Anonymous
Post 06/30/2020 08:28     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If this were another time, I'd suggest taking him to volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen. It's not so easy to ask for expensive wants when coming face to face with people who struggle to attain what they need to survive.

Perhaps a documentary? You could try Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things or Living On One Dollar.

It seems like he's hyperfocusing on his little world rather seeing what the rest of the world is going through. This could be a good teachable moment.


Poor people are not props for you to use to teach your entitled child about privilege.


+1
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 20:42     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:For all the "don't buy them nice things" posters there is something important to feeling as if you fit in and belong. We didn't grow up with much and I've worked since I was 14 but my parents got me a pair of guess jeans which I treated like gold. It was just a pair of jeans but it made me feel like one of the crowd. I don't think material things matter, I don't judge people based on what they have but teens do and teens just want to fit in. Get him the pods if you can.


You almost have a point, but how do you pick the air pods over the sneakers over the whatever? Where does it end? Once in their childhood? Once a year? Once a month?
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 20:01     Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
NP. Your kid is spoiled. It's better he learns now rather than when he's an adult and it's completely too late.

No more allowance for free. It needs to be earned by doing whatever you decide (e.g. chores). No more getting stuff for free unless it's xmas and even then make it reasonable. If he wants more, he can earn it like normal kids need to do.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 19:57     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All my kid's friends have AirPods, smart phones and plans, iPads, laptops. They are 17. I helped my son redecorate his room last summer to make it more young adult comfortable. He does not ask for a car because we live in the city and he takes a scooter to get around. He has an online job so he is earning money for the summer. I don't see anything wrong with these items. How old is your child -- 12?


OP here - he’s turning 16. He has a new iPhone. He doesn’t need a laptop and he doesn’t need a car b/c we live in the city and so many of his friends have cars!

Do I give him $200 AirPods because his friends all have them?

He is a musician and listens to music-his own and other peoples’ - quite a lot.

absolutely not. Tell him to save his allowance and get it himself. Or he can wait till his bday or xmas.

That's what we do for our 15 yr old. He gets $40/month for allowance, but he has bought his own phone, laptop, computer, airpods, etc... We don't buy him super expensive gifts for bday or xmas. Instead, what we would spend on an expensive gift, we give him cash throughout the year in the form of his allowance so he can learn to manage his money. He's pretty good at it. Between a few jobs he got paid for and all his bday/xmas money, he has saved over $4000, even with buying himself those expensive things. He's also learning how to invest the money in the stock market.

Also, he has a cheap phone plan, and he has to pay for the data himself. He uses at wifi at home.


I guess your PP can pay for college on the money he makes from stock investments.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 17:36     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


Clearly a rich people problem.

Not many parents can entertain any doubt about their response, OP.




I don't think it's fair to assume that OP is wealthy. They said that they're on a "single income"


Then I don't see how OP could possibly have a problem. I say no to my children without hesitation. They've known since they were in elementary school what our budget is and how we spend our money.

Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 17:34     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
My teenagers pay for their own wants out of their own money. They both started lifeguarding a 15, and one started babysitting before that. We pay for all needs and some wants. They get more wants from us for birthdays and Christmas. The rest is on them.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 17:01     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
I pay for needs, and wants are given at birthday and the holidays and if you do something spectacular.

My daughter got a new pair of shoes she didn't need when she ran outside in the rain to help an old man whose car had stalled. She stood out there for 20 minutes in the pouring rain helping him.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 17:01     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
$30/month seems pretty low to me.

One of my best friends in 8th grade (so 13 years old) got $100/month, but she had to buy everything out it--even basic clothing, shampoo, etc.
But that was back in 1989. According to:
https://www.usinflationcalculator.com/
it woudl be the equivalent of $206/month.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 16:51     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
For all the "don't buy them nice things" posters there is something important to feeling as if you fit in and belong. We didn't grow up with much and I've worked since I was 14 but my parents got me a pair of guess jeans which I treated like gold. It was just a pair of jeans but it made me feel like one of the crowd. I don't think material things matter, I don't judge people based on what they have but teens do and teens just want to fit in. Get him the pods if you can.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 16:49     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
My 11 yo is paying for her room renovation with chores.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 16:45     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Tell him if he want the basement remodeled he better get to work remodeling it.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 16:33     Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
You can just say no to him and tell him that he can save it up for what he wants and buy those things himself.

If he has an allowance, he should be able to budget for himself at this age. You could encourage him to budget and allocate $ to different expenses. But it may be helpful to allow him to spend $ on his own and learn from any natural consequences (e.g. running out of money and being unable to buy something he wants)
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 16:31     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Anonymous wrote:


Clearly a rich people problem.

Not many parents can entertain any doubt about their response, OP.




I don't think it's fair to assume that OP is wealthy. They said that they're on a "single income"
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 14:54     Subject: Re:Teen constantly asking for expensive things
In the stone ages, my mom’s rule was that she would pay for half of random, expensive stuff I didn’t need. If I was willing to save/work for the money, she was willing to meet me halfway. I started working a real job at 15 though, (and babysat long before that) so I knew how many hours something would cost me.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 14:44     Subject: Teen constantly asking for expensive things
Have you bothered contextualizing money for your child? Does he know AirPods are 3 weeks of food for one person, or a car payment, or a week's rent? At sixteen he should be well on his way to learning the value of money or he’ll be in a world of trouble in two years.