it is, AAP recommendations are still valid.

I know how hard it is, OP. I’m up at 4 every morning to get my work started before my 7 yr old and 2 yr old wake up. We’re in a virus surge in LA and daycare and camp are closed too.

there’s no science behind AAP recommendations. A mom exhausting herself and possibly compromising job performance isn’t taken into account. There’s no way I’m going to get up at 4 so I can follow AAP screentime recommendations, wtf!

There is only science behind it, PP. The American Association of Pediatrics isn’t giving guidelines just to make your life harder. Any definitive study to prove the harm would be unethical so after-studies are all we will ever have and they are compelling. No, of course, your exhaustion isn’t taken into account nor should it be (although I guarantee the mother getting up at four isn’t less exhausted than you).

Of course the mother's exhaustion should be taken into account. And the "science" is far from clear - otherwise the recommendations wouldn't change so often. The AAP and other public health groups don't set out to make mother's lives (or anyone's lives) harder, but when prescribing unattainable "guidelines" that don't take into account the actual economics of parenthood, they do a disservice to everyone.

If you think parent (eg moms) need to get up at 4am in order to abide by AAP screentime "guidelines" you're a zealot and an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:Do you just want people to tell you it’s okay or do you want help coming up with alternatives?

This.

My 7 and 4 year old probably watch 3-4 hours a day but I do my best to make them watch something they can learn from even dance class videos! But with no day camp so far its hard to reduce the time especially when I have two younger than them to deal with. Fortunately, I now have a college girl 4-6 hours a day who keeps the older ones busy. But with no camp or play dates on the horizon my screen time defenses have weakened.