If you cheat --- do you *not* understand the intense pain you cause, the pain you cause to the person *you say* you love.

Is that love? If you don't practice loving behavior, what makes you think you love them?

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of women projecting on here how men feel.

Cheating is one way we do selfish things that potentially hurt one we love. Some people claim to love their spouses but withhold sex and affection. Do we question whether they actually love their spouses?

Even though the question is about men the answer is the same for women who cheat as well. You might call what you feel love but if you are cheating it is a love that isn't worth much.

Anonymous wrote:Its called compartmentalizing folks, when he is sticking it in the woman who is not his wife, hs are not thinking of the hurt he's doing to the "woman he loves"

ever

We have a winner!

Because they don’t believe honesty, respect, and trust are cornerstones of love. If they were honest about that it would be one thing but instead they lie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a black and white issue. Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love his wife, and love and sex mean different things to different people.

All of your PPs who are so absolute and black/white in their answers are not accounting for the fact that people are not all the same.

Just marry someone else in your club, not us

I’m a woman. Not sure what club you’re talking about.

Its called compartmentalizing folks, when he is sticking it in the woman who is not his wife, hs are not thinking of the hurt he's doing to the "woman he loves"

ever

This is why I value loyalty over love. You can fall in and out of love.

When you love someone, you respect and cherish them. You do not want to hurt them. Cheating also involves lying. If these things weren't going to hurt the other person, then one would be open and honest about it.

As a woman, I cannot reconcile how someone who loves me and doesn't want to see me hurt could lie to me knowing that if they told the truth it would hurt me.

Anonymous wrote:If someone is faithful for 20 years and then cheats does that mean that there was never any love? It has ever happened, you know.

When you cheat, that action is not an act of love for your spouse. So no it's not love when you cheat.

Yes I know this happens but the question is does that lets person love their spouse. The act of cheating means you aren't considering your spouse's feelings and so how can that be love.

Anonymous wrote:The reason so many women here insist men can't love you if they cheat is simply a defense mechanism. It makes the world less scary to boil things into simple columns rather than accept that a man can be a loving husband and still give in to the completely normal and universal desire to sleep with another woman.

Not scary thing. It doesn't make sense. How is it love if you are doing something that would hurt her and your family? That's just about you and your wanting have your cake and eat it. It's about you and nothing about her. That's not love. It's just selflessness. Just divorce in that case and at least keep the trust with your spouse, family, yourself even.

Anonymous wrote:This is not a black and white issue. Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love his wife, and love and sex mean different things to different people.

All of your PPs who are so absolute and black/white in their answers are not accounting for the fact that people are not all the same.

Just marry someone else in your club, not us

If someone is faithful for 20 years and then cheats does that mean that there was never any love? It has ever happened, you know.

The reason so many women here insist men can't love you if they cheat is simply a defense mechanism. It makes the world less scary to boil things into simple columns rather than accept that a man can be a loving husband and still give in to the completely normal and universal desire to sleep with another woman.

Wow, a lot of women projecting on here how men feel.

Cheating is one way we do selfish things that potentially hurt one we love. Some people claim to love their spouses but withhold sex and affection. Do we question whether they actually love their spouses?

If you cheat on someone you love you might be calling it love but if it doesn't come with some will power, morals and respect for the other person's feelings then it is a love that isn't worth much.