We are seeing my local inlaws now, but not sure what we will do when my kids go back to school 2 days a week. We will modify our behavior for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, we're interacting with a small group of other families, and my husband has to go into his lab one day per week. It is because my parents are relatively healthy, fully aware of the risks, and want to see my son from time to time. We don't rely on them for child care, but they want occasional visits, and the decision is ultimately theirs. They are intelligent people, and this is what they have decided.

My family lives flights away but my husband's family is within driving distance. We are not isolating and therefore he doesn't want to see his parents, although they want to see us. I see your point that it's up to them, but he doesn't want to feel responsible for getting them sick, since it would be us (and our choices) that would likely lead to it since they are otherwise isolating. My question to you is - do you truly think you'd just shrug and say, well, they're adults and it was their choice if they got sick from visiting you?

Why are you treating the grandparents like they are kids? They understand the risks and are willing to take that risk because they view not seeing the grandkids as more benefit than the risk. So is your husband going to band them for 1-2 years because of Covid, likely longer because there is a low chance of a truly effective vaccine by then. When is it going to end? What about their mental health and or possibly growing resentment with you keeping them away from the grandkids?

They are not stupid. They are not children. They know the risk and are willing to take them. You can minimize the risk by meeting outside more than 6ft. away, etc... But you do you.

I’m a physician, my father is a physician. He knows the risk well and are willing to accept it. We try to keep our distance. The bottom line is don’t touch your face unless you wash your hands and keep a safe distance outside. It’s not hard to negate the risk if you are that risk adverse.

Anonymous wrote:No, we're interacting with a small group of other families, and my husband has to go into his lab one day per week. It is because my parents are relatively healthy, fully aware of the risks, and want to see my son from time to time. We don't rely on them for child care, but they want occasional visits, and the decision is ultimately theirs. They are intelligent people, and this is what they have decided.

My family lives flights away but my husband's family is within driving distance. We are not isolating and therefore he doesn't want to see his parents, although they want to see us. I see your point that it's up to them, but he doesn't want to feel responsible for getting them sick, since it would be us (and our choices) that would likely lead to it since they are otherwise isolating. My question to you is - do you truly think you'd just shrug and say, well, they're adults and it was their choice if they got sick from visiting you?

I don't think it's irrational. We are being very careful but we're not living off the land or anything so we still get grocery delivery. But we are keeping our distance from the grandparents, even though three of the four of them are quite healthy. I'd rather see them in a year and for the next 10-20 years than see them now and have them die.

We've seen my parents pretty regularly. They are semi-isolating in general: weekly grocery store trips, little or no socializing other than us, retired so no office to worry about. We are about the same, only working from home instead of retired. Both of our risks are relatively low and we're about the same as each other. They are also fully functioning adults and capable of deciding their own risk level; they decided that they didn't want to be 100% isolated even if it means taking on a little risk. I would never push them if they were concerned about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is it because you are not interacting with ANYONE else? I would love to let my kids go to their grandparents now since we have quarantined for 4 months, but I still worry about the asymptomatic aspect that my kids could still *could* give it to them. is this irrational at this point?!

Yes.

Same. My parents are retired and are only going out for groceries. We are only going out for groceries too. So we’ve got a bubble of 5 (parents plus me dh and kiddo).

We were doing very limited visits, outdoors, during the 12 weeks dd wasn't in daycare, but now that daycare is open and dd has gone back we've not been seeing them. It's really hard, but we couldn't both work full time anymore without some childcare and my parents are not up to providing childcare. The out of town grandparents, who are both much higher risk, keep making noises about driving 10 hours to get here and we told them no as well (they are also being less cautious in general, which is a separate maddening thing).

We had not seen anyone until this weekend. We quarantined (no outings at all except walks in neighborhood, no grocery delivery) for 12-14 days, and then they drove to see us (with no stops). They took our 6 year old back with them for a week, and will just go to the grocery store once to stock up but otherwise play at home. This way we get a break, and they get time together, and I think that's likely as safe as we can be in this environment. But they did stay in our house, and we did not get our space once they arrived since we did the quarantine in advance. We hadn't seen them since January, and my mother in law was going crazy without seeing our daughter.

We see our local parents for an outside, separated brunch a few times a month (we each sit on opposite sides of the porch).
We see grandparents at the beach only after we've been socially distancing for two weeks-- no babysitter, no doctors visits, only ordering food. The one activity we may continue this time is the pool but I'm not 100 percent sure.
Grandparents are more insistent on our visiting than we are. They say they don't want to go 1-2 years without us visiting because they don't want to waste valuable years.

Yes we did not socialize with anyone from March through May. Once the positive testing rate in our area (they are local) fell below 10%, I felt better that testing was widely available enough that it was catching more of the asymptomatic transmission. We don't go anywhere but the store.

So yes, my mom has been helping with my kids since Memorial day essentially. We were seeing the other grandparents outside only, but they did spend a day at their house indoors recently. It was good for everyone.

We had a few playdates with a neighbor family during all this as well. I've been limiting those now that my sister and her kids are in our bubble too.

We'll dial it all back again once the kids go into group care/school, which will happen at the end of August.

No, we're interacting with a small group of other families, and my husband has to go into his lab one day per week. It is because my parents are relatively healthy, fully aware of the risks, and want to see my son from time to time. We don't rely on them for child care, but they want occasional visits, and the decision is ultimately theirs. They are intelligent people, and this is what they have decided.

Anonymous wrote:is it because you are not interacting with ANYONE else? I would love to let my kids go to their grandparents now since we have quarantined for 4 months, but I still worry about the asymptomatic aspect that my kids could still *could* give it to them. is this irrational at this point?!

Yes.

We went to see my parents who have underlying conditions in addition to age. Beforehand, we quarantined for two weeks (no grocery stores, etc.) and the adults got COVID tests (which I realize aren't full-proof, but better than nothing). My parents also haven't been going into stores, socializing, etc.

We drove down in one day (9 hour drive) and just peed on the side of the road a couple times on the way down.

They've felt really isolated and down, so we thought it was a good idea to see them. When schools start (and when we may be expected to be back in the office), the risks will be higher, so it was now or never.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people seeing parents and grandparents, will that change if your kids go back to school in the fall?

They’re adults, they’ll make whatever decision makes them comfortable.

This. The aelf righteousness of people on this board regarding their parents is appalling. DH and I aren't partying, but we regularly see our younger family members. Masks inside, and ouside too if we aren't socially distancing.

I am in charge of my own life, not you, little one.

We're also adults and capable of making decisions, even if our parents don't like them.

After 3 months of not seeing the grandparents, we decided to ease into it. It is just not sustainable for the grandparents, especially my MIL who lives by herself.

So we visited my MIL sitting outside in her backyard 6 ft apart. This will be how we do things with her although I know my SIL’s kids go over to her place and hang out.

For my parents, they have come over to our place to visit and we try to maintain the 6ft distance inside. No hugs, etc..