Anonymous
Post 02/23/2020 11:17     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
My mom ( mother of 3) always said she loved the “growing ages” (baby, elementary, high school) so much more than the “changing ages” (toddlers, puberty/middle school).
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2020 10:53     Subject: Re:I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
4 was horrible. The Fing 4s is what we called it. 5s were better. Typically it's either 4 or 5 that will suck. For us 5+ was better. Ages 6 and 8 were best. Now DD is 8 and DS 10 and still good. More fights. I think the dynamic is different at different ages based on the number of kids you have too as you have to manage more than 1 kid at any time. Personally I really look back at that 5 and 7 ages as when we turned a corner in our family. I also think there's differences in gender when considering ages. My DD is much harder age 4-5 then DS.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2020 04:00     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
So.. when exactly at 4 do things get better? My son turned 4 yesterday and this is the worst age (since 3.5 really) so far with the nonstop screaming and defiance.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2020 03:28     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Almost 7yr old ages newborn-2 were challenging by starting at age 3 he really mellowed out and is a super laid back kid. Every year gets easier and I’m loving this stage.

4yr old was a relative easy baby, but high needs toddler and age 3 was total hell. She just turned 4, and things are getting better and she’s pretty awesome but we are definitely not at the sweet spot yet.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2020 01:59     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I have a child in high school and a child in elementary and problems don't have the same repercussions. However, if you ignore an issue in elementary, it might snowball into a challenging problem by the time the kid is in high school, and that's sometimes what you read about on the teen board...



Tell me what you mean by this!! I’m the parent of two elementary schoolers and I don’t want to screw things up. Did you or someone you know ignore issues in elementary school that made for more difficult teen years?


PP you replied to. I have experience with ADHD and associated disorders, specifically. My own child's ADHD was too severe to be ignored in elementary, so we dealt with it, but two of my friends ignored their children's milder attention issues and it is causing problems years later. One friend has realized she needs to have her child evaluated to ask for school support and seek out therapy and possibly meds, because her child is now depressed and convinced she is stupid, and the other friend is unfortunately still putting her head in the sand, which is really sad because I see how her child is struggling in high school and her symptoms as just so textbook...

In the teen forum, you see this a lot. Parents who post saying "my child always had X, Y, Z tendencies when they were younger, and now at 14 it's progressed to lying, sneaking out of the house to drink and smoke, etc". You can't ignore the X, Y, Z tendencies. You have to build the strongest trusting relationship you can possibly create with your children while they still think you're the cat's meow, so that they continue to share their life with you and you can find ways to help them before it comes to self-medicating with drugs, or whatever else they're going to try.
In part, I feel it comes from parents' hectic work schedule, and the kids' hectic after-school schedule. There's just no more time to observe and enjoy each other as a family, and some things fall through the cracks, parents think "I'll address that weird red flag when I have the time". Except they don't find the time until there's a real problem.




This is one of the best posts I’ve seen in a while. I see this a LOT. Teen parents feeling ambushed by things that were actually there for a long time. I also agree with your assessment of how it often happens.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2020 13:59     Subject: Re:I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old asked me in a dead serious tone last night:

MOM! I have to ask you something. Is it "pack pack" or "back pack"?!

I knew she sometimes said pack pack but couldn't correct her because it was so cute. But apparently someone at school caught on. She was SO serious it was adorable.

So yeah, elementary is pretty fun so far.


Oh my heart I love that.


Mine used to call goosebumps, Bruce bumps. She was a very clear talking child that didn't have very many kid-isms, and I cherished that one for a very long time.

For me, this is how it went:

Birth - a year old - 7th circle of hell. Needy, screamy, did not sleep, did not eat, long list of what the hell else could go wrong
1 year - 2 1/2 years old - 2nd circle of hell. Walks, talks, generally more entertaining. If she had slept better, and been sick less, it would've been easier
3-4 years old - Back to 7th circle of hell. Whoever called it 'Terrible Twos' got it terribly wrong. That was the Terrible Threes.
4-10 - Purgatory - heaven. Who is this child? She's amazing!!!


My oldest is 5 and now super fun. This is my favorite age so far. Babyhood and the lack of sleep was brutal. My kids are awful toddlers (always finding new way to injure themselves). My youngest is 2 so I’m in that stage with him right now. 3 and early 4 were full of tantrums. But once we hit 4 1/2 I really hit my stride with parenting. It’s such a magical age. They can actually be reasoned with and do interesting activities now. Their love of learning is infectious. Going to enjoy this stage before the teenage years hit!
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 15:39     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I have a child in high school and a child in elementary and problems don't have the same repercussions. However, if you ignore an issue in elementary, it might snowball into a challenging problem by the time the kid is in high school, and that's sometimes what you read about on the teen board...



Tell me what you mean by this!! I’m the parent of two elementary schoolers and I don’t want to screw things up. Did you or someone you know ignore issues in elementary school that made for more difficult teen years?


PP you replied to. I have experience with ADHD and associated disorders, specifically. My own child's ADHD was too severe to be ignored in elementary, so we dealt with it, but two of my friends ignored their children's milder attention issues and it is causing problems years later. One friend has realized she needs to have her child evaluated to ask for school support and seek out therapy and possibly meds, because her child is now depressed and convinced she is stupid, and the other friend is unfortunately still putting her head in the sand, which is really sad because I see how her child is struggling in high school and her symptoms as just so textbook...

In the teen forum, you see this a lot. Parents who post saying "my child always had X, Y, Z tendencies when they were younger, and now at 14 it's progressed to lying, sneaking out of the house to drink and smoke, etc". You can't ignore the X, Y, Z tendencies. You have to build the strongest trusting relationship you can possibly create with your children while they still think you're the cat's meow, so that they continue to share their life with you and you can find ways to help them before it comes to self-medicating with drugs, or whatever else they're going to try.
In part, I feel it comes from parents' hectic work schedule, and the kids' hectic after-school schedule. There's just no more time to observe and enjoy each other as a family, and some things fall through the cracks, parents think "I'll address that weird red flag when I have the time". Except they don't find the time until there's a real problem.


Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 15:17     Subject: Re:I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:I've got two in elementary school. I've got one that uses an agenda that's supposed to be signed by his main teacher confirming the entries and on occasion that he understands the current math being taught. Half the time the teacher just signs it and doesn't pay attention to what he's signing. I call my kid out on that because its his responsibility t0o, but he doesn't want me calling the teacher out. How are good habits formed, and 504 Plan requirements adhered to if the teacher won't/can't stay on top of things? Its more work for me. My other son has a teacher that's constantly behind letting parents know about assignments/quizzes and is unclear. There are several parents in the class that text each other to make sure that assignments are clear. I could, and do email the teacher, but I don't want to be that parent that's constantly emailing the teacher because I don't understand yet another assignment, or perhaps I might have missed an email or one of the dozens of worksheets and papers that come home. Clearly, I'm not alone in this classroom. I'm a pretty organized person, normally. We keep a family calendar and setup reminders. It gets out of hand sometimes because information doesn't always flow as quickly from the school/classrooms as it should.

What I do love about elementary school is that the kids are learning so much. Its nice to see them try to apply what they learned at school. Its nice seeing my older child teach the younger one something that he learn.


Take your rant about your child’s teachers elsewhere!
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 14:03     Subject: Re:I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
I've got two in elementary school. I've got one that uses an agenda that's supposed to be signed by his main teacher confirming the entries and on occasion that he understands the current math being taught. Half the time the teacher just signs it and doesn't pay attention to what he's signing. I call my kid out on that because its his responsibility t0o, but he doesn't want me calling the teacher out. How are good habits formed, and 504 Plan requirements adhered to if the teacher won't/can't stay on top of things? Its more work for me. My other son has a teacher that's constantly behind letting parents know about assignments/quizzes and is unclear. There are several parents in the class that text each other to make sure that assignments are clear. I could, and do email the teacher, but I don't want to be that parent that's constantly emailing the teacher because I don't understand yet another assignment, or perhaps I might have missed an email or one of the dozens of worksheets and papers that come home. Clearly, I'm not alone in this classroom. I'm a pretty organized person, normally. We keep a family calendar and setup reminders. It gets out of hand sometimes because information doesn't always flow as quickly from the school/classrooms as it should.

What I do love about elementary school is that the kids are learning so much. Its nice to see them try to apply what they learned at school. Its nice seeing my older child teach the younger one something that he learn.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 13:23     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
I don't think I have ever clicked on Tweens and Teens until after I read your post. My oldest is 7 and I think in another year I'll need to start familiarizing myself with that discussion just to prep for what is to come. Crap!
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 12:50     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I have a child in high school and a child in elementary and problems don't have the same repercussions. However, if you ignore an issue in elementary, it might snowball into a challenging problem by the time the kid is in high school, and that's sometimes what you read about on the teen board...



Tell me what you mean by this!! I’m the parent of two elementary schoolers and I don’t want to screw things up. Did you or someone you know ignore issues in elementary school that made for more difficult teen years?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 12:49     Subject: Re:I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
I love the <4 age more. Kid is in upper ES now and struggling with vision, teeth, asthma, food allergies issues now. Preschool age was more worry free health wise.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 11:42     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
I have a kid in his senior year of high school. I don't know, OP, everyone's mileage is different, I think. The view back to the elementary years is a little fuzzy. Big kids have scarier issues, but I LOVE having a big kid! Teenagers are interesting people. Don't let the teen years scare you.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 11:31     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum

I agree. I have a child in high school and a child in elementary and problems don't have the same repercussions. However, if you ignore an issue in elementary, it might snowball into a challenging problem by the time the kid is in high school, and that's sometimes what you read about on the teen board...

Anonymous
Post 02/21/2020 11:17     Subject: I love the problems posted in the Elementary age forum
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can totally see this, except my nine year old has severe ADHD and is suddenly not an only child and he is not handling it all well. He’s really just not pleasant. Ugh.


this, with a different diagnosis.
i keep hoping it will get better.


Same here. 8-year-old with ADHD. Every day is a battle to get him to go to school. I can't even imagine the teen years.