I'd just try to limit our chats. If you have siblings with kids, boast about them when she changes the topic to her other grandkid so she can see, effectively that you don't really care about this non-blood relative to you. Perhaps then she will see that she's doing the same thing. I'd let DH do the boasting, or not. When she tries to draw something out of you next time and asks why you don't share I'd just advise that I'm proud of her and not into hearing comparisons about that other kid.

When she mentions your niece you say “It’s so nice you know all the details about K. We need to do a better job keeping you updated on E. So you know her stats too”

I’m apparently supposed to feel bad for my SIL right now...who doesn’t work and has a nanny because she had a breakdown over the corona virus stuff the other day. We are the same age, have children the same age. I work full time and have no nanny. But I’m supposed to reach out and offer help. Right.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you talking to your in-laws? I learned early on my in-laws only cared about Dh and my kids. They don’t care about me at all so I don’t call and we don’t talk about me. I’m just the baby vessel. Also, my in-laws will always say my kids look like them even when they’re spitting images of me. All grandparents think that way. Basically in-laws are not your friend. Get compliments from your own parents.

News flash … it sounds like you only care about you so they know that you've got that covered. They're focusing on the people in your life who DO need some attention.