Anonymous wrote:I am PP of last 2 posts. As someone who has friends in both Waldorf (actually I started avoiding her bc too much Kool Aid) and Montessori, I usually find both types pretty annoying due to how superior they act. And the lack of diversity is true.

How funny! The M school my youngest attends is majority East Asian (or half East Asian), plus a black girl and a South Asian kid. There are eight kids in his class and only two whites. No socioeconomic diversity really, but that’s true everywhere since it’s so $$.

The superior attitude is definitely encouraged, though. We chose the school for the commute (wound up loving it), but my older two weren’t in an M school so I know it’s not all there is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here the local Waldorf school has a vaccine rate of 66%. Um, no thanks. I can't tell you anything else about it because that was a deal breaker for me, and perhaps might sway them in these times (and I know because our local health department publishes vaccine rates for schools. maybe yours does as well).

Honestly, Montessori schools differ a lot depending on how closely they implement the philosophies. Have you actually toured any in your area? That might be all you need to do to come up with your own list of cons. Obviously, it will be a while before you can do so. (I toured two near me years ago and one was teacher was clearly overwhelmed responding to all of the students, and in the other the teacher spent the entire time berating students for the positioning of their little work carpets.)

And if you love it, and they love it, ask them to pay for it.

That was my reasoning too.

Where do you get the vaccination rates for private schools? Is this public information?

Anonymous wrote:100% agree with PPs. You don't want a well-reasoned argument, you want exit strategies.

FIL: "I heard kids at Waldorf schools attend Harvard at twice the rate of public school kids"
You: Oh, interesting.

MIL: "Montesorri has a philosophy of turning children into award-winning artists by third grade. What does your school do?"
You: Oh, interesting. I'm not sure.

Just be non-committal. No need to be rude, no need to shut them down (unless it gets personal), but just let it slide right off. "Oh." "Interesting." "I'll have to think about that." "I'm not sure."

I agree, but instead of “oh interesting” you can make your standard answer “oh it’s way too expensive in this area. We can’t afford it.” They can’t argue with dollars and cents.

I would say, however, that if you can afford it, or if your ILs are offering to pay, you owe it to your children to do the due diligence on these philosophies And schools rather than getting turned off by a couple of parents you know. When I was starting my kids in preschool, we weren’t sure if we could afford $$$ schools but I still did my research on everything within a 10 mile radius. Ultimately we decided against Montessori and Waldorf (went for a $$$ play-based school instead) but if anyone were to question me about it, I would be able to clearly articulate my reasons rather than sourcing them from DCUM.

I took my kids to mommy and me Waldorf and met the most uptight neurotic parents I've ever met anywhere. I think they were there in hope of an antidote. Seriously pole up ass time.

Anonymous wrote:Here the local Waldorf school has a vaccine rate of 66%. Um, no thanks. I can't tell you anything else about it because that was a deal breaker for me, and perhaps might sway them in these times (and I know because our local health department publishes vaccine rates for schools. maybe yours does as well).

Honestly, Montessori schools differ a lot depending on how closely they implement the philosophies. Have you actually toured any in your area? That might be all you need to do to come up with your own list of cons. Obviously, it will be a while before you can do so. (I toured two near me years ago and one was teacher was clearly overwhelmed responding to all of the students, and in the other the teacher spent the entire time berating students for the positioning of their little work carpets.)

And if you love it, and they love it, ask them to pay for it.

That was my reasoning too.

My kids are both in college/grad school now but when I toured both types of schools years ago...

Waldorf: seed pods were floating through the air and the admission person pointed out to some middle school aged students that the seed pods were "fairy dust"

Montessori: saw young children happily dissecting plants, labeling all the flower parts, and writing in their journals about all the plants they found that day.

Choice was obvious to me.

I am PP of last 2 posts. As someone who has friends in both Waldorf (actually I started avoiding her bc too much Kool Aid) and Montessori, I usually find both types pretty annoying due to how superior they act. And the lack of diversity is true.

Waldorf: hippie, anti-technology (they encourage no screens), all wood toys with no faces, spiritually-influenced, no reading until older, high rates of anti-vaxx

Montessori: left-leaning, yuppie, independent learning so not as group oriented, not good for hyperactive types

Your parents sound like liberals if they are into Waldorf and Montessori. So just say that for your local schools you’ve heard that they are not integrated enough and you prefer your kids to interact and befriend brown people.

I wonder if your in-laws are aware of the Montessori accreditation process. It's extensive, and there are watered-down US accreditations and a stricter international/real-deal Italian accreditation -- and those are in addition to the countless "Montessori" schools that use "Montessori approaches/methods" but aren't actually Montessori-accredited at all. Most Montessori schools I looked at fell in to the last category. Depending on where you live, very few actually have the true international accreditation.

So you could say you've researched it carefully and given the lack of AMI-accredited options available to you, you've ruled it out. Don't know what to tell you about Waldorf as there apparently aren't any where I live and/or that never crossed my radar.

It sounds like you're being contrarian for no real reason. Why don't you take some time to read about these approaches, as well as some others, and decide what you think is best for your child? How would you feel if years later you learned more about one of them and realized that would have been ideal for your child's development? Just because your family thinks it's great doesn't mean it isn't. Here in DC, there are free Montessori options in both charters and DCPS. So your argument about the cost isn't really valid. Granted, you'd have to lottery in or whatever, but plenty of people manage to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them about the freaky faceless dolls and the songs to woodland spirits in Waldorf.

Say what?

Now I’m curious about what’s going on at those schools?! Tell me more!

Honestly, that's all you need to know.

Anonymous wrote:Waldorf and Montessori have very different educational philosophies. I’ve never known anyone who loved (or was that strong a proponent) of both.

I think they just want to complain and criticize.

+1. They just want to criticize, or think that public is per se bad and rather than say private school is better, they pretend it's about the educational philosophies.

Don't argue with them. Just let them talk, nod and say, "Mmmhmmm." Don't engage at all. If they really push it, say, "We're very happy with our kids' schools." If they keep going, go back to nodding and saying "Mmmmmhmmmm." Feel free to visibly tune out, start checking your phone, whatever. You're not going to persuade them so don't act like it's a subject worth debating.

Waldorf and Montessori are so different- I’m surprised they are proponents of both. Maybe they just prefer a private school over public, whatever it is...

I agree with the prior poster that Montessori schools have a lot of variety to them. The philosophy was developed for poor children, but here in the USA it's mainly rich kids whose parents can afford to send them. DC has some public schools that use the Montessori method, so not all are private. What I would say is that the AP-focused insane "normal" alternative is a mess. If I could do it all over again, I'd send my kid to Montessori or some other more child-centered school all the way through 12th grade in order to avoid the rat race. Hopefully, things will have changed by the time your child is in high school. I certainly hope so for everybody's sake. You owe it to yourself to explore this option, especially if they'd help pay. You may find that you like it once you compare it to the alternative. I'd avoid the weirdo Waldorf thing though.