Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:51     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
If OP's wife has an issue or a need to vent, she can talk to her doctor or even post here.

OP seems to want to control his wife's choices and body. I find it creepy that he is posting here and basically gaslighting her.

Let me guess - another White male!
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:50     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh, please! It's his child and life too. If his wife is having so much trouble nursing, she needs to go with formula and move on with life. She is making everyone miserable to prove absolutely nothing,!


Obviously you have no idea about the benefits of breastmilk.


Research shows the benefits are minimal. Breast milk benefits are overrated.


Actually, research shows that breast milk is the best for children. I wanted to give all advantages I could give to my children and so it was an excellent choice for our family. You are welcome to give whatever you want to your own child. Trust me, I do not care what you choose to feed your child.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:38     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So glad that I had a DH who supported my BFing in all ways and did not have a negative attitude. I am glad he put my wishes and the welfare of the baby first and did not mind if he was inconvenienced.

OP gives me the creeps for being a cold husband and father. Not an ounce of empathy for what the wife is going through. Terrible husband and father material. I wonder how some women choose to marry such men? Oh wait, there is another thread about how Lee Malvo married in prison. I guess there is a shoe for every foot!!

I completely disagree. He’s not negative; he’s realistic that pumping is negatively affecting his wife’s mental and physical health.


+1. Her pumping and not being able to do anything else for the baby is taking its toll on OP and the baby. People shouldn't be pumping to prove something (eg: I am a good mom if I forced myself to pump and feed my kid those few ounces of breast milk because it is beneficial to him. If I don't do that I fail as a mom).

I wasn't able to breast feed my DC. The amount of time it took to pump for a few oz of milk, combined with the difficulty my preemie had with latching when trying to breast feed made me give it up in a month. My DC is fine I think. And no, I do not feel like a failure as a mom. I did my best. The only thing I feel is I missed out on the mother/baby closeness while breast feeding.

OP, talk with her in a supportive and encouraging way like a PP said and state your feelings on the subject. It can't go on like this for her or for you if it brings so much stress. It is unhealthy mentally and physically. Make sure she knows you are there whatever she decides.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:19     Subject: Re:Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
If she is pumping every 2-3 hours, she is not getting REM sleep. One needs 4 hours (or so) in a stint to do that. That would concern me. If she is getting at least one 4 hour stint, then I would not be as worried.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:12     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
I pumped and feed exclusively for 6 months. Tried for the first 2 months to get a latch. At 8 months I eventually started adding formula. Would I do it again, or recommend someone else do it - NO.

At the time it seemed a very personal and important thing to me. To be honest I would have despised anyone who tried to convince me to do anything different than what I was doing. Thinking hormones, exhaustion and first time Mom issues messed up my perspective. I was so focused on trying to do everything right, I missed some of the joy of the early months.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:08     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:So glad that I had a DH who supported my BFing in all ways and did not have a negative attitude. I am glad he put my wishes and the welfare of the baby first and did not mind if he was inconvenienced.

OP gives me the creeps for being a cold husband and father. Not an ounce of empathy for what the wife is going through. Terrible husband and father material. I wonder how some women choose to marry such men? Oh wait, there is another thread about how Lee Malvo married in prison. I guess there is a shoe for every foot!!

I completely disagree. He’s not negative; he’s realistic that pumping is negatively affecting his wife’s mental and physical health.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:06     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I breastfed two kids. One until about 8 months the other until nearly 2. If my husband made any such suggestion I would have been pissed. It was not easy. Support her with whatever she decides to do. She needs to draw her own conclusion.


This is his child too and he should get say and he's right that it will help her a lot if he can also feed.

Nope. He doesn't get to force the baby to stop breastfeeding.

Are they HIS breasts? Perhaps he believes they are. YIKES. The epitome of selfishness. Get a therapist, OP.


OP here. I don’t need a therapist. Breast milk benefits are minimal after the first 3 months. I would be fine with her breastfeeding, but my son doesn’t like it. Her rarely breastfeeds, and when she tries to, he will scream and fight. He has never liked nursing. My wife is pumping every 2-3 round the clock to make 30-32 ounces a day. She went from being happy and laid back to stressed, often unhappy, and little time for a thing else. Our son will happily eat from a bottle and take formula. I’m not saying she needs to quit all together, but I feel she needs to pump less. This breastfeeding stuff has made her completely not herself. Studies have shown the most benefit is transferred from actual nursing. I’d be fine if she were happy; but she is often complaining about having to pump. We can’t go anywhere for more than two hours because she has to pump. I feel like she will be happier if she stops pumping or decreases it where she had time to sleep and for other things.



So basically, OP, you’re the one who is inconvenienced. You probably miss your life before the baby and the wife you had then. Get over it. Your wife is a Mom now which means you take a backseat and your baby’s needs come first. Don’t disguise your selfishness as concern for your wife.


OP here. Nope. I love being a dad and actually take care of him more than she does. She suffers from PCOS and nerve pain. I do wish my wife was more present and less moody, but no I don't miss my life before my child. It's also affecting her work too. My child's needs do come first, but pumping comes first to my wife. She rarely spends time with him because she is pumping. She spends most weekends sleeping in because she has been up all night pumping. I do everything - cook dinner, clean up after dinner, put baby to bed, help wash pump parts, make bottles for the next day, etc. She doesn't have much time to do anything but pump.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:05     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
I exclusively pumped for 10 months and it was particularly difficult in the beginning, so I get it, OP. It’s frustrating to see your spouse struggle and to have something completely take over their life. But I agree with PPs that the best thing you can do is to say (repeatedly) “I support your decision. Switch to formula or keep pumping - either way, I’m here for you.” But don’t use the word “quit.” If she’s emotionally tied to the idea of breastfeeding, that word will result in very hurt feelings.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:01     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Marriage counsellor, pronto.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 21:00     Subject: Re:Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
You people on here are crazy. Breast milk is not that nutritional and the benefits are overstated. OP has an almost 5 month old and his wife isn't even breastfeeding. She is pumping because her child hates to nurse. There is final benefit when pumping milk. Her baby sleeps 11 hours and she is up every 2-3 hour. She can't do anything and always complains to him about having to pump. If you're husband omplained to you about having to do something he solely chooses to do, you would be aggravated too. It sounds like OPs wife needs therapy. I wouldn't want to deal with her.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 20:58     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I breastfed two kids. One until about 8 months the other until nearly 2. If my husband made any such suggestion I would have been pissed. It was not easy. Support her with whatever she decides to do. She needs to draw her own conclusion.


This is his child too and he should get say and he's right that it will help her a lot if he can also feed.

Nope. He doesn't get to force the baby to stop breastfeeding.

Are they HIS breasts? Perhaps he believes they are. YIKES. The epitome of selfishness. Get a therapist, OP.


OP here. I don’t need a therapist. Breast milk benefits are minimal after the first 3 months. I would be fine with her breastfeeding, but my son doesn’t like it. Her rarely breastfeeds, and when she tries to, he will scream and fight. He has never liked nursing. My wife is pumping every 2-3 round the clock to make 30-32 ounces a day. She went from being happy and laid back to stressed, often unhappy, and little time for a thing else. Our son will happily eat from a bottle and take formula. I’m not saying she needs to quit all together, but I feel she needs to pump less. This breastfeeding stuff has made her completely not herself. Studies have shown the most benefit is transferred from actual nursing. I’d be fine if she were happy; but she is often complaining about having to pump. We can’t go anywhere for more than two hours because she has to pump. I feel like she will be happier if she stops pumping or decreases it where she had time to sleep and for other things.



So basically, OP, you’re the one who is inconvenienced. You probably miss your life before the baby and the wife you had then. Get over it. Your wife is a Mom now which means you take a backseat and your baby’s needs come first. Don’t disguise your selfishness as concern for your wife.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 20:55     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh, please! It's his child and life too. If his wife is having so much trouble nursing, she needs to go with formula and move on with life. She is making everyone miserable to prove absolutely nothing,!


Obviously you have no idea about the benefits of breastmilk.


Research shows the benefits are minimal. Breast milk benefits are overrated.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 20:38     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:My wife has been breastfeeding our son for a little over 4 months. We had issues with latching ( small, flat nipples) and required use of a nipples shield. He was never and still is not good at nursing. He nurses sometimes, but most times he rejects the breast and wants a bottle. She had supply issues in the beginning, and used formula, but now she is making a little more than what what he eats. I just feel like she is miserable. She has been moody and I know it’s a lot for her. Our son sleeps 8-7 hours a night, and she still gets up to pump to make sure she makes enough for him. I feel like she would be so much happier if she would at least partially formula feed. I think she needs the full nights sleep. I want her to stop or at least cut back on the pumping, but I don’t know how to tell her without feeling like unsupportive.


You are being supportive by being concerned about her mental and physical health! Try talking to her.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 20:30     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I breastfed two kids. One until about 8 months the other until nearly 2. If my husband made any such suggestion I would have been pissed. It was not easy. Support her with whatever she decides to do. She needs to draw her own conclusion.


This is his child too and he should get say and he's right that it will help her a lot if he can also feed.

Nope. He doesn't get to force the baby to stop breastfeeding.

Are they HIS breasts? Perhaps he believes they are. YIKES. The epitome of selfishness. Get a therapist, OP.


It seems you need the therapist, PP.

Op all you can do is support her. It must be hard to see her dealing with so much, but I would not even suggest she stop.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2020 20:30     Subject: Want Wife To Stop Breastfeeding..
So glad that I had a DH who supported my BFing in all ways and did not have a negative attitude. I am glad he put my wishes and the welfare of the baby first and did not mind if he was inconvenienced.

OP gives me the creeps for being a cold husband and father. Not an ounce of empathy for what the wife is going through. Terrible husband and father material. I wonder how some women choose to marry such men? Oh wait, there is another thread about how Lee Malvo married in prison. I guess there is a shoe for every foot!!