Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who said I assume siblings will be welcome. I was really unclear. I don’t just take the sibling along with no warning. I clear it with the host and only if it’s a place where a lot of other people will be present (scrambles yes, art studio no), and if I’m friends with the host. I plan on staying with the sibling even if it’s a drop-off party and I plan on paying as well.

But again, people do usually step in and pay and I don’t think I’m reading them wrong when they don’t seem to mind.

Of course you are reading them wrong.

If I am the host, you aren’t reading it wrong! I invited your child because my kid wants him/her there! I am willing to work with you to make it work so they can come. If that means that I am mostly supervising your four year old while you are in a different part of the play place with another sibling, that you have to drop off the invited child, or even that you need me to drive them, that’s fine with me! Parties should be fun, not a hassle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is our first friends (non family) birthday for our 4 year old boy. At a place that charges per child, we invited 12 friends from preschool, 7 of them are bringing an older sibling. This is almost doubling our cost, is this normal? Why are so many parents asking to bring siblings? If it’s at a home no big deal but outside it’s quite an extra cost and I don’t have the heart to say no. This is all new to me.

I always think that people who say this have never been in the position of entertaining 12 four year olds in their home. This seems like a much bigger deal than extra kids at an open play space, particularly if parents cover the entrance fee.

I would much rather pay $25 for a sibling at a play place than add an extra 2yo at my house.

Me too!

A bounce house that’s safe for 6 four year olds might be dangerous with 10 kids ages 4-8. My level of anxiety would shoot through the roof. I would rather pay an extra $100 at the play place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who said I assume siblings will be welcome. I was really unclear. I don’t just take the sibling along with no warning. I clear it with the host and only if it’s a place where a lot of other people will be present (scrambles yes, art studio no), and if I’m friends with the host. I plan on staying with the sibling even if it’s a drop-off party and I plan on paying as well.

But again, people do usually step in and pay and I don’t think I’m reading them wrong when they don’t seem to mind.

Of course you are reading them wrong.

+1 Unless you are a close family friend and I specifically invited all your kids, you have put me in an awkward position and I am doing it to be nice, not because I want your child's sibling there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

Unfortunately, you are incorrect. Unless it says "siblings welcome" you should assume no siblings.
And of course hosts step up to pay; it's rude not to. Still, it places them in a bad position.

+1. Just like with any invitation, wedding/baby shower/what have you - you don't assume someone is invited who isn't named on the invite!

Anonymous wrote:PP who said I assume siblings will be welcome. I was really unclear. I don’t just take the sibling along with no warning. I clear it with the host and only if it’s a place where a lot of other people will be present (scrambles yes, art studio no), and if I’m friends with the host. I plan on staying with the sibling even if it’s a drop-off party and I plan on paying as well.

But again, people do usually step in and pay and I don’t think I’m reading them wrong when they don’t seem to mind.

Of course you are reading them wrong.

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me my first yr and the party place really couldn’t accommodate (in my case I didn’t receive a heads up and the siblings showed up day of and my spouse was away for work) I was personally pissed as my son was 4 and I couldn’t manage a boatload of
Extra kids (bathroom needs etc) and their own parents were off running errands. I would
Honestly say they’re welcome to use the facility and watch the siblings but the venue only accommodates x kids for your party room.

One mom brought her daughter and they did their own thing in terms of payment and no pressure to join. Today she and so are friends and I found the other parents very inconsiderate. I have an older child and I never experienced anything like that and I would never do that in return.

That’s very odd. I have never seen anyone drop off siblings before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because no one wants to hassle with finding and paying $$$ for a babysitter for the other sibling so they can go sit a jungle joes with a bunch of 4 yr olds and parents they don’t know. It is cheaper and easier to bring the other child and pay their entrance fee.

Isn't there another parent?

What does this add? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe there are multiple siblings and the other parent is attending the older kids' sporting events. Maybe the other parent works on weekends. Maybe one parent takes care his or her own ailing parents on the weekends.

This. I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that every family has two parents home of an easy solution for childcare all weekend. People from farmers to firefighters to chefs, small business owners, retail workers, hairdressers, nurses, doctors and lawyers all might need to work over the weekends. And many people live far from family and don’t have a regular babysitter if kids are in daycare.

You don’t have to accommodate siblings, but you should address the issue. Either tell people upfront that no siblings are invited, make it a drop off party, or plan to accommodate some siblings.

This happened to me my first yr and the party place really couldn’t accommodate (in my case I didn’t receive a heads up and the siblings showed up day of and my spouse was away for work) I was personally pissed as my son was 4 and I couldn’t manage a boatload of
Extra kids (bathroom needs etc) and their own parents were off running errands. I would
Honestly say they’re welcome to use the facility and watch the siblings but the venue only accommodates x kids for your party room.

One mom brought her daughter and they did their own thing in terms of payment and no pressure to join. Today she and so are friends and I found the other parents very inconsiderate. I have an older child and I never experienced anything like that and I would never do that in return.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of well off families in this area who don’t understand that for some of us, hosting a birthday party is something we have to budget and save for and 10 extra kids is a lot of money to us. They just assume it’s no biggie to add their other kids to the party.

So yes, you have to write please no siblings on invitations at this point. I don’t ever bring siblings to parties but I know plenty who do.

Exactly. We ended up not having a party one year in preschool just to avoid the whole sibling drama.

Or you could just write no siblings please on the invitation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah if it doesn’t say “no siblings” I assume siblings can come. Personally if there is going to be an extra expense I don’t want the host to have to pay for the sibling, but every time I have gone pay for them, the host steps in and says no, they will cover the cost.

You're wrong, and while the host is SAYING that, I assure you they are cursing you out in their heads and thinking what a cheap, tactless bitch you are.

+1
The invite is for the child who is invited. Not the whole family.

PP who said I assume siblings will be welcome. I was really unclear. I don’t just take the sibling along with no warning. I clear it with the host and only if it’s a place where a lot of other people will be present (scrambles yes, art studio no), and if I’m friends with the host. I plan on staying with the sibling even if it’s a drop-off party and I plan on paying as well.

But again, people do usually step in and pay and I don’t think I’m reading them wrong when they don’t seem to mind.

Anonymous wrote:Because no one wants to hassle with finding and paying $$$ for a babysitter for the other sibling so they can go sit a jungle joes with a bunch of 4 yr olds and parents they don’t know. It is cheaper and easier to bring the other child and pay their entrance fee.

spoken like someone who thinks she's the center of the world...