I think there is something special about receiving the rsvps through the mail (for our wedding and all 3 kids mitzvahs). But I am not offended and don't care one way or another about how you choose to invite me to celebrate with your family. I am just happy to be included at such a memorable event. And yes, I cry at every single one, because I know how much work it takes to prepare these young kids to lead an adult service.

What's sad is that this question was asked in February 2020 before anyone knew what the next 18 months (and counting) would look like. Looking back, being able to attend a Bar Mitzvah that we received an invitation for - whether it was sent electronically, by paper, or via carrier pigeon - would have been the greatest simcha.

I had a 2020 Bar Mitzvah planned that got moved to 2021. We, thankfully, were able to hold it in June when the Covid numbers were down. Through all of that crazy planning and re-planning and changes, and pare-downs, I realized that none of the little stuff really mattered - electronic or paper invitations? Who cares? We got to celebrate with family and friends and dance a hora and listen to my son recite from the Torah.

I hope that 2020 has taught us not to sweat the small stuff.

I think it’s fine. I didn’t do it for either of my kids mitzvahs but I don’t care what other people do and paper invites get thrown out.

You can give a gift via Venmo.

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I think it's incredibly tacky, especially since you expect guests to write a check or give something significant

The point is to not generate a ton of wasted paper. Who cares how much the invitations cost? We give bar mitzvah checks to celebrate the occasion, not to cover the price of our mailed invite.

Greenvelope is great. We used that for one and have also used Paperless Post. The functionality of Greenvelope was much better- it even let’s you arrange the guests into a seating chart.

I have received a few. I don’t know why people are bothered to be upset. I like the lack of waste.

But I belong to a fairly low-key communities.

Picking out invites was one of my favorite parts of the planning process. I’m 35 and still have one framed.