Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 09:17     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those are the parents you hear about showing up at job fairs or grad school interviews.

I have an employee I hired right out of college and her mother called me a few times (just to get to know me), sent the office treats and even visited once during her first year with us. I wonder what mom was like when she was in college...


OMG. I can't even.

I'll be honest. The treats were pretty awesome! We've gotten towers of chocolates and nuts, gourmet popcorn tins, really beautiful cookies...the kind of stuff a vendor sends at the end of the year. I can't help but like the woman. She is very sweet and kind. It was a little odd when she came through the office!

One bummer that could be related is that my employee has a hard time taking initiative and doesn't seem to have much ambition. She's awesome at following directions and responding to suggestions, though.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:23     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:To me this is so sad,.. I was the last of the generation without hand holding. My mom didn’t even know my college grades. Parents now are handicapping their kids due to their own anxieties.


My parents didn’t know what classes I took or what grades I got but since I paid my own tuition I guess it also wasn’t their business... c/o 2007.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:20     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:Those are the parents you hear about showing up at job fairs or grad school interviews.

I have an employee I hired right out of college and her mother called me a few times (just to get to know me), sent the office treats and even visited once during her first year with us. I wonder what mom was like when she was in college...


OMG. I can't even.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:20     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:"I had zero parental guidance. Took absurd classes like "AMERican Cool" and "empathy in journalism." Met my husband and popped out a bunch of kids. I am a cautionary tale to myself!"

I too had ZERO parental guidance. I flunked out twice. Now my parents claim it taught me resilience.

First, it taught me that top 20 schools are hard and state flagship universities are easy.

Then it taught me that hard schools lead somewhere but easy schools, not so much.


You sound like a mess and could have used some parents.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:13     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
"I had zero parental guidance. Took absurd classes like "AMERican Cool" and "empathy in journalism." Met my husband and popped out a bunch of kids. I am a cautionary tale to myself!"

I too had ZERO parental guidance. I flunked out twice. Now my parents claim it taught me resilience.

First, it taught me that top 20 schools are hard and state flagship universities are easy.

Then it taught me that hard schools lead somewhere but easy schools, not so much.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:08     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My friends husband would drive 2 hours each way to help his son with his economics homework. Unbelievable. He did this drive many times specifically to do/help with the economics homework.

I think that is really sweet and helpful. He got to spend time with his son and they probably had dinner as well. Plus, if dad knew it and son needed help, why is this that different than paying for a tutor or going to tutoring center? Plus if you are paying all that money for tuition, why not help kid understand the material. Maybe his kid had a LD that you don't know about?


It was a 2 hour drive each way on multiple occasions. His wife (the step Mom) thought it was crazy but did not say anything to her husband.

Well of course step mom thought it was crazy. It sounds it was on a a few occasions not every other day. I used to drive to DS's games in college. So did many other parents of kids' on a team. I think your argument here is weak as dad most likely loved going there and probably offered. I have two kids in college, rising senior and rising sophomore, I did not help with any enrollment or do I know what is going on apart from them telling me when they want to. I agree that many parents are nuts and are doing their kids no favors, but dad probably liked going to see his son. 4 hour drive is nothing in the DMV.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 08:00     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:I'm 46 and there were definitely helicopter parents doing all this stuff in the early 90s.


Not where I went to college. I remember one girl whose mom called multiple times a week—not even every day—and we thought that was excessive. She wasn’t helping her pick classes, though. Just chatting. I’m so grateful my parents were so hands-off.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:55     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:After spending some time on a parent Facebook group, none of this surprises me. Parents are way over-involved. I've seen people trying to find roommates for their college seniors! (This is always for "a sweet young man who doesn't drink and loves studying and quiet.")

Before my son picked his freshman classes, I did make sure he had the four-year plan for his major and a list of gen ed. classes handy. For both kids, I check in once in a while to make sure they have been able to get the classes they need to stick to the four-year graduation plan, although one of them feels this is too much intervention.


+1 to the bolded.

My college kid would have loved for me to do everything for him - that's just the way he is. I refused. Guess what - he figured it all out and is doing great.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:54     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:After spending some time on a parent Facebook group, none of this surprises me. Parents are way over-involved. I've seen people trying to find roommates for their college seniors! (This is always for "a sweet young man who doesn't drink and loves studying and quiet.")

Before my son picked his freshman classes, I did make sure he had the four-year plan for his major and a list of gen ed. classes handy. For both kids, I check in once in a while to make sure they have been able to get the classes they need to stick to the four-year graduation plan, although one of them feels this is too much intervention.


That’s too much intervention. That’s what their academic advisors are for.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:54     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
I'm 46 and there were definitely helicopter parents doing all this stuff in the early 90s.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:53     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. One friend also plans to track his phone so she knows if he is in class every day. And she was also able to set it up where she will has access to log onto his college email to monitor every message he gets.

Still cool with all of you?


Really, really weird.


I think Pink Floyd's "mother" captures it perfectly. Also she needs to make sure some dirty girl doesnt give him meningitis. I think that was a TV ad that alluded to that.

Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm
Ooh baby, ooh baby, ooh baby
Of course mama's gonna help build the wall
Mother, do you think she's good enough?
For me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous
To me?
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:46     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
After spending some time on a parent Facebook group, none of this surprises me. Parents are way over-involved. I've seen people trying to find roommates for their college seniors! (This is always for "a sweet young man who doesn't drink and loves studying and quiet.")

Before my son picked his freshman classes, I did make sure he had the four-year plan for his major and a list of gen ed. classes handy. For both kids, I check in once in a while to make sure they have been able to get the classes they need to stick to the four-year graduation plan, although one of them feels this is too much intervention.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:36     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Anonymous wrote:I helped my son register for his classes the summer before his freshman year and even ordered his books. I submitted most of his housing and orientation forms and bought all his dorm items. He was a smart clueless indifferent borderline-slacker 17-year old who just wanted to hang out with his friends and party. We gave him 50-50 odds of making it beyond the first year of college and held our breath when we dropped him off. He changed dramatically in that first year, so he beat our odds. I haven't picked classes or intervened since - beyond paying the bills.


The point is, he had to step up once mommy finally let go.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 07:32     Subject: My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
Those are the parents you hear about showing up at job fairs or grad school interviews.

I have an employee I hired right out of college and her mother called me a few times (just to get to know me), sent the office treats and even visited once during her first year with us. I wonder what mom was like when she was in college...
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2020 06:37     Subject: Re:My friends can't even let their kids pick their own classes!
I helped my son register for his classes the summer before his freshman year and even ordered his books. I submitted most of his housing and orientation forms and bought all his dorm items. He was a smart clueless indifferent borderline-slacker 17-year old who just wanted to hang out with his friends and party. We gave him 50-50 odds of making it beyond the first year of college and held our breath when we dropped him off. He changed dramatically in that first year, so he beat our odds. I haven't picked classes or intervened since - beyond paying the bills.