I loved it before I was a mom - I'd get my mom a card and flowers and make an elaborate homemade brunch. Now that I am an exhausted mom of small kids, it's just another thing on my to do list.

Usually a pulled in too many directions day for me. Like PP it is a balancing act to please Mom, Step-mom and MIL. Then in all the rushing around to please others, DD is quiet and withdrawn. With the way our custody schedule is we seldom have a weekend day together. She wants both quality and quantity time on this day. Sort of amusing this year it will be much more laid back, but will stand out less as we have had oodles of quieter home days together now.

DD did get my attention a few years back when in transition from one grandparent to the next she asked "What about you?What about us? What about our Mother's day?"

It has become a day where all my mom figures communicate they feel they are getting gypped for time and attention. My daughter also feels she is competing for it. I pop a smile on and accept it is a day all will be left feeling disappointed. Silly really.

I hate it and would much rather have it not exist at all. I spend the whole lead up to the day being anxious about doing something adequate from my mom and stepmom (both of whom will get touchy if I don't strike the right note). And I also get anxious that DH will do nothing. I have a great DH who loves me and is fantastic 99.9% of the time. But it sucks when people ask what people are doing for you for mothers day and you have to say nothing. So I tell him, do something so I don't have to say that. So it is just a lot of people checking boxes unenthusiastically and another set of people having to accept overtures graciously kind of knowing that they are being given unenthusiastically.

Treat people good all the time and you don't need a performative holiday.

I enjoy MOther's Day mainly because I get to sleep in and we go out for a nice brunch and do something that I choose, like a hike or trip to a museum. We call my Mom and MIL but we don't do much more than that. My husband asks me what I would like and I send him a list. We end up using Mother's Day and Father's Day as a chance to get some practical things that the family needs or would be fun and one or two special things for the specific person.

I get that the day can be hard for some people because their Mothers were abusive or negligent. they feel like the world is telling them that their Mom was great because the world is celebrating Moms. For others it is hard because they want to be Mom's and have not been able to conceive. For some it is hard because their Moms have passed. I hope that those people have a good support system that can help them navigate those painful issues and get to a point where they can enjoy the day as a day and not feel that level of pain.

Anonymous wrote:I kinda get where OP is coming from. My mother is probably autistic. She was always cold, unfeeling, detached, didn't like being a parent. Really liked working at her office. In her old age she has this nasty little dog that she is extremely attached to. She spoils the dog and.is much nicer to the dog than she ever was to us. Every year I scan the mother's day cards and can't find one appropriate for her since they all describe kind and friendly people.

Ditto on the cards. I don’t even shop for a store-bought anymore; they just make me sad. I send flowers or a gift—but no card that sings her praises. No can do.

My DH and kids are fairly low-key on Mother’s Day, and that’s fine with me. DH brings me a Sunday NYT and coffee in bed and makes sure I get a few hours to myself to read it all. Anything after that is icing.

Yes, I enjoy it. My kids are so sweet and I love getting their handmade cards and breakfast in bed. Plus DH does all poopy diapers and I get whatever I want for dinner. I usually get some time on my own as well. It’s nice to feel special.

My mom died long before I became a mother myself and I still don’t like Mother’s Day.

I think I get you, OP. Mother's Day grates on me, because other people really adore their moms, and I can't stand mine. This whole "all moms are saints to be put on pedestals" vibe, when being a mom is almost quite literally the most common thing in the world. Child birth is no joke, but almost anyone can do it. Does not make anyone a hero by itself.

A wonderful mom, though. Priceless. I will never know the feeling of having that.

I kinda get where OP is coming from. My mother is probably autistic. She was always cold, unfeeling, detached, didn't like being a parent. Really liked working at her office. In her old age she has this nasty little dog that she is extremely attached to. She spoils the dog and.is much nicer to the dog than she ever was to us. Every year I scan the mother's day cards and can't find one appropriate for her since they all describe kind and friendly people.

I like it. My DD10 loves remembering birthdays and other holidays. The last few years, she has been bugging DH (who is more of a last minute guy) to help her do something for Mother's Day.

I don’t like it. I don’t have any special feelings about it but I’m forced to spend this obligatory day with MIL.

My 9 year old DS spent this evening looking up lemon cake recipes to cook for Mother’s Day. Do I care about the holiday - not really. But, I absolutely cherish the love behind his efforts.

Anonymous wrote:Your post took a real turn at the end.

+1000

I love the day! We do a family activity but I choose and control the day and flow to the day. It’s awesome!

It’s fine. I ask for some kind of present I would probably buy myself. My teenager makes me something half-assed but sweet. He’s really into art right now, so maybe I’ll get a cool picture. In the past, we’ve gone out to brunch, which is always a nightmare. I stopped that a few years ago and would just have my mom and sometimes MIL to our house. This year we’ll probably grill in the backyard and my parents will come over and socially distance. Crazy. I cared more when my kid was little and I would get a total break from things. I always get my mom something...which remind me to remind my husband...