Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course youlll have to pay alimony. Until he gets remarried.

Which, if he's smart, he will never do, for a variety of reasons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have any first-hand knowledge of how a divorce proceeding might likely go with a stay at home dad and a working mother? Meaning, would the husband be entitled to alimony? The house? I've been married to my husband for 11 years. When my son was born 10 years ago, we made the decision for him to stay home with my son because a) husband didn't have a steady job, b) I would make significantly more than him at any job he could get, and c) we didn't want our son to go to daycare. We agreed that when my son started elementary school, he would get a part-time job that enabled him to see him to/from school.

Two months after my son turned 2, I was laid off from my job of 9 years. Instead of stepping up and getting a job to support us, my husband (who was drinking too much before) became a full-out drunk. He crashed two cars in one night, got arrested twice in one month, and made my life a living hell for 10 months. I was just about to file for divorce when I finally got a new job. To his credit, he got off the liquor and straightened up so that he could once again take care of our son.

Fast forward 7 years: I'm still at the same job making decent money. My son is going into 5th grade. My husband is drinking two large bottles of wine every night and has an array of new(er) health issues that won't allow him to work. The two bottles of wine a night has been going on for a couple of years, if not more. I've been working from home since March and the issues that I had tried to ignore are now staring me down. He sleeps all day (one of his health issues results in fatigue), drinks and smokes all afternoon/evening in the bedroom, and the worst part - although my son is home full-time too, my husband never makes a point to spend time with him. He can go a day or two without even seeing my son - and we're all in the same house!


Staying longer, i.e. kid graduates from high school will probably mean more alimony for husband. Cut your losses and move on now.
I have skipped so much, but as you can imagine, I'm done. I checked out mentally years ago, but my resentment and anger are starting to really take a toll on me. My heart hurts so badly for my son, who is an amazing kid and is missing out on the father he deserves. I honestly feel like he might get more quality time in a joint custody arrangement than he gets now.

I want a divorce. But I don't think he deserves one cent from me. He currently spends over $700 a month on his bad habits - well, it's my job that pays for that. He has subjected me to so much mental, emotional, and financial turmoil over the years. But he has a lot of resentment towards me, too - mostly for refusing to sleep in the same bed with him. Oh, I forgot to mention that not only does he drink and smoke in the bedroom, but he also rarely showers anymore (he has severe psoriasis and says it hurts his skin) and well, he smells. And so does the bedroom. I can't fathom ever sleeping in there ever again. (I've tried to gently hint at the need for more showers, and he gets very defensive and says that he's cleaner than I am - when I shower every day.) Anyway, all this to say that there's no way it would be an easy divorce, so it would likely come down to a judge making our life-altering decisions for us. I'm scared that I will have to continue to support him, even after divorce. I'm scared that we will have to sell the house that my son has known all his life. I don't want my child to lose that stability.

So I guess my question is - how likely is it that a judge would decide that my husband should receive alimony? How likely that we'd have to sell our house? These two issues are the main ones holding me back from the divorce that I know is best for all of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course youlll have to pay alimony. Until he gets remarried.

Which, if he's smart, he will never do, for a variety of reasons.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have any first-hand knowledge of how a divorce proceeding might likely go with a stay at home dad and a working mother? Meaning, would the husband be entitled to alimony? The house? I've been married to my husband for 11 years. When my son was born 10 years ago, we made the decision for him to stay home with my son because a) husband didn't have a steady job, b) I would make significantly more than him at any job he could get, and c) we didn't want our son to go to daycare. We agreed that when my son started elementary school, he would get a part-time job that enabled him to see him to/from school.

Two months after my son turned 2, I was laid off from my job of 9 years. Instead of stepping up and getting a job to support us, my husband (who was drinking too much before) became a full-out drunk. He crashed two cars in one night, got arrested twice in one month, and made my life a living hell for 10 months. I was just about to file for divorce when I finally got a new job. To his credit, he got off the liquor and straightened up so that he could once again take care of our son.

Fast forward 7 years: I'm still at the same job making decent money. My son is going into 5th grade. My husband is drinking two large bottles of wine every night and has an array of new(er) health issues that won't allow him to work. The two bottles of wine a night has been going on for a couple of years, if not more. I've been working from home since March and the issues that I had tried to ignore are now staring me down. He sleeps all day (one of his health issues results in fatigue), drinks and smokes all afternoon/evening in the bedroom, and the worst part - although my son is home full-time too, my husband never makes a point to spend time with him. He can go a day or two without even seeing my son - and we're all in the same house!


Staying longer, i.e. kid graduates from high school will probably mean more alimony for husband. Cut your losses and move on now.
I have skipped so much, but as you can imagine, I'm done. I checked out mentally years ago, but my resentment and anger are starting to really take a toll on me. My heart hurts so badly for my son, who is an amazing kid and is missing out on the father he deserves. I honestly feel like he might get more quality time in a joint custody arrangement than he gets now.

I want a divorce. But I don't think he deserves one cent from me. He currently spends over $700 a month on his bad habits - well, it's my job that pays for that. He has subjected me to so much mental, emotional, and financial turmoil over the years. But he has a lot of resentment towards me, too - mostly for refusing to sleep in the same bed with him. Oh, I forgot to mention that not only does he drink and smoke in the bedroom, but he also rarely showers anymore (he has severe psoriasis and says it hurts his skin) and well, he smells. And so does the bedroom. I can't fathom ever sleeping in there ever again. (I've tried to gently hint at the need for more showers, and he gets very defensive and says that he's cleaner than I am - when I shower every day.) Anyway, all this to say that there's no way it would be an easy divorce, so it would likely come down to a judge making our life-altering decisions for us. I'm scared that I will have to continue to support him, even after divorce. I'm scared that we will have to sell the house that my son has known all his life. I don't want my child to lose that stability.

So I guess my question is - how likely is it that a judge would decide that my husband should receive alimony? How likely that we'd have to sell our house? These two issues are the main ones holding me back from the divorce that I know is best for all of us.

Anonymous wrote:because of equality it should go like this....

1. He gets primary custody and you get 1,3 weekend and every other thursday...
2. You pay child support.
3. You pay alamony.
4. He gets the house.
5. You get vilified becuase you left him after he sacrificed in order to support your career. You simply could not do your job without him at home doing all the heavy lifting while you get to have play time at work.

In other words, he gets the same as a SAHM

Anonymous wrote:You will probably have to pay alimony for 5-6 years. Sounds like it will be worth it.

Anonymous wrote:Of course youlll have to pay alimony. Until he gets remarried.