Anonymous wrote:Why does Dad get every weekend? You should have some time with your child on weekends,too.

OP might like it this way

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ ok, missed the child is 13. Did the child say anything about the partner being abusive or treating the child badly? If not, it’s best for the child and you op to move on and accept That this person will be in your ex husband’s and your child’s lives - at least while she and the ex are together.

She has never met my child. Ex-DH told me that she was moving in when he dropped off our child last week.

Ok. That’s HUGE. He’s moving a woman into his house who the child has never met before.

Now on visitation there will be some strange woman there. That is mentally damaging to the child.

He is an awful, selfish parent to not have prepared the child or you.

I agree, this woman is being sprung on my child. I have told my child that their father had girlfriends during the marriage but they have never been forced to be around this woman. It's a truly heartbreaking situation.

I think you need to stop talking with your child about your relationship with your ex. Don’t put that on him/her. It’s adult business, not kid business.

Anonymous wrote:As someone married to a person whose parents had a bitter divorce when he was around the same age, please please please get to therapy and try not to bring your kid into your issues with your husband and his new partner.

Same here. My FIL has been married to the other woman for 30 years. My MIL and FIL were clearly not a good match. He shouldn’t have cheated but my MIL has never moved on. None of the kids think of SMIL as their mom, in any way, but the kids have all come to peace with the situation. MIL has never done so, I wish she would get therapy. My SIL has tried really hard to get her to go to therapy and move on.

Why does Dad get every weekend? You should have some time with your child on weekends,too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, You are the winner all day every day. Someone coming into the relationship 13 years on will never compare to you.

Thank you this does bring me some comfort.

Anonymous wrote:What is the custody split?

I have our child during the week, and he has our child every weekend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ ok, missed the child is 13. Did the child say anything about the partner being abusive or treating the child badly? If not, it’s best for the child and you op to move on and accept That this person will be in your ex husband’s and your child’s lives - at least while she and the ex are together.

She has never met my child. Ex-DH told me that she was moving in when he dropped off our child last week.

Ok. That’s HUGE. He’s moving a woman into his house who the child has never met before.

Now on visitation there will be some strange woman there. That is mentally damaging to the child.

He is an awful, selfish parent to not have prepared the child or you.

I agree, this woman is being sprung on my child. I have told my child that their father had girlfriends during the marriage but they have never been forced to be around this woman. It's a truly heartbreaking situation.

What is the custody split?

OP, You are the winner all day every day. Someone coming into the relationship 13 years on will never compare to you.

at 13, she is old enough to make her own decisions and they need to be respected by the parent.

If she is uncomfortable and doesn't want to be around the new lady, a judge will respect that, but hopefully EX would respect that before it ever got to a judge

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ ok, missed the child is 13. Did the child say anything about the partner being abusive or treating the child badly? If not, it’s best for the child and you op to move on and accept That this person will be in your ex husband’s and your child’s lives - at least while she and the ex are together.

She has never met my child. Ex-DH told me that she was moving in when he dropped off our child last week.

Ok. That’s HUGE. He’s moving a woman into his house who the child has never met before.

Now on visitation there will be some strange woman there. That is mentally damaging to the child.

He is an awful, selfish parent to not have prepared the child or you.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that they had written in the custody agreement about not having opposite sex sleepover in the house.

Smart.

It f@cks kids up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, why would you want to keep the other woman away from the child?

I understand the hurt feelings because she was the affair partner, but unless she is abusive to your child or has other behavioral or psychological issues that put your child’s wellbeing at risk, there is no reason for you to prevent your child from being around her.

How old is your child? Is there conflict? Did the child express any reasons not to want to be around her?

As much as it hurts you, it’s probably now best for child to normalize back relationships including with the dad and his partner.

My child is 13. She's not abusive from what I hear she's a lovely person even though she's a homewrecker. She doesn't have children and I am worried about her trying to mother my child. My child already has a mother.

And your child knows that. So instead of acting destructive by trying to prevent your child from being around your ex’s partner, focus on your own relationship with your child so that it is positive (as positive as it could be at 13 ) and work on building your confidence back. This woman is not omnipotent that she stole your dh’ love and will take away your child’s love from you. Focus on yourself and finding balance and peace. It is easier for the child to have positivity rather than conflict and drama in their lives, especially at teen years, and fighting this with your ex will do just that and end up hurting the child and then you.

Child abuse, drug use, things like that is the only way you will be able to get a court order

As someone married to a person whose parents had a bitter divorce when he was around the same age, please please please get to therapy and try not to bring your kid into your issues with your husband and his new partner.