Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was a donor some years ago. I would advise against it. The cases where the dad has later been on the hook to support the kid are always when he had some form of existing relationship with the mom. I would definitely consult an attorney.
While her request is flattering, there are plenty of high quality donors out there for her to use.
I agree. I see no reason for someone to go with a friend for a donor. Especially one who obviously has no interest in forming any type of parental relationship. That is just going to be confusing for the kid.
Why would it be more confusing for the child than an anonymous donor? In fact, most of the research out there shows that some level of openness with the donor is better for the child’s psychology and self-identity than fully anonymous donation.
I am reading studies on that. I think the confusion could well be, if we were to connect as his biological father, but I was taking no responsibility for supporting him or assuming a father relationship, he/she could be confused and feel devalued.
I am a donor dad. Did not know the moms. The kids, when they reached 18, started reaching out to me. I have no responsibility to support them or be their father, but I do have a relationship with them (email and in person). Don’t know how to describe it, but I don’t think it’s confusing for them who I am.