Anonymous
Post 06/15/2020 09:07     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Anonymous wrote:I have two kids. 1.5 and just turned 4. Grandmother went ahead and rented a hotel on the beach with a pool to take them for one night. She’s a little absent minded. I won’t get into too many details but she did this to have an overnight with them because they cannot stay at her home (she has a roommate and it’s not negotiable). Aside from the covid concerns I am concerned with her ability to watch two young kids in situations like that. She’s a little absent minded and they cannot swim. She’s very old school in the sense that she thinks “a lifeguard is watching” ... what would you do? She went ahead and booked it without clearing it with us first. It’s a thoughtful gesture because she wants to spend time with the kids but a lot about this situation has given me some anxiety.


You answered your own question.

Your first priority is your kids' safety. Everything else including grandparents' feelings comes a distant second.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2020 09:06     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Well, you have two kids. What are the odds something happens to both of them?

No. Just no.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2020 06:38     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Kids that young don’t need to be with grandma alone for the night
Your kids will miss you - go along with them
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2020 06:32     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
I barely trust our nanny, who has been with us over 3 years and is used to watching our kids, to take them to the pool. I would never let anyone else, particularly someone I think may be anything less than eagle eyed
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 23:40     Subject: Re:Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
No freaking way. It sounds like she is a boundary pusher. You said the kids can't stay at her home because of the roommate, but she pushed for that previously, no? That is how it became a non negotiable? Where is your DH in this? Are you young, that you haven't gotten used to saying no to her ridiculous ideas repeatedly? You know in your guts! She planned it without even asking you, the mother! I am riled up because my mom is also this way, and I am now old enough to know better.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 23:15     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Nope. Nope. Nope.

Only if you and / or your dh are there watching the kids the entire time.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 23:09     Subject: Re:Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
No. I'd be stressed supervising my own kids in that situation.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 22:59     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Absolutely not.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 20:26     Subject: Re:Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
I can’t believe this is even a question. I wouldn’t allow kids those ages to go to a hotel/pool/beach for an overnight with anyone unless I or my spouse/co parent was also there to help. It sounds like she lacks good judgment to make these arrangements at all but especially to make them without talking about it with you first. I’m sure her intentions are good but absolutely no way is this a good idea.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 20:25     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:it doesn't sound like you trust her in general.


I do trust her but she’s a little absent minded. One example, she had a dream to take our child on a train ride and we met her at the stop she was getting off and she got off at the wrong stop and got really frazzled. She’s not older, she’s in her 60’s, but she just is not used to being around small kids all day so it’s a lot. I find it difficult to do things like the beach and pool with my kids and I’m with them everyday and have some systems in place. Also she has a little bit of an old school mentality about things and safety isn’t always the first priority. “My kids ate grapes without cutting them and they lived to tell the story” “My kids didn’t have car seats and they are alive now” kind of mentality..


You don't trust her--and that's okay! Your mistrust isn't coming from a malicious place, it's because she's shown time and time again that she's just not up to taking care of two kids under 5. I don't trust my mom with my kid because she has impaired vision and limited mobility in her arms, despite her claims that "it doesn't affect me much!" She also lives on the water without a gate or anything. Kid could get out the back door and be in the water in seconds. I love my mom. I love my child. And because of that, my mom cannot watch my child.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 20:13     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Of course not.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 20:12     Subject: Re:Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
No- I would not allow this. Today, my mom told me a story about how two years ago my dad was playing tennis with some friends. They heard people screaming for help and a little boy had fallen into the lake. My dad and his friends got the boy out of the lake and started CPR while they waited for the paramedics to come but it was too late. The boy was 2.5 years old and everyone thought someone else was watching him and he wandered off to the lake and fell in. I never heard this story until today, because my dad gets too distressed talking about it.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 18:24     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t she just visit you at your house?


She is in flying distance and I’m not comfortable with her flying and staying with us at this time. We are driving and camping in the way.


You’re worried about flying...but driving, public bathrooms, camping, and staying in a hotel is fine?

Doesn’t make sense, just let her fly in and visit you, even without going to the pool, it’s not going to be pleasant for her to stay with your kids who have just driven a long distance and we’re left without their parents in an unfamiliar hotel. Does your 18 month appointment old even recognize grandma, is she going to be ok being left with her?
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 18:13     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
No. That doesn’t even sound like fun. Just send the 4 yr old with a puddle jumper. They can swim, eat icecream, watch a movie. An 18 mos old won’t even understand.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2020 16:55     Subject: Two young children, can’t swim.. would you allow grandparent to watch them overnight?
She went out of her way -specifically went to some trouble- to arrange to have the children near a pool? No Op.