My husband and I hate going outside to "play catch" or go for a walk with kids. But we have other strengths and tend to choose things we like to do ourselves and include our children. For instance, my husband loves coloring (to relax), so he buys coloring books for him and for the kids and great gel pens and they will sit together and color. We don't force them, but they want to because they want to do something with their father (not all the time, mind you). He will go out and take the children for an ice cream. He likes legos, so he buys some kits and work together with the youngest (oldest not interested). Since covid, I have subscribed to science kits for the older and younger child and he works with them on that... this type of stuff. But to be honest, aside the coloring and lego, I have to plan those things and "tell" him to do it with the kids (he would much rather play his video game).

He doesn't mind doing it with the kids and enjoys the activity once he is doing, just not think about these type of stuff and/or plan for them. So I have to spoon feed it for him.

I do my own thing with the children based on my interests and strengths and we both take turns doing the stuff we do not like but are necessary, like taking the youngest outside to play/scooter/bike etc since she needs supervision. Thank God the oldest can do all that on her own!

But to be honest, for the most part we just tell the children, even the 5y old, to "go play!" She may complain about playing by herself or not knowing what to play for 10 min or so, but eventually finds something to entertain herself and I can hear her making up stories and voices while playing with her toys. To the older child, I mostly say "go read, draw or go for a bike ride!" It works for us.


Maybe you should just spoon feed your husband activities - "I got this lego set for you guys to work together" or "I want you to take DS for a bike ride/scooter today" or "I want you to take DS for an ice cream" but also you should start training your DS to learn to play by himself and entertain himself with his toys or coloring or play doh, etc.

We don't need to be our children's entertainers. We do this activities together not to entertain them, but to spend quality time together and foster a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:No. He’s always been like this. We got round it before with structured activities.

This is why I don’t like too many structured activities at a young age. They are an excuse for the parent to check out and stare at their phone. At best, the parent basically repeats whatever the instructor says. It’s better to interact organically.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been great, I'm the slug. When my baby goes down for a nap I send my older two down into the basement playroom so I can work on a house project. They pretty much trash the playroom but I get my work done. I really feel sorry for someone with an only child because my kids have their own built in playmate.

We don't need your pity.

My husband has been great, I'm the slug. When my baby goes down for a nap I send my older two down into the basement playroom so I can work on a house project. They pretty much trash the playroom but I get my work done. I really feel sorry for someone with an only child because my kids have their own built in playmate.

Sorry, OP, but really glad I'm not seeing a bunch of "Just let him parent the way he does and you parent the way you do/Why so uptight about screen time, I watched 53 hours of Scooby-Doo every day and went to Harvard/It's fine, men just don't know how to interact with kids until they get a little older and more interactive, like 23."

I'm always less concerned with the screen time itself and more concerned that the parent has seemingly *completely* checked out and/or can't think of literally anything else the kid could do without him (you don't always have to interact with or entertain your kids!)

Anonymous wrote:I just needed a day of downtime - I was worn out. Also I was semi-testing to see whether DH literally has no problem with being on electronics for 9 hours straight. We went to an MD beach on Saturday - it was open and the parking lot was open so, we went and stayed away from other people. I agree about the store but was just so glad my DH was doing SOMETHING with DS that I didn't say anything. But yes, to myself I was like WTF would you take him to the store...

Wonder if your dh is one of those people who can't think for themselves and needs a routine. Could you prompt DS to ask dad to throw him a ball or do some other outdoor activity at about the same time everyday (when DH is not working) or on the weekends? It sucks you have to do this, maybe once you get him into a routine, he will stick with it and not think about it (like dragging a kid to the store, or showing up at a certain time to take DS to activities?)

I just needed a day of downtime - I was worn out. Also I was semi-testing to see whether DH literally has no problem with being on electronics for 9 hours straight. We went to an MD beach on Saturday - it was open and the parking lot was open so, we went and stayed away from other people. I agree about the store but was just so glad my DH was doing SOMETHING with DS that I didn't say anything. But yes, to myself I was like WTF would you take him to the store...