Anonymous
06/07/2020 09:24
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
If you think $1200 is nothing to a young person, then you are truly the problem here. If you are still obsessing about this and your kids are young adults, it's you, it's not them. You are crazy one here. Based on your three posts, I can't stand you. Pretty sure they can't either.
Anonymous
06/07/2020 01:36
Subject: Re:No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Honestly since this is DCUM and a place for cold hard truths I'm going to go out on a limb and say you are abrasive and pushy and so they hold that against your kids and talk more about the other kids because they are more down to earth.
Just enjoy the time with your family while you still have each other. And teach the kids to be internally motivated and not always waiting for a pat on the head.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 23:36
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is easier to celebrate what you understand.
+1
This is obvious. Also they clearly pick up on your disdain for them. Money can’t buy emotional intelligence.
+2 I also think that many of the things the grandparents are proud of for their other grandchildren are things that they should be proud of. Getting promoted most definitely is worthy of being lauded. Buying a car is exciting.
OP, your kids are missing out because you can't identify with their relatives and you aren't spending the time to get to know them well. Start walking your talk and then maybe your claims will have merit.
Do you brag about your kids all the time and really not acknowledge the others noteworthy achievements? I am in awe of the girl who bought her own car myself.
Maybe they are tired of the years of your bragging? Of soccer trophies, swim team, dance class, etc. Just a possibility.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 23:09
Subject: Re:No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is LCM?
I’m guessing lower middle class. My family is like this too. I’ve solved it by just having a surface relationship. Nothing of substance. Seems to work for them.
My husbands family is LCM and his mom is like this.
My parents celebrate and acknowledge all of the grandkids accomplishments. They are so proud.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 22:08
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you if grandparents or other relatives don’t acknowledge your kids’ achievements or can’t even appreciate how big those awards are? They are from a LCM background and don’t value education or excelling in sports, music, whatever. My kids could win an Intel scholarship, make first chair, Eagle Scout, perfect SAT, state champion in sport, and it’s met with “I’m so proud of (another grandchild) who was just promoted to supervisor at retail job”. Or Larla who dropped out of college is doing so well because she just bought her own used car from waiting tables. They have a blank stare if told about some obscure to them award or achievement of my kids. I feel like my kids are missing out on a close relationship with them bc they can’t identify with them or spend time with them to get to know them well.
In reading between the lines, it appears that you want your child promoted over others. Not very humble OP.
I wonder if OP acknowledges accomplishments like being self sufficient enough to buy a car...
I bet she doesn’t. And likely, she’ll buy her kids their first car. OP has her own narrow minded view of accomplishments.
Hmm, OP here. The kid bought a $1200 car off his uncle. Kid is not self sufficient. I am not buying my kids a car. They don’t need one and if they did, they have more than enough to buy their own. They’ve been working since age 15 and saving most of it.
You're a piece of work OP. A nephew worked hard to earn $1200 and you're sneezing at it? Wow. No wonder your relatives don't like you. I don't like you and I don't even know you.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 20:51
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you if grandparents or other relatives don’t acknowledge your kids’ achievements or can’t even appreciate how big those awards are? They are from a LCM background and don’t value education or excelling in sports, music, whatever. My kids could win an Intel scholarship, make first chair, Eagle Scout, perfect SAT, state champion in sport, and it’s met with “I’m so proud of (another grandchild) who was just promoted to supervisor at retail job”. Or Larla who dropped out of college is doing so well because she just bought her own used car from waiting tables. They have a blank stare if told about some obscure to them award or achievement of my kids. I feel like my kids are missing out on a close relationship with them bc they can’t identify with them or spend time with them to get to know them well.
In reading between the lines, it appears that you want your child promoted over others. Not very humble OP.
I wonder if OP acknowledges accomplishments like being self sufficient enough to buy a car...
I bet she doesn’t. And likely, she’ll buy her kids their first car. OP has her own narrow minded view of accomplishments.
Hmm, OP here. The kid bought a $1200 car off his uncle. Kid is not self sufficient. I am not buying my kids a car. They don’t need one and if they did, they have more than enough to buy their own. They’ve been working since age 15 and saving most of it.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 20:44
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you if grandparents or other relatives don’t acknowledge your kids’ achievements or can’t even appreciate how big those awards are? They are from a LCM background and don’t value education or excelling in sports, music, whatever. My kids could win an Intel scholarship, make first chair, Eagle Scout, perfect SAT, state champion in sport, and it’s met with “I’m so proud of (another grandchild) who was just promoted to supervisor at retail job”. Or Larla who dropped out of college is doing so well because she just bought her own used car from waiting tables. They have a blank stare if told about some obscure to them award or achievement of my kids. I feel like my kids are missing out on a close relationship with them bc they can’t identify with them or spend time with them to get to know them well.
In reading between the lines, it appears that you want your child promoted over others. Not very humble OP.
I wonder if OP acknowledges accomplishments like being self sufficient enough to buy a car...
I bet she doesn’t. And likely, she’ll buy her kids their first car. OP has her own narrow minded view of accomplishments.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 20:10
Subject: Re:No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Just because they don't meet your standard of what family should do doesn't mean they are wrong. Why haven't you learned that by now? No one cares as much about your kids as you do. Why do you need them to praise your kids? It's clear you despise them and I'm sure they can tell. Move on. Create the family you want.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 17:39
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you if grandparents or other relatives don’t acknowledge your kids’ achievements or can’t even appreciate how big those awards are? They are from a LCM background and don’t value education or excelling in sports, music, whatever. My kids could win an Intel scholarship, make first chair, Eagle Scout, perfect SAT, state champion in sport, and it’s met with “I’m so proud of (another grandchild) who was just promoted to supervisor at retail job”. Or Larla who dropped out of college is doing so well because she just bought her own used car from waiting tables. They have a blank stare if told about some obscure to them award or achievement of my kids. I feel like my kids are missing out on a close relationship with them bc they can’t identify with them or spend time with them to get to know them well.
In reading between the lines, it appears that you want your child promoted over others. Not very humble OP.
I wonder if OP acknowledges accomplishments like being self sufficient enough to buy a car...
Anonymous
06/06/2020 17:32
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you if grandparents or other relatives don’t acknowledge your kids’ achievements or can’t even appreciate how big those awards are? They are from a LCM background and don’t value education or excelling in sports, music, whatever. My kids could win an Intel scholarship, make first chair, Eagle Scout, perfect SAT, state champion in sport, and it’s met with “I’m so proud of (another grandchild) who was just promoted to supervisor at retail job”. Or Larla who dropped out of college is doing so well because she just bought her own used car from waiting tables. They have a blank stare if told about some obscure to them award or achievement of my kids. I feel like my kids are missing out on a close relationship with them bc they can’t identify with them or spend time with them to get to know them well.
In reading between the lines, it appears that you want your child promoted over others. Not very humble OP.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 16:50
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
For Small Town folk, if you move away, you're dead to them.
A bit of an exaggeration but I found the behavior, their outlook quite shocking. When ILs talked of friends moving so far away, I thought maybe the people had moved to another country, when instead it was just up the road 100 miles.
A bit of an exaggeration but I found the behavior, their outlook quite shocking. When ILs talked of friends moving so far away, I thought maybe the people had moved to another country, when instead it was just up the road 100 miles.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 15:23
Subject: Re:No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
You have my sympathies OP. Most of my extended family did not value education or careers. When my cousins got engaged or pregnant, it was celebrated like the second coming of Christ, even if they were just teenagers or in their early 20s! Meanwhile, academic and professional accomplishments were barely acknowledged at all. My mom and aunt had to explain to my grandmother why getting into college was such a huge deal for me, after she simply said, "That's nice. Did you hear that cousin so-and-so is pregnant again?" when I told her about my first college acceptance letter.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 15:17
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, read up on "crabs in a bucket" to understand the way some people react to other's successes.
+1
Thank you. This nails the mentality I have seen a lot of here.
This. I'm from a LMC family and "crabs in a bucket" describes it well. You could have heard the silence when I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. (Thankfully my parents and sibling were supportive.)
They just don't care OP, and when they do, it's definitely not positive.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 15:13
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:OP, read up on "crabs in a bucket" to understand the way some people react to other's successes.
+1
Thank you. This nails the mentality I have seen a lot of here.
Anonymous
06/06/2020 15:03
Subject: No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements
Anonymous wrote:OP, read up on "crabs in a bucket" to understand the way some people react to other's successes.
Lack of praise isn’t dragging someone else down. Grandchildren aren’t owed praise.