Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:20     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:The problem Is that it comes with an age connotation, but “sir” doesn’t. There’s no polite address for women that does not bring a presumption of age (Ms. is not something you can use as a replacement because “Excuse me, Ms.” doesn’t make sense.) A Woman’s age (whether it’s a younger age for Miss or an older age with Ma’am) also carries a judgment in our society.


This is me, and I want to add that the reason the military ma’am is a little better is because since it is always used, it takes the age issue out of it.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:17     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
The problem Is that it comes with an age connotation, but “sir” doesn’t. There’s no polite address for women that does not bring a presumption of age (Ms. is not something you can use as a replacement because “Excuse me, Ms.” doesn’t make sense.) A Woman’s age (whether it’s a younger age for Miss or an older age with Ma’am) also carries a judgment in our society.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:16     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
I don't mind it. I greet everyone at work all the time and most of the male staff will reply "Good morning, ma'am" but some say "Hello miss!" I don't mind either. I prefer those to "hey" or "yeah." The female staff usually reply with "Good morning!"
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:16     Subject: Re:Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Excuse me ma’am is considered rude.

Excuse me miss is preferred.

Yes ma’am is not considered rude.


Not true for me. I am over 40. Please do not call me “miss” in any situation. It is condescending.


I would agree to this.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:14     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:So what do you want to be called in situations where interaction is just passing such as with wait staff in a restaurant or the clerk at the courthouse? Someplace where use of first name is not appropriate and no one knows your last name?


If the situation calls for an address and "your highness" seems too formal, ma'am will do. Just don't call me miss.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:13     Subject: Re:Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:In the military, sir and ma'am are used always.


At all ages.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:12     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
So what do you want to be called in situations where interaction is just passing such as with wait staff in a restaurant or the clerk at the courthouse? Someplace where use of first name is not appropriate and no one knows your last name?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:07     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:Since I work with the military, I am SO used to it.

20 years ago, it seemed odd because I was so young.

Now, I think it is sweet and polite/formal.


Same here.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 21:05     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
It depends on the context. If it is a kid being polite, then fine. If it is an adult, implying I'm old, then no.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 20:57     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Since I work with the military, I am SO used to it.

20 years ago, it seemed odd because I was so young.

Now, I think it is sweet and polite/formal.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 19:37     Subject: Re:Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Excuse me ma’am is considered rude.

Excuse me miss is preferred.

Yes ma’am is not considered rude.


Not true for me. I am over 40. Please do not call me “miss” in any situation. It is condescending.


I agree, but so many women have a weird attitude toward aging. My MIL in her mid 60’s is obsessed with aging and trying to look young. Most women like that are fooling no one.


And do you know why? Because at a certain age we are ignored, invisible and dismissed That's why. If you are an older man you are "distinguished" and sir can be used if you are young and old. I'm not a miss but, I am not a Ma'am.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 19:35     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:No. I’m a mature woman, not a young lady. If I were an unmarried 20-something, I would prefer “miss”.

Any woman over appx. 30 should be called “ma’am”.


This is where I politely disagree. If someone does not like it than it is not considered polite. Ma'am please stop speaking for everyone over a "certain" age.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 19:33     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:I'm hearing that calling a woman "ma'am" is degrading. My 50yo husband runs a company that builds homes and often, kindly and in normal conversation, calls female clients "ma'am" or the men "sir." The age group of his clients are normally 35+. People are extremely sensitive these days and we certainly would not want to offend anyone. What's your viewpoint?


I don't really like it but, I understand that people do it out of respect. Just wish there was another word because it feels like nails on a chalkboard to me. I actually prefer a more informal setting and if they called me by my first name ( after asking)
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 19:28     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:No, I consider it polite, but I am from the south.

I have called women ma'am in the DC area and they seem to get offended--I was called ma'am in my 20s in the south by people younger than me, so never even thought about it! It seems strange to call a 60 year old woman "miss" but that seems to be what they want here. (I still prefer Ma'am.)



I am also from the south and think it sounds dated and do not like it.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2020 19:26     Subject: Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?
Anonymous wrote:I am not offended, because I recognize that it is an attempt to be polite, but I DO NOT LIKE IT. And, I know I'm not alone. Tell your husband that he's better off not using it just in case.


Agree. Sounds very dated.