Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 02:45     Subject: Corporate mistress
I am not an SN mom but what stood out is your complete loss of your own self... I don’t know how it works with SN kids but is it possible to relax a little on that front and instead work on your own life and career? I would t wait until after divorce as it influences your whole life and you just keep falling deeper...
I was a SAHM many years and it’s comforting to be with your child and lead a comfy life but it’s a dead end and it sucks you in
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 01:04     Subject: Corporate mistress
OP, I have been wondering what country you were born in. Your omission of articles -- "the, an, a" -- stands out. It does, however, convince me that you are not a troll. If I were you I would not even think about leaving before my SN graduated from high school. I would try to save money. The marriage is dead, but not your son's future. I am not surprised that your DH prefers someone older. There is a certain kind of man who wants a woman who does not truly want/need him. They want women with equal or superior wealth, social standing, etc. They want to feel desired for themselves, not the material benefits they provide.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 00:41     Subject: Re:Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...



Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.


I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.


It’s not my native language, sorry for typos or errors.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 00:37     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, how old are you? What is your job?


I am in my early 40s I had a corporate career abroad and 2 years in the US but then had to be home as our son had difficulty reading, writing etc., and I had to take him to all those therapies. Soon to be ex husband traveled a lot.

I had a very good salary back than for how young I was. I did finance and legal, but now my skills in the fields are really forgotten.
Do you suggest to go back to professional school, getting an extra license, or looking straight for a job? I wanted to work full time during marriage, but our son had behavioral issues and finding a good day care giver was hard. Most caregivers just give video games. Now he is entering high school and I don’t know how well he’s going to do in much lore challenging program.


Most caregivers just give video games? Really?


NP, but when you have a challenging child with SN, yes, most caregivers will resort to screen-time to pacify child. It's a LOT easier than trying to figure out how to deal with the behaviors. It's nearly impossible to find anybody that is actually good at dealing with a kid like this.


OP here. Yes, for example, he couldn’t begin writing because school gave printed letters. He could only understand and write with cursive letters first, and I had to draw circles, then make letters from circles, then connect them into worlds and sentences. We filled loads of cursive writing firms from the therapist at home. Then he began writing like others closer to 3rd grade. He’s not an idiot and quite bright in some areas, just does things very different from “standard” educational system. If he has no outside help he won’t be able to perform well in that system and would likely be studying in a special school now.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 00:35     Subject: Re:Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:OP here. He doesn’t press for a divorce. It’s his goal as well to get our son into a good college and not stress out already vulnerable teenager. Now during pandemics he out of a sudden began parenting. We are just de-facto separated, not sharing bedroom, only have lunch together but mostly he spends day in his part of the house and I live in mine. Don’t tell don’t ask family.

Would you live in marriage like that for the duration of becoming more financial sustainable by possibly getting a degree financed by future ex husband (in 4 years), getting kids into college and higher payout in divorce? Am I a person without morals myself for not filing for a divorce proudly and instead just working on my own life and case against him ?


I think its fine to live that way and not divorce if it meets your needs. Its best for your son to have both parents and this is easiest. But, know at any time he can ask for a divorce so I would make sure money is put in your name only.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 00:35     Subject: Re:Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband won't leave this job, as this is this is a successful startup project of his life. My estimate is that he's having a mistress since 2016, but met her in 2012. I guess I was just wondering, if they are dating for so long and he still didn't ask for a divorce, why is that?

I am just totally shocked someone could be so dishonest and lead double life: photos of our family friends visiting are mixed with him hopping on a plane flying with her somewhere with faces full of love.

Our marriage was full of love some time ago, and he gives her gifts from same designers, takes to same places he took me. She looks old, in her 50s, but otherwise a very well groomed and attractive woman. She took him for dinner with her husband and daughter, who don't suspect anything.

My son is not doing well (on spectrum), and I am SAHM because I am his main caregiver. I've been working part time whole married life, but it's not a high flying corporate job that my husband promoted his mistress for.

I feel like I was ripped of everything, but most of all, of companionship with someone I built a life after our son goes to college...



Now I think you're a troll. This is completely nonresponsive to any of the replies.


I was going to go with AI instead of.troll . There seem to be more and more posts lately with this strange syntax and stilted language.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2020 00:19     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, how old are you? What is your job?


I am in my early 40s I had a corporate career abroad and 2 years in the US but then had to be home as our son had difficulty reading, writing etc., and I had to take him to all those therapies. Soon to be ex husband traveled a lot.

I had a very good salary back than for how young I was. I did finance and legal, but now my skills in the fields are really forgotten.
Do you suggest to go back to professional school, getting an extra license, or looking straight for a job? I wanted to work full time during marriage, but our son had behavioral issues and finding a good day care giver was hard. Most caregivers just give video games. Now he is entering high school and I don’t know how well he’s going to do in much lore challenging program.


Most caregivers just give video games? Really?


NP, but when you have a challenging child with SN, yes, most caregivers will resort to screen-time to pacify child. It's a LOT easier than trying to figure out how to deal with the behaviors. It's nearly impossible to find anybody that is actually good at dealing with a kid like this.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 23:20     Subject: Re:Corporate mistress
OP here. He doesn’t press for a divorce. It’s his goal as well to get our son into a good college and not stress out already vulnerable teenager. Now during pandemics he out of a sudden began parenting. We are just de-facto separated, not sharing bedroom, only have lunch together but mostly he spends day in his part of the house and I live in mine. Don’t tell don’t ask family.

Would you live in marriage like that for the duration of becoming more financial sustainable by possibly getting a degree financed by future ex husband (in 4 years), getting kids into college and higher payout in divorce? Am I a person without morals myself for not filing for a divorce proudly and instead just working on my own life and case against him ?
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:28     Subject: Corporate mistress
You have no social circle if the people you hang out with are his friends and colleagues.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:19     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, how old are you? What is your job?


I am in my early 40s I had a corporate career abroad and 2 years in the US but then had to be home as our son had difficulty reading, writing etc., and I had to take him to all those therapies. Soon to be ex husband traveled a lot.

I had a very good salary back than for how young I was. I did finance and legal, but now my skills in the fields are really forgotten.
Do you suggest to go back to professional school, getting an extra license, or looking straight for a job? I wanted to work full time during marriage, but our son had behavioral issues and finding a good day care giver was hard. Most caregivers just give video games. Now he is entering high school and I don’t know how well he’s going to do in much lore challenging program.


If you are divorcing you need a job soon. If you go back to school it should be part time and/or remote and employer paid. You can’t afford to be a full time student if you are a single divorced mom.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:18     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, how old are you? What is your job?


I am in my early 40s I had a corporate career abroad and 2 years in the US but then had to be home as our son had difficulty reading, writing etc., and I had to take him to all those therapies. Soon to be ex husband traveled a lot.

I had a very good salary back than for how young I was. I did finance and legal, but now my skills in the fields are really forgotten.
Do you suggest to go back to professional school, getting an extra license, or looking straight for a job? I wanted to work full time during marriage, but our son had behavioral issues and finding a good day care giver was hard. Most caregivers just give video games. Now he is entering high school and I don’t know how well he’s going to do in much lore challenging program.


Wait till after the divorce so you can get alimony but talk to an attorney.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:18     Subject: Corporate mistress
At least he chose the classier option over the economy mistress.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:17     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Marriage therapy is not helpful with an abuser. I would consult an attorney.

Does your SN son have a prospect of living independently and leaving for college or a job at 18. Will your DH continue to contribute financially to support your son if not?



My son's well being is a very big concern. For now, he is receiving all financial support (tutors, good school, college fund). I hope my husband won't mind paying for his college if we were to divorce.


How bad are his SN? Is college realistic? Is him becoming independent realistic? Or will you support him forever likely?


He is very good in math, actually, in advanced math program. But has behavioral outbursts and short attention span, memory issues. His writing skills are pretty bad, too. He has 100% score and excellent grade in math, but other subjects are average or slightly below average.I think he can enter a mid-rank technical school. But it’s hard to tell if he would be able to maintain steady employment


Make sure to get good child support and college or technical school paid for by dad and any extraordinary medical expenses such as evaluations in a divorce.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:16     Subject: Corporate mistress
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op, how old are you? What is your job?


I am in my early 40s I had a corporate career abroad and 2 years in the US but then had to be home as our son had difficulty reading, writing etc., and I had to take him to all those therapies. Soon to be ex husband traveled a lot.

I had a very good salary back than for how young I was. I did finance and legal, but now my skills in the fields are really forgotten.
Do you suggest to go back to professional school, getting an extra license, or looking straight for a job? I wanted to work full time during marriage, but our son had behavioral issues and finding a good day care giver was hard. Most caregivers just give video games. Now he is entering high school and I don’t know how well he’s going to do in much lore challenging program.


Most caregivers just give video games? Really?
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2020 19:16     Subject: Corporate mistress
If you think 50s are old then you are definitely a troll. You should see me (59) .