Anonymous
03/25/2020 15:32
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Girl same but I have 4 kids and a medical spouse. I think I’m developing a drinking problem. Start drinking at 5 and finish a bottle a night. It’s the only thing keeping me going. Stay strong.
You're an alcoholic so stop pretending it's the fault of coronavirus! You were an alcoholic before and will be when crisis is over.
Yeah and anything else I can get my hands on!
Anonymous
03/25/2020 12:51
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Anonymous wrote:Girl same but I have 4 kids and a medical spouse. I think I’m developing a drinking problem. Start drinking at 5 and finish a bottle a night. It’s the only thing keeping me going. Stay strong.
You're an alcoholic so stop pretending it's the fault of coronavirus! You were an alcoholic before and will be when crisis is over.
Anonymous
03/24/2020 20:40
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
I am feeling this too. I wasn't in a good place as my sleep trained 6 month old has been waking multiple times a night for the past month, most recently it's consolidated into 1 two hour waking at 3 am. I cannot figure out why this is going on and it's making me literally BSC. And then my 4 yo is up singing at 630 am. So sleep deprivation is definitely not helping on top of all the isolation, loss of routine, worry about getting sick, and stock market losses.
Anonymous
03/24/2020 20:30
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Anonymous wrote:Meds are not a panacea and can come with serious side effects and be difficult to wean off. I was on them for years. I think focusing on being resilient is what OP needs and managing lifestyle factors. A pill is a crutch best used for a short period of time for most people, but far too often docs prescribe with zero counseling or examination of lifestyle factors, which is insane. Are you eating well, exercising, avoiding alcohol, limiting caffeine, talking to a therapist, drinking water, and getting enough sleep—min 5 hour stretch with a baby? And also limiting news intake? All of those lifestyle factors have a major, significant impact on mood and if you don’t address them but take a pill you’re not going to feel better. You have to look at the whole picture. Also—it’s pretty normal to feel crappy right now. So some of this is extremely normal given circumstances. There’s not a pill for that — it’s just sad.
I agree with this. Unfortunately, popping pills is so easy whereas doing the things you suggested (and I would add meditation to that list) is hard and time-taking. So most people go for the pills.
Anonymous
03/24/2020 17:16
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Good God Almighty! Get hold of yourself and start acting like an adult! People like you make me sick. You have no problems than everyone else. Grow up.
Anonymous
03/24/2020 16:08
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Meds are not a panacea and can come with serious side effects and be difficult to wean off. I was on them for years. I think focusing on being resilient is what OP needs and managing lifestyle factors. A pill is a crutch best used for a short period of time for most people, but far too often docs prescribe with zero counseling or examination of lifestyle factors, which is insane. Are you eating well, exercising, avoiding alcohol, limiting caffeine, talking to a therapist, drinking water, and getting enough sleep—min 5 hour stretch with a baby? And also limiting news intake? All of those lifestyle factors have a major, significant impact on mood and if you don’t address them but take a pill you’re not going to feel better. You have to look at the whole picture. Also—it’s pretty normal to feel crappy right now. So some of this is extremely normal given circumstances. There’s not a pill for that — it’s just sad.
Anonymous
03/24/2020 12:06
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Take the prescription and please reach out to your doctor or any mental health resource or call a friend or neighbor if you feel like you can’t manage. You know yourself best. I know depression and it is real and so very hard. If you feel like you are going to snap, tell someone. There’s no shame in it.
Check out the SPRING project about post-partum depression.
Don’t worry about any homeschooling. Keep everyone fed and safe and that’s all you have to do. Sending energy your way.
Check out the SPRING project about post-partum depression.
Don’t worry about any homeschooling. Keep everyone fed and safe and that’s all you have to do. Sending energy your way.
Anonymous
03/23/2020 23:04
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Anonymous wrote:Op here.
Thanks for the kind responses. And for the others: getting treatment, or anonymous support online, is one of the many ways I am helping my children, thank you very much. My grandmother was bipolar in the 1940s and 1950s until she had electroshock treatment that erased her memory but cured her mental illness. She was not sick because of a failure to “buck up”. Stop with the shaming.
And to the weird SAHM shamer (must there always be one?), my DH is as involved as he possibly could be. He’d quit his job in a heartbeat if it were necessary, but many employees rely on him. And although he works from home most of his work these days is covid related, so if we want the world to continue to go round, we need people doing their jobs.
I appreciate the commiserations and support this site can provide. I contacted my doctor who said she is concerned about all her patients with a history of depression but that being postpartum makes me especially vulnerable. She is sending in a prescription so I have it if I need it.
Also, I have so many strategies for lifting myself out of a mild depression, and they just aren’t available to me right now. Like, going out. Seeing people. Taking a spin class. Going to the gym. Treating myself to a fancy meal. Taking a long break from my kids while DH takes them some place fun. The list goes on. This pandemic will be devastating to those of us with a history of depression or anxiety.
OP I think all of us can relate. The loss of routine, school, social connections, the things we once enjoyed, watching disease take hold around us- is hard. Anyone that says they are not some level of depressed about all of this is a unicorn. So I would say your depression is normal. You SHOULD be depressed. But the difference is, how much does it effect your ability to function? Are you safe with you children, meeting their needs, not thinking about self harm, able to meet you own basic needs and that of your household (ok, let the clutter and craft mess slide). If yes to those, I think you are perfectly normal and just need to wait this out like the rest of us. No shame in admitting it is terrible though.
Anonymous
03/23/2020 19:59
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Girl same but I have 4 kids and a medical spouse. I think I’m developing a drinking problem. Start drinking at 5 and finish a bottle a night. It’s the only thing keeping me going. Stay strong.
Anonymous
03/23/2020 18:52
Subject: I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
Same op! I think the whole nation could use an antidepressant now.
Anonymous
03/23/2020 18:49
Subject: Re:I'm worried I'm falling into a depression (and I have 3 young kids)
^^ I understand the anger. That attitude of “I must be chained to my desk for my banking/biglaw/IT/whatever job” is sooooo toxic. First, it gives higher priority to the job than the SAHW’s well-being. And second, it sets unrealistic expectations for families who don’t have SAHPs and must share the childcare load. This is true in general too, not just during this pandemic.