If he’s “giddy” about it, I would go and use a tent/RV solution as suggested. This has been so hard on everyone. I would not want to take it from my DH.

Ten years ago my ILs bought a 2BR condo near a vacation community- near, not in and imagined that they’d be years of
FAMILY FUN for all. When the condo was new they’d invite us ALL/my own family of 5 to join THEM.

Did this exactly once and never again. Claustrophobic with zero privacy. Not at all relaxing. Sure, if you have a baby who could sleep in a Pack n play and maybe for an overnight...but sorry, trying this with 3 teenagers is unworkable and not at all fun. My ILs have come to an unspoken realization so have eased up on the constant reunion vacation a bit but still don’t understand that their place is not feasible for more than 3 people.

I'd refuse to go. You'll hate it every minute there, so why would you subject yourself to this, and why would he drag you to something he knows you would hate? If you guys cannot come up with a reasonable solution, then there are much bigger problems in your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I have been in this situation with my husband’s family many, many times. A couple of years ago, I just acknowledged the deep misery the situation caused me - the isolation,
Lack of privacy, awkward forced intimacy, not to mention the hunger, discomfort, and boredom!!! - and stopped going.

My husband and kids can still enjoy it, but I am a hard no.

To add - I don’t mind roughing it and I love camping, hiking, and Not showering. It’s being forced to hang out with my in laws in such close quarters. One time, my MIL came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth and started peeing. Full stop. Having to listen to the Snap of my sister in law’s panties as she changes clothes? Not cool. Too. Much.

It’s different when it’s your nuclear family, once your kids are
Grown and married, you HAVE to HAVE a bigger house or no one is going to visit.

I would divorce him. He gets that stupid cabin in the divorce. The only way to stop the divorce is for him to build a PROPER house at his precious lake.

Sort of kidding, but only barely. I. Do. NOT. Camp. I told my husband this when we were dating. I warned him it would never, ever happen. I don't enjoy "roughing it". So I totally feel for you. Everything about it sounds awful to me - no shower, barely any plumbing, so many people in a tiny house, stranded in the middle of nowhere.

I'd have told him after hearing about it the first time he can go for a weekend, but otherwise, that's a firm no. I would never ever go.

I love a lot of togetherness and maybe a touch of rustic. The more rustic, the less together I can handle though and I am a full on extrovert who LOVES group travel. This is a lot of elements to deal with at once, OP!

I have been in this situation with my husband’s family many, many times. A couple of years ago, I just acknowledged the deep misery the situation caused me - the isolation,
Lack of privacy, awkward forced intimacy, not to mention the hunger, discomfort, and boredom!!! - and stopped going.

My husband and kids can still enjoy it, but I am a hard no.

I would not go either. Send DH

If you enjoy real camping, I’d go. I do not like real camping and roughing it so he’ll no I would not go.

No way I would go. Sounds annoying and claustrophobic. Let dH go if he really wants to then you could have absolute peace at home. This is a major Covid risk though so you could use that as an excuse not to go even though you are not required to provide an excuse.

I would invent a work emergency and NOT GO.

Renting an RV is the best solution I have read if your willing to break social distancing.

It's telling op that you don't mention concerns about covid. Troll away.

I wouldn’t go. This sounds like pure unadulterated misery.

I almost had an anxiety attack just reading that. And I don't even have anxiety. Nor am I generally prone to it.

I can't even fathom why anyone would do this, it sounds awful in so many ways. Not to mention insane during a global pandemic. The PP who above who would "suck it up" to make their spouse giddy must be not be watching the news from around the world.

Just no. It's dangerous. Next year is next year's problem--maybe there's a vaccine, maybe not. But this year? Are you kidding me? No F*_king way.