Charisma. A couple of people in my extended family have it. They’re also good-looking - which certainly helps - but it’s not just looks, it’s a certain energy. They (can) make you feel welcome and special. They’re funny and kind of fearless - none of them seem to spend much time worrying about what others think.

One family member had a genuine joy of being around other people - he ended up being class president, captain of various sports teams in high school and always had a leadership role throughout life. He used his interpersonal powers for good (or what he thought was good) - I never saw him deliberately try to manipulate anyone else or put someone down. He outlived most of his peers, but still 100s of people showed up for his funeral.

All of his kids got some of that charisma, but some of them ended up being manipulative too. They can be incredibly charming and absolutely light up a room, but they can also use those interpersonal skills to rip others to shreds.

In the following generation, maybe only 1 or 2 have the family charisma. Some of the others are also very good looking, but they don’t light up a room like the charismatic ones do.

Engaging personality, sass and good looks.

Anonymous wrote:And why is this in Family Relationships?

My immediate thought too. Explain, OP.

As an adult, being fun and funny.

And charisma. Either you go it or you don’t.

Charisma. My sister has a kid who oozes charisma. Fortunately the kid is really nice and not psycho.

It is very interesting to see how the kid's charisma affect total strangers. I've seen the room dynamic change when the kid walks in. There could be 100 strangers sitting around quietly chatting and this kid walks in and wowza the whole room begins to buzz within a few minutes. This kid has charisma. It definitely is innate, not a nurture behavior, because believe me none of the rest of us have it.

Confidence and a consistent smile on your face. Always something new and interesting to talk about and get people excited about (which can sometimes be harmless or harmful gossip)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Popular-elitist/mean/feared, or popular-well-liked?

I'm popular and I think it's because I'm confident and comfortable in my own skin, to a degree where I can be a bit generous and bring people into conversations or situations if I see they look shy or nervous or feel excluded. Because I'm not overly worried about whether people like me, I'll take a chance to make a joke, try a new line of thought, be vulnerable.

Most people like me. Some don't. And that's all the same to me. It truly doesn't bother me if I don't get included in everything, or if the conversation doesn't shift my way, or if someone talks about an event I didn't attend. I go with the swim, so I'm in the swim.

+1

This is me.

Same here. You just have to go with the flow and have an easy energy. No one want to be around a stressed out person.

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know what popular means. Well-liked and people are geniunely attracted to you?
Which seems different than popular like in high school or weird mom social groups, which is more about fear and envy.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Their own imaginations; or the imaginations of those who give them that label.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I was not at all popular as a kid, but my DD, now 10, is. She's a people person and always has been. She's always delighted to talk to someone and have someone talk to her, whereas as a kid, there were a lot of time where being around peopel tired me out and I just didn't want to talk. Classic introvert and extrovert. I think people pick up on that genuine delight to be around somebody -- and it is genuine and she's very accepting of a lot of different personalities, except mean people. They actually intimidate her, so I wouldn't say she's perfectly confidental all the time. But she does have good people skills -- I've seen her connect two kids who don't know each other so they all play together so smoothly I am amazed. As an adult, I can barely do it. She's the type who gets picked to show the new kid around, or partnered with a shy kid who needs a little encouragement, according to her teachers. Judging by who says hi to her when I see her in school, she's pretty well-liked.

I think she'd make a good counselor or therapist as a adult. She says she's thinking of being a teacher. I can see that too.

She sounds like a great kid. As a middle aged introvert who has always wished she was extroverted I'm envious of people born with that type of personality. I can put on an act and pretend to be extroverted for short periods of time but it exhausts me. I wish I was always delighted to talk to someone!

They’re fun.

In MS/HS being slutty.

I don't even know what popular means. Well-liked and people are geniunely attracted to you?
Which seems different than popular like in high school or weird mom social groups, which is more about fear and envy.

Anonymous wrote:Having an open mind, and not being racist helps. Realizing that one has privilege and acknowledgement of the same is an indicator of popularity

Hahaha

Anonymous wrote:I agree with confidence and how they carry themselves, charisma.

This