Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is crazy. We have a file with all of our investments, life insurance, home and car deeds, bank accounts, etc. Even our dc ( late teens) know where all of our financial records are!
We began traveling without them and so I wanted them to know where the will is and all our accounts in case something happened.
My dh has my retirement passwword and login for my work account and I have his. We both know joint accounts.
You need these and so just use covid as excuse to follow him to his office or room where he keeps all papers and ask to physically see. If online sit with him until he has given you password and log in.
I cannot imagine not knowing this information. It does not need to be an argument but what possible reason would a spouse say no to this request. If mine did, I would be so confused and hurt. The lack of trust would render the relationship no more than a light friendship or a business relationship.
I hope you get answers. Best of luck.
He uses the good ole why don’t you trust me ?!...
You say it’s not trust ( as that does not work) and say .....if you die I need to know how to access. But really I would say “ why is this a secret/ so hard for you/ don’t trust me.”
It’s a marriage!! How can you not know what your finances are? Do you work? Did you bring any assets to the marriage? Is it a second marriage? Children?
Your dh is not treating you like an equal, respected, partner. I don’t care how much money he has I could never be married to someone who would not share our very well- being with me.