Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 18:23     Subject: Re:Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Here's my question to you: so what if you wind up doing some of, or even most of, the work for the dog? You're willing to do it for the cats, that you want? But your kids aren't worth taking on some work for? I think it's very wrong to deny your kids this. My DH would not allow us to get a dog for years (after the one we got together before marriage died and I married him as a dog person) and I did fight it, along with the kids. As far as I'm concerned, your husband has a right to let the kids know his side of this. Finally convincing my husband to allow the dog (just typing that makes me sick, why did get the final say, anyway?), was the best thing that happened to our family. Five years later and the dog continues to bring joy to the whole family--including my jerk of a husband.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 18:13     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:PS we seldom walk our dog. She does. what she needs to in the back yard and loves her crate. Our neighbors do the same. Only one neighbor actually walks the dog.


Our neighborhood has yards, but everyone walks their dogs. There are tons of people out walking their dogs all of the time.

We do live in a close-in walkable neighborhood and there is a dog park, but I met so many neighbors that live in farther reaches of the neighborhood on dog walks.

My kids are doing all of the dog walking since Covid. I miss my walks with my dog. I have always worked from home so he was a companion.
.

Same. Our neighbors mostly have yards but I see them walking their dogs all the time.


Agreed, this just seems so mean, who doesn’t walk their dog?
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 18:09     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try fostering a dog. Make your husband do the work. When he doesn't, tell him that's the reason you are not getting a dog permanently.


Do foster groups allow this in homes with two cats?[/quote

Why wouldn't they?
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 18:08     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:Try fostering a dog. Make your husband do the work. When he doesn't, tell him that's the reason you are not getting a dog permanently.

This. Lots of rescues around here looking for fosters.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 18:02     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
How old are your kids? We waited until our kids were 9 and 11 to get a dog. They’re absolutely in charge of feeding and at least one walk a day. Make it their responsibility and if they don’t hold their end of the bargain, they get a consequence. Just be consistent and clear with expectations from the beginning.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 17:59     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:PS we seldom walk our dog. She does. what she needs to in the back yard and loves her crate. Our neighbors do the same. Only one neighbor actually walks the dog.


Our neighborhood has yards, but everyone walks their dogs. There are tons of people out walking their dogs all of the time.

We do live in a close-in walkable neighborhood and there is a dog park, but I met so many neighbors that live in farther reaches of the neighborhood on dog walks.

My kids are doing all of the dog walking since Covid. I miss my walks with my dog. I have always worked from home so he was a companion.
.

Same. Our neighbors mostly have yards but I see them walking their dogs all the time.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 09:03     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:PS we seldom walk our dog. She does. what she needs to in the back yard and loves her crate. Our neighbors do the same. Only one neighbor actually walks the dog.


Our neighborhood has yards, but everyone walks their dogs. There are tons of people out walking their dogs all of the time.

We do live in a close-in walkable neighborhood and there is a dog park, but I met so many neighbors that live in farther reaches of the neighborhood on dog walks.

My kids are doing all of the dog walking since Covid. I miss my walks with my dog. I have always worked from home so he was a companion.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2020 09:01     Subject: Re:Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was you OP and I held out for years. I love animals but didn’t want the responsibility. I finally gave in and we’ve had our dog for several years now- I am his person and I absolutely adore him. He has really added a lot to our lives.


Me too. The dog has enriched each of our lives. It’s work but the reward is big.


Yep. My husband and I were dead set against a dog for years.

We got one Fall 2018 as a puppy and he is the best thing ever. We are all hopelessly love with him. He is large and fluffy (85 pounds). He never barks and is super social, zero aggression. My kids were 13 and 10 when we got the dog. My older son literally had been asking for one since he could say the word 'dog'.

It's my first dog of my entire life (we had a cat growing up) and though I don't consider myself a dog person, this guy is the BEST! I'm still not the type to see a dog and fawn and oooh and ahhh. It has to be a 'type' I find cute. I also like larger breeds.

It's funny. It's like kids. I never was a huge 'dying to have kid' person and then when I had my own kids I was over the moon.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 10:18     Subject: Re:Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Our dog died last summer and we aren't getting another one right now. Dog walkers are a major expense. So is boarding for vacations. Basically every time you leave the house you start the mental clock until the next time she needs to go out. I love dogs but while I have young kids (and this fall I was looking forward to going back to work with my second kid starting school) I can't deal with the additional work. We have three cats. Cats are cheap and don't require any kind of lifestyle change. Want to go to the zoo all day on a Saturday? You can with cats. With dogs you have to make arrangements.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:40     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
I absolutely love dogs but I never agree to a dog unless I'm willing to take responsibility for it. Kids won't. Spouses can be iffy. To be sure the responsibility is not dumped on you, say no, if you are not sure.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:38     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
We also have a cat. The dog and cat are best friends.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:21     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
PS we seldom walk our dog. She does. what she needs to in the back yard and loves her crate. Our neighbors do the same. Only one neighbor actually walks the dog.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:18     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
It really does depend on the dog. In dogs you get what you pay for. And a fenced yard is a must for low key maintenance. We had greyhounds and now a corgi. The people helped us pick out a docile low key one. Breeders know their temperament from a very young age. Neither our greyhounds nor our corgi have health or behavior issues. That is what you really want when you are choosing a pet, especially if you are a mom with many responsibilities.
Many “rescue” dogs are just puppy farm dogs grown older. You are still supporting breeders. Just the ones they couldn’t sell. This is well documented.
All of my friends have bichons. Another lower key dog. DH always want a big dog. I question whether big dogs are really the best for city life. GL with your choices.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:12     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
I know of several families where this was the case, they gave in, and Mom is now absolutely in love with the dog. I would say go for it and demand that others help out with the care...except that you have cats. That totally changes the dynamic. Cats can be stressed by dogs, and a dog may not be able to adjust to an environment with a cat. And you are right - you have a problem on your hands if the pets can't get along. For your particular situation, I would say it doesn't work until your cats have passed. Two pets is plenty.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2020 09:10     Subject: Everyone in family wants a dog--except for me
Anonymous wrote:Try fostering a dog. Make your husband do the work. When he doesn't, tell him that's the reason you are not getting a dog permanently.


Do foster groups allow this in homes with two cats?