Anonymous
Post 05/30/2020 16:50     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:Op here - figured out a solution and just found a temporary nanny for the 2 weeks before my parents come who is happy to stay with us for the 2 weeks. Turns out it’s not hard at all to find someone willing to fully socially distance right now given a lot of people feel it’s the best thing to be doing. Giving my nanny the 2 weeks plus the week my parents are here off (paid) and planning to keep her overall but I am glad to know there are so many people willing to distance if our current nanny starts taking on more risk than my family can take (going to restaurants and bars whenever they reopen etc)

Separately I always find the posts that you can’t require anything of nannies beyond their working hours strange. I never have but wanting to do so doesn’t suddenly make it crazy. many many jobs have all sorts of restrictions on what you can do in your free time, whether for the safety of those you’re working with or for the image of the company. Especially now as companies are calling people back to work they are putting in restrictions that you’re not allowed to do large events in your free time and if you do you have to take unpaid leave. Fair or not many companies reach far into their employees personal lives and time



There are a couple ridiculously immature nannies on this forum, OP. They see employers as parents and think any restriction is an affront to their freedom. Ignore them.

I am a nanny and I’ve never even known another nanny who wouldn’t put the health of her charge first (thus happily accept strict limitation on interactions during an epidemic). We all truly love our charges. I know, for myself, that it’s worth being totally alone on weekends and evenings to do my part to keep my darling little guy healthy.

I’m glad you found someone, OP, but I’m not surprised.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2020 15:46     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Op here - figured out a solution and just found a temporary nanny for the 2 weeks before my parents come who is happy to stay with us for the 2 weeks. Turns out it’s not hard at all to find someone willing to fully socially distance right now given a lot of people feel it’s the best thing to be doing. Giving my nanny the 2 weeks plus the week my parents are here off (paid) and planning to keep her overall but I am glad to know there are so many people willing to distance if our current nanny starts taking on more risk than my family can take (going to restaurants and bars whenever they reopen etc)

Separately I always find the posts that you can’t require anything of nannies beyond their working hours strange. I never have but wanting to do so doesn’t suddenly make it crazy. many many jobs have all sorts of restrictions on what you can do in your free time, whether for the safety of those you’re working with or for the image of the company. Especially now as companies are calling people back to work they are putting in restrictions that you’re not allowed to do large events in your free time and if you do you have to take unpaid leave. Fair or not many companies reach far into their employees personal lives and time
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2020 23:13     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised all of you think a live-in nanny situation is a total solution. I mean, the live-in nanny is still free to.... visit her sister when she isn't working?

Sorry OP. Your nanny is a free person who is engaging in perfectly legal activity. If you aren't comfortable with it, you can find a new nanny or do what millions of others are doing, taking care of their kids while working.


No, we’re saying to pay the nanny to quarantine with them. Nanny may do anything she likes at home during “off” hours, but she’s being paid to stay at home with them. She’s technically on the clock 24/7, so they can do ell her what she’s not allowed to do.

And yes; some nannies will do it. I’ve worked 24/7 twice, 24/5 once. With the right family, it works.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 22:40     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in Los Angeles and haven’t left the house except for work in 78 days. Groceries delivered. No friends. Nothing. If your nanny cares about your kids and your family, she will do the same. It’s not hard. Either you care about other people or you don’t.



+1. I am also a nanny in Los Angeles and both feel and act exactly as you do. I love my charge and my employers.

That said, I wouldn’t continue working for them unless they respected me by doing the same. They live as I live.


Exactly. Once my boss starts doing playdates, I’m starting to see my friends again. Thankfully for now we are all staying home completely.



If my boss started doing play dates, I would quit. I don’t want to get it either!
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 22:38     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I used to buy groceries for my nanny family but told them I wouldn’t do it anymore. They don’t know, but I still go out once a week to buy my own. There’s a big difference between me shopping for myself and going shopping for a family of 5 with the parents home all day and the mom wants things like saffron and hard to find gluten free foods, and used to make me go to the store 2-3x a week. So other than groceries, I stay home but I tell my boss I stay home completely. Maybe if she paid me more I could afford grocery delivery, but I can’t so I go to the store. I’m a free person.



It has nothing to do with being “a free person”, PP. It’s childish and stupid to lie. Stand up for yourself and tell your employer the truth. You need to go shopping for yourself - end of discussion. Lying causes mistrust and should be beneath you.


My boss is unreasonable and will expect me to do their groceries if I do mine. I don’t need to get fired for buying lettuce. I don’t need to go broke with instacart. I’m going to the store once a week to buy my own personal groceries. Everyone is doing it and I don’t need to have a discussion with my boss about that! I am social distancing other than the grocery store.



The PP is saying don’t lie. She’s right - it will never serve you. Maybe it’s time to look for another job.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:47     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in Los Angeles and haven’t left the house except for work in 78 days. Groceries delivered. No friends. Nothing. If your nanny cares about your kids and your family, she will do the same. It’s not hard. Either you care about other people or you don’t.



+1. I am also a nanny in Los Angeles and both feel and act exactly as you do. I love my charge and my employers.

That said, I wouldn’t continue working for them unless they respected me by doing the same. They live as I live.


Exactly. Once my boss starts doing playdates, I’m starting to see my friends again. Thankfully for now we are all staying home completely.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:46     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Ours sees her boyfriend. She's in her 40s. Honestly we are a probably a bigger risk to her since we both still go to work and dh is in a cube farm at a govt facility and I'm at the office (usually don't see anyone all day though). We wear masks and practice social distancing but still get groceries etc. We don't see friends at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:46     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I used to buy groceries for my nanny family but told them I wouldn’t do it anymore. They don’t know, but I still go out once a week to buy my own. There’s a big difference between me shopping for myself and going shopping for a family of 5 with the parents home all day and the mom wants things like saffron and hard to find gluten free foods, and used to make me go to the store 2-3x a week. So other than groceries, I stay home but I tell my boss I stay home completely. Maybe if she paid me more I could afford grocery delivery, but I can’t so I go to the store. I’m a free person.



It has nothing to do with being “a free person”, PP. It’s childish and stupid to lie. Stand up for yourself and tell your employer the truth. You need to go shopping for yourself - end of discussion. Lying causes mistrust and should be beneath you.


My boss is unreasonable and will expect me to do their groceries if I do mine. I don’t need to get fired for buying lettuce. I don’t need to go broke with instacart. I’m going to the store once a week to buy my own personal groceries. Everyone is doing it and I don’t need to have a discussion with my boss about that! I am social distancing other than the grocery store.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:45     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny in Los Angeles and haven’t left the house except for work in 78 days. Groceries delivered. No friends. Nothing. If your nanny cares about your kids and your family, she will do the same. It’s not hard. Either you care about other people or you don’t.



+1. I am also a nanny in Los Angeles and both feel and act exactly as you do. I love my charge and my employers.

That said, I wouldn’t continue working for them unless they respected me by doing the same. They live as I live.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:45     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
The Nanny has to eat. What does the parents think the Nanny is doing for food?
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:42     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:I used to buy groceries for my nanny family but told them I wouldn’t do it anymore. They don’t know, but I still go out once a week to buy my own. There’s a big difference between me shopping for myself and going shopping for a family of 5 with the parents home all day and the mom wants things like saffron and hard to find gluten free foods, and used to make me go to the store 2-3x a week. So other than groceries, I stay home but I tell my boss I stay home completely. Maybe if she paid me more I could afford grocery delivery, but I can’t so I go to the store. I’m a free person.



It has nothing to do with being “a free person”, PP. It’s childish and stupid to lie. Stand up for yourself and tell your employer the truth. You need to go shopping for yourself - end of discussion. Lying causes mistrust and should be beneath you.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:16     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
I used to buy groceries for my nanny family but told them I wouldn’t do it anymore. They don’t know, but I still go out once a week to buy my own. There’s a big difference between me shopping for myself and going shopping for a family of 5 with the parents home all day and the mom wants things like saffron and hard to find gluten free foods, and used to make me go to the store 2-3x a week. So other than groceries, I stay home but I tell my boss I stay home completely. Maybe if she paid me more I could afford grocery delivery, but I can’t so I go to the store. I’m a free person.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:12     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Pp again- I’m also 31, so old enough to be mature. I suggest getting a new nanny and over 30. All of my nanny friends are social distancing, except for work. To go visit her family and friends is insane when she works with kids. I haven’t even seen my own mother and she lives 20 miles away.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:10     Subject: what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
I’m a nanny in Los Angeles and haven’t left the house except for work in 78 days. Groceries delivered. No friends. Nothing. If your nanny cares about your kids and your family, she will do the same. It’s not hard. Either you care about other people or you don’t.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2020 20:09     Subject: Re:what are you comfortable with your nanny doing now re social distancing? what if they don't agree?
Anonymous wrote:You need to find a nanny who, at least, says she’s on the same page regarding COVID protocols as you are.


This. You can not control what she does outside of work hours, so this is really about trusting nanny's judgment and character. Do you trust her to make smart decisions when she's not with you? Because there are going to be a ton of unexpected things that come up that you won't even think to have COVID rules for in advance. For example, an emergency home repair, an urgent doctor's visit or friends unexpectedly showing up to visit.

It's also really important that your household and nanny's household abide by the same limits. I don't ask nanny to live by any limits that I am not also living by. It means we've turned down doing some things because of our agreement, but that's ok.