The 'best' to a teen may be the mom who lets her kids smoke, drink and party at her house. It may be the mo who buys tons of junk food or who has no rules or household expectations.

A teen's version of the 'best' may not be what you should strive for.

My friend's daughter moved in with her dad at 16. She always posted about him being the best and so awesome and an amazing dad (and how much she hated her mom). Dad treated her like a roommate - she could come and go as she pleased, do whatever she wanted. No rules, no responsibility. It was a 16 year old's dream.

Now that teen is early twenties and much closer to mom than dad.

Get a body like Kim kardashian, dress like her at school events
Bingo the all American mom

My mom was nice and all, but we didn't get each other AT ALL so if social media had existed, there's no way I would have been singing her praises on it. It's more likely I would have been vaguebooking about "not being understood" and quoting Smiths lyrics and huffing if she wanted me to share my passwords with her and keep an eye on my online doings.

So I assume my kid will probably spend a portion of her life either actively hating me or being at least mildly annoyed by me. For now, she mostly thinks I'm ok. I don't think she would choose any of the other moms over me, but who knows. I do try to keep the lines of communication open so that she feels like she can tell me stuff and I try to give her realistic advice about stuff. That's all I can really do.

Anonymous wrote:This is not the standard by which you want to judge. Similar with spouses - the loudest on social media professing their love have nothing magical, and often have the worst relationships from my own observations.
Do not get caught up in social media.

+1

Mom of 2 teens and a 20 year old.

Be kind and friendly to your teens’ friends. Get to know the friends. Be supportive and interested in the friends.

Talk to your teens. Stop lecturing or nagging. Ask how things are going on school, with friends, with classes. Be open and receptive. Work on your neutral, expressionless face so that your teen won’t be startled by your loom or response to something he or she might tell you. If you can remember a relevant situation or story from your own teen years, tell it.

Joke around with your teens. Tell funny stories about your most embarrassing moment as a teen or the most awkward situation you experienced. Laugh together. I watch certain movies w each DC just to enjoy it together.

Last night, my teenagers cheered me on as I threw spoiled tangerines into the kitchen trash, basketball style from halfway across the kitchen. Do t be afraid to be a total goofball in the privacy of your own home, in front of your kids.